No question is too small, too strange or too weird. Check out the sidebar to see how you can send your questions in, and I will answer them here :) Other than that, I like to post music, preach and use this as a journal of sorts.
Wow, I woke up this morning to the sound of birds chirping and sun streaming through my window. What a beautiful day! :)
I have a couple Twitter questions from my lovely blog readers. Here we go, I promised I would answer them, didn't I?
Q: How do i get a guy that i don't like AT ALL to stop following me around? - Stalker Trouble, via Twitter
JAAG: You should talk to him, but don't make it too personal but also, don't do this in front of his friends either to hurt his ego. Pull him aside and tell him exactly how you feel about him and your friendship with him (if there is any friendship in existence). But no flirty moves! Just be yourself and make it simple. Good luck!
Q: There is this guy that showed interest in me, but after one date, he disappeared. What happened? - Disappearing Date, via Twitter
JAAG: There are two scenarios that I can think up after reading this: 1) He is a total player, and he was just stringing you along as another "score". This is unfortunate, but the truth is, some guys do that for the thrill and to show off to their guy friends. The other scenario might be just as valid, 2) He really is interested in you, but now he feels like he is too vulnerable and too far in. He wants to take things slow, and is scared about how you feel. What I can suggest is to Facebook the guy or call him, and see what he says. If there is no response, then you know what to expect, which isn't much. If he seems a little interested, then keep talking about things that got you both interested in each other in the first place.
Q: Do you believe in fate and soulmates? - Starry Eyed, via Twitter
JAAG: hahaha, this is a cute one. Honestly, what I do believe in is that there is a right person for everyone, because we all have a plan for us from God. I've been hurt enough to learn that there really aren't such things as fairy tales and Prince Charmings. The only way I will believe in stuff like that is when there really is one that asks me to a first date and ends up marrying me... so I guess, in a twisted way I do, but I wouldn't call it soulmates and fate, I would call it God's plan. :)
Anyways, Thanks for all the Twitter questions! Keep them coming, guys! Don't forget, you can get your questions me through email or through my personal Twitter, @raerachelrae, or the blog twitter, @JAAG143.
Enjoy the rest of the spring break weekend, its all we got until we're back in school! :)
STAY OUT OF TROUBLE AND DON'T FORGET TO SMILE! I'd like to dedicate this song to all the spring break-ers out there: enjoy the sunshine, we finally have some!
This makes me think of summery days, even though its still spring. Big Time Rush - "City is Ours"
Oh the joys of staying at home during spring break. Makes you wish you were back at school.. for me, anyways :)
Ever since I answered the last question, I am happy to say that I was bombarded with even more questions! I guess now would be an appropriate time to go back and answer them.. and I also adore the little names you give yourselves.. it makes me feel like a real advice columnist :) Here we go :
Q: So I met this girl at a party and we had a ton of fun, and she called the the day after to talk to me and ask if I wanted to hang out some time. When I met her at the place that she wanted us to meet at, she was not only late but she was with another guy. What gives? - One Night Stand? via email
JAAG: I guess now we know why our parents are so overprotective of us and talking to strangers...
But all joking aside, now you know not to pursue her, because it's just a waste of your time. These are what we like to note as "party hookups" which 95% of the time are just based on sheer highs of fiction and the so called love you thought you shared during that night. Sorry to burst your bubble, but even if you felt like she was the one, she only viewed you as a one night stand.
On the brighter side of things, now you know what you are looking for in a relationship, and what type of girls are worth your time. Obviously this one wasn't, so go find one that will love you back completely.
Q: There is a boy that works at Starbucks that I think is really cute, but I have absolutely no guts to go up and talk to him! Just giving him my order is traumatizing enough! I have a hunch that he is flirting with me too.. but I will never know for sure. What should I do? - Falling for Starbucks, via email
JAAG: I must admit, I laughed a little when I read this because it's so cute! I wish all Starbucks workers were cute, then us girls would all be happy :)
I think you should make an effort to conquer your fear of talking to this boy without stumbling. If what you suspect is true and he is flirting with you, be fearless! Comment on something small first, like the weather or maybe the Starbucks special for the week. Ask his opinion on what reccommends... and suddenly, you find yourself having a smooth conversation with the boy of your dreams.
Q: My girlfriend and I have been dating for only 2 months, but suddenly I feel like things are really boring. What can I do to make things better? - 2 months 2 soon, via Twitter
JAAG: Ask yourself this: Why does it feel like to you that things are "Boring"? If you can answer that, then ask yourself this: Do you really want to continue this relationship, or is this something that you feel that it should end? Would you work hard enough to make things work out for the two of you?
If you want to make things work, then try and do something special for not just you but for her as well: do something spontaneous. Instead of the standard movie and dinner date, set up a picnic in the park or moonlit walk on the beach. Do something daring and different that tells her, "Hey, you're special and I want to share these memories with you."
On the other hand, if you feel like this is too much for you and it's time to pull the plug, then I say sooner than later. Don't lead her on, but don't full out ignore her either to prove a point. Make it a point to talk to her privately to explain how you feel. Tell her that things aren't working out but try not to put the blame on her for this uneventful relationship. Either way, hopefully this works out for you and her!
Q: I broke up with this guy last year, and things have been pretty rocky between us. Now we are back on speaking terms, but I heard from a couple people that he likes me still and wants to get back together with me. The only thing I want from him is to stay friends now that normal has returned. I'm not interested in him anymore like that. What should I do to tell him how I feel? - Not Interested, via email
JAAG: Again I say, better sooner than later. He needs to know how you feel, and he needs to hear it from you and not your friend or his friend or through the rumour mill. Tell him the truth, but keep it concise and to the point. "I want to focus on being friends with you now" is better than "I'm not interested in dating you right now because I want to focus on other things." Obviously no one has the right to force you into liking this guy, but you want to make it known to him that the only thing holding you back from starting a relationship with him is not external influence, but something within you.
Q: I broke up with my girlfriend because I found that she was too clingy. Lately I have found that I'm missing her more. What gives? - Bipolar Dater, via Twitter
JAAG: In my eyes, I see two different types of break ups: the "It's not you, it's me" break up and the "You cheated on me, you selfish idiot" break up. Your break up is probably the first one, which is common.
Usually when a person breaks up with another for the first reason (it's not you, it's me), they will find that now that they are single, the person that they broke up with seems more attractive, and all of a sudden you miss the idea of being in a relationship in general. So maybe it's not really the fact that you miss her, its the idea of you being in a relationship that you miss. This is understandable, but it doesn't to happen to everyone. For example, one time I broke up with someone and I missed the idea of being in a relationship, and I missed the guy. Another time I broke up with someone and after the break up, I felt more liberated than ever before. Different people leave different impressions on their once significant others.
The other break up leads one to feel totally liberated that they aren't with the selfish person holding them down from living their life the way they want to. In that circumstance, no one is really missed. Well, maybe the one that cheated will realize how wrong they were in the end...
In conclusion, you broke up with her for a reason. That's totally understandable. Now your task is this: 1) don't get a rebound, because its not fair to that person; and 2) don't be inconsistent. Sure, you could still be friends with this girl, but if you find that you are flirting with her and sending her texts like you did in the past to lead her on, STOP. It's not fair to her. This isn't to say that maybe somewhere down the road you will both be given a second chance.. but I think you should both cool down from this relationship before either of you go find another potential soulmate.. or get back together with each other.
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oh, and one other question that I found totally random and totally unrelated to questions that I usually see in m inbox...
Q: JAAG, are you bi? - Just Curious, via Twitter
JAAG: *tries to stop laughing*
Ahem.
Well, no. I have friends that are both guys and girls. I am romantically attracted to guys, and I never really have been romantically attracted to girls. Of course, girls seem to act more bi than guys. I love hugs and yes, I tend to use the word "love" a lot.. but yeah. I have nothing against people with that orientation, but I don't personally feel that way for girls.
My question is, why the curiousity? :P
Anyways, there are some questions for you to pore over. Enjoy the spring break while it lasts, its creeping up on us and its going to come to a close real soon unfortunately..
STAY OUTA TROUBLE AND DON'T FORGET TO SMILE! Here is some music for you to listen to...
I have a new found love for the British boy band One Direction. Enjoy, all you Directioners out there :)
Sorry for not writing for a while... things have been hectic! But now spring break has finally started and now we can all chill out for once. Especially me, who finds that living life at school is sometimes very confusing and difficult and weird. Nevertheless I try, very hard, to be a regular person.
One question struck me, very deeply I must say, so I thought that I should answer it the next time I got the opportunity to blog...
..Which would be now :)
Q: JAAG, my boyfriend and I have been going out for almost a year now. I don't know what changed, but everytime he sees me he walks the other way, or is very secretive about his plans, or doesn't even let me help him with math, a class he is failing in and has always come to me for help! A couple of my friends said that they saw him kissing another girl (a senior at our school, no less!) and at first I didn't believe him. But then today I was at the mall with my sister and I saw him walking hand in hand with the girl that my friends said he was kissing before. I didn't confront him, and he called me a couple hours ago like everything was normal. What should I do??? - via email
JAAG: Firstly, I am so, so sorry to hear that this guy, whom you call the love of your life, would do something to you like that after being with you for that long of a time period! I think that it's time to face the facts: this guy isn't worthy enough. If he was the one for you, he wouldn't be getting all antsy after a year of dating. If he was into you, he would be trying to make it work and make you realize that he is the one for you so that you could date for a longer time and then eventually get married when the time is right!
Sadly, most high school relationships don't end very well. I would know, I've been there myself. You have to ask yourself if this relationship is making you happy. Why is it that he turns and walks the other way when he sees you? Why is it that he is all secretive about his weekend plans? Why doesn't he let you help him? Take these as signs of warning, babe.
Talk to your boy about this. Tell him how you make him feel, and also tell him that you caught him with another girl that isn't you. Tell him that he should make himself known, whether he wants in or out of the relationship, and be prepared for any answer he throws your way. If he says, "Yeah, I want out," then don't be sad. Feel LIBERATED. You are an independent woman who doesn't need a guy like that to hold her down.
However, if he says that he still wants to make this work, you are going to have to think about whether or not you are ready to make it work after everything he has done to you. IF you feel like you can help the situation, then I say go for it. Sadly, most people after seeing what their significant other has messed up can only feel like its time to move on, myself included. Does he make you happy? Does the idea of you being with him in a romantic relationship make you happy? If the answer is no, then I think you should take a step back and reassess. Trust me, when the time is right, you'll know. As for now, do what you need to do, and best of luck! ;)
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As I said, it's SPRING BREAK! at first, I didn't really have any concrete plans- my younger sister has a better social life than I do ;) After becoming an independent woman who doesn't really act much as a socialite, it would appear that I am a loner.
Guilty.
I was pleasantly surprised Sunday night by my best friend Aaron. He goes to school in Toronto and is on the other side of the country. He told me that there was no chance of him visiting this year because he had aa seminar and retreat to attend, so I hung my head and said, "Fine, I'll see you some other time."
I was out with my friend the other day at the mall doing some intense shopping. "Girl time," my friend Roxanna called it. "Since you are a new, fabulous, single girl."
When I let myself into the what I thought was an empty house, I walked into the family room and saw that there was Josh Groban on the TV screen. It was the DVD menu to his "Awake" tour, filmed in Salt Lake City. I love Josh groban so much, he has an amazing voice. I told Aaron before that I would love to see him in concert.. if he ever came to Vancouver again. Sitting on the couch was my friend Aaron. "Now you can seem Josh Groban in concert," he said.
Apparently my family, his family, and my friends had been in on this the whole time. He surprised me.
After the shock wore off, I asked him about his seminar and retreat. Pulling me into a hug he simply said that "he made that part up."
We watched it together, from start to finish, and I enjoyed every minute of it with him. Not just that, but he is staying the rest of the spring break with me. Finally, I have plans! :)
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Oh well, here we go again. After this week, the next check point would be New Orleans. More on that later :)
Enjoy your spring break, don't get too rowdy. Stay safe, stay out of trouble, and don't forget to smile!
Love from your online so-called 'relationhip counsellor who is totally under certified but learns from life experience..'
The pounding headache doesn't let up. It just doesn't go away.
Other than that, life is fine. To some extent.
Do you ever wonder why some people do the things they do? People can be so irrational sometimes, and sometimes I feel like I have to go change them. To be the one that changes the world.
Unfortunately, that will never happen because I will never be able to do that. That, and stand some irrational people.
Now you just sit and wait and think to yourself, hopefully, that this world will be a better place.
The world is certainly changing, sometimes faster than I myself can keep up with.
It's sometimes scary to know that you thought you had everything thought out. You once had a decent plan for things, and for a while, the fantasy I lived in was a dream come true.
But eventually you wake up from the fantasy and realize things aren't always what they seem. It happens to us all the time, and as much as we wish that things won't change and that we will remain as innocent human beings with a thirst for adventure and imagination, we grow up. We mature. We move on.
Love is one of those things. Love is an illusion: one moment you are on top of the world. The next thing you know you have been knocked down by all your wants and dreams. The mirror which once stared back at you has been shattered, just like your heart, metaphorically.
Once upon a time, it was me and him, him and I. Nothing could stop us. He made my dreams come true a couple months ago, during a time when I knew that the last thing I needed was a relationship.
Things change, and people change. The things we do for love are so many.
So I fell. I fell faster than I ever fell before, maybe because I was hurting from the last time, maybe because I wanted something new, maybe because I was young and crazy. I still am by the way, but I'm older now that I have found the other side of him.
We had our whirlwind romance. He was my knight of shining armour. But eventually even the fabric began to fade, and all I am left with is a bunch of used-to-be's and a faded fabric. Life became confusing and saddening, all because I realized that this is not where I'm meant to be.
I don't regret anything, I said. I told him that maybe things were moving too fast and now, all I needed was to focus on getting better, to be a better friend, and to get things sorted out.
He said fine. I love you. Hopefully we can stay friends.
BUT YOU CHANGED AFTER THAT. You became different from what I remember you to be. You aren't the guy I fell for last summer. You are DIFFERENT.
Now all of a sudden, the friends I thought I knew have nothing to say to me. They want nothing to do with me. I haven't spoken to some of them in ages, and it's all too ironic considering the timeline of events.
Did you even think twice before clicking the 'X' in the top right hand corner of the conversation window when I asked you why? Did you realize how much it hurt me to see that you sign off everytime I sign on?
If this is what you want, if this is what you truly mean by "you loving me" and "wanting to remain friends", then you can keep it. I'm not one for toxic relationships. I can only deal with so much, I can only tolerate so far, so you can forget about keeping me as a friend.
If you didn't like me in the first place, all you had to do was say so. You didn't have to become the president of the hate club.
But you know what? Life is too short to live in the pretense that everyone hates you. You can't go around pleasing everyone. You can try, but it gets tiring after a while. Live your life honestly, live righteously, and you'll have a halo that no one can ignore. Just be the best you can be, and people will see that they should have listened to your side of the story in the first place.
That's my little soapbox right there.
So now, I'm going to move on. I don't need you to dictate how I live my life or how to enjoy it. I have better things to do.
Please pray with me for the little 2 year old girl from the Midwest in the States. The Midwest area recently suffered extensive tornado damage. This little girl was found very far away from her home in an empty field. She is currently in critical condition, but her parents, older brother and sister are all dead. She has no family in the area left to return to, so please pray for her so that she gets better soon and for the repose of her family's souls. May they, and all others who have died rest in peace.
Stay out of trouble and don't forget to smile. You only have one life, so live it up to its full worth and potential.
