quickie post :) - emotion: :\

i don't have that much time today, so i will post a short and sweet ish post :) oh, and no questions answered today and neither will i show you how much response i have gotten to my last post! you are all regular JAAGs, my lovelies <3

today was an interesting day. it started off wonderfully. but anyone's life can change in an instant - something happens, someone says something, people reacting to people, etc.

my life changed like that today.

you know, it's one of those days when you do something once. then people want you to do it again, so that they can 1) see you do it an just feel so happy and 2) know that they have some sort of power over you.

i'm not the type of person that let's people push me around.. besides, i know what i have done. in this instance, i told him goodbye (not forever - just for the time being until i see him the following day)

but what happens when all of a sudden, past memories, past, not so good memories, flood back into your mind and you realize this could be the last time you see his face, his sweet smile, hear his voice and have him wrap you in his strong arms again?

i don't personally have anything against sports, but people do get injured. football is no exception. i lost a dear friend to football, and while he is in a better place, sometimes i wish i can pick up the phone just to hear his voice again. but it's too late now - he's gone, watching over me like he always said he would.

then we come back to today. i'm standing there, wondering if i really should have done something to make myself known. maybe i should have run up to him and put my arms around him once more. maybe i should have told him good bye again and risk sounding redundant.

we all make choices, and even the tiny ones affect us one way or another. this one, for some reason, hit me hard.

so there i am, kind of broken hearted and tear stained. not because of what anyone said, but because of what i didn't say.

i want to say that i'm sorry. i really wish that i didn't blow my chances. i want to know that he'll be alright, and that when i call his number, he'll be on the other end, smiling and making me smile.

STAY OUT OF TROUBLE AND DON'T FORGET TO SMILE. if you want to say something to anyone, especially something from the heart, say it before it's too late. hopefully i didn't make a mistake this time, because if i did, i don't get another chance. i hope you all take this to heart and remember (: good luck to the boys - do well, win, and stay safe.


love from your troubled blogger,
rachelrae xx