... is apparently many things, especially if it has to do with love and relationships. i personally don't know how i managed to learn so much, but i guess reading, and experience all come into play. :)
i've actually been asked quite a few questions through email concerning this blog and DMs on twitter from guys and girls alike (shocking). so let's call this...
... "the love questions answered by that random asian kid, JustAnotherAsianGirl" ...
here we go...
1. My GF constantly goes around telling people and her friends that we aren't together, but totally sucks up to me when we are alone. i know this because one of my friends told me that my GF told him. what do I do now? -via Twitter DM
JAAG: well, my advice is that honestly, this girl isn't being honest to you. a relationship is based on trust and respect... so tell me, what type of respect is this when your GF goes around telling others that you aren't 'together' or how much she hates being with you? this is almost as bad as two-timing, and my advice is to confront this girl pronto, before she leaves you high and dry.
2. Sometimes i think that i'm not good enough for my boyfriend. i think this just because recently, whenever i would ask him if he wanted to hang, he would make up some excuse saying that he was 'busy'. i know now that this is not the case because one time he said he was 'busy', i saw him at the mall with a couple of his friends and an unknown female friend. what's the deal? -via email
JAAG: oh dear. sometimes, as much as girls love boys for their protection and support, sometimes they don't appreciate the fact that girls are more sensitive to their male counterparts; hence, we crave the attention and love. [of course this doesn't apply to every girl and boy]. i would say, talk to your guy. let him know how you feel. ask him if there is anything bothering him.. and as difficult as it is, don't jump to conclusions right away. find the common ground between you and him and your relationship should be smooth sailing. :)
3. How do i get a guy to notice me? -via BloggerMail
JAAG: the timeless question that every girl wants to know the answer to, including yours truly. in order for one to get into a successful relationship with a guy that truly cares for them for who they are, firstly, BE YOURSELF! don't reinvent yourself to make yourself seem more compatible for your cutie. Is your crush a meat chomping, football player who doesn't know the difference between geometry and geography, while you are a conservative, honour roll student who's a vegan? chances are, even if he does fall for your gorgeous looks, you'll have problems when you go out on dinner dates. my advice for you is to keep your options open and don't tie yourself down just yet... hang out with your girls, keep the cliques to a minimum, and sooner or later, the right guy will come to sweep you off your feet!
4. when should i tell a girl 'i love you'? - via Twitter DM
JAAG: wow, a sensitive guy, a rare find! :) well, congratulations to you on making your relationship work for you like this! now, because every girl is different (obviously i am different from your GF immensely), you have to work it in according to her. find a moment when it's (obviously) just the two of you, maybe while on a date or something. take her by the hand and look into her eyes to show sincerity, and tell her those words. two points though- make sure that it's a couple dates (or even a couple months) into your relationship, and don't rush things: as much as i can break down how and when and where you should do this, ultimately, if you feel that the time is right, then go for it. good luck!
5. There's this girl i really liked, but while i liked her she had a boyfriend, so i got a girlfriend, just to take my mind off of her. then she broke up with her boyfriend and while i was with my girlfriend, we kind of had a friction filled friendship. now that i'm broken up with my girlfriend, i feel like i'm falling in love with the girl i originally loved. what do i do now? -via BloggerMail
JAAG: it's almost like you're living my life! wow, surprisingly enough, i've been through a similar circumstance, so i know how you feel..somewhat. (i was the girl in your situation, just some FYI)
so, what do you do now? well, i guess firstly, you should make sure that you are completely over your old girlfriend and make sure that she is completely over her old boyfriend... that way, you can avoid any chance of 'rebounding', which sometimes is very demeaning to some. then, try to rebuild the friendship: you said there was a bit of friction? try to ease it up: write her a letter, send her a song, call her... do something meaningful that will tell her how you truly feel AS FRIENDS. when you feel that you have finally broken past all the old friction, gradually do things to show her how you truly feel as SOMETHING MORE. i can tell you first hand that girls really want to know that the guy is making an effort to prove a point, and that most of us appreciate the small little gestures.. if you get the message across loud and clear, then she'll know how you really feel about her.. and that's what girls love the most: no mixed signals! of course, you must follow through with it and stay consistent, so if you think that this is just a phase and it will eventually pass, don't even bother. but if you feel that it will last a little longer and maybe turn into LOVE <3, then go for it.... proceed with caution :)
6. is it bad to date my ex's best friend after i dumped him? -via Twitter DM
JAAG: unfortunately, yes it is. it's basically like you going out with your best friend's ex boy friend. there is a certain level of trust that you build up with your friend, and this breaks the trust that you have built with her. likewise, boys have their own trust that they build up between themselves, even though on the exterior, it may not seem like it.
what i can suggest is that try your best to keep your options open, and try not to tie yourself down. if you keep convincing yourself that your ex's best friend is "The One", chances are you will act on it. try your best to keep a look out, but keep him on your radar, but not all the time. when you feel that you and your ex have COMPLETELY (and i mean COMPLETELY) moved on from each other, make a subtle (SUBTLE) move; maybe a simple wave or smile when you see him in the halls, a simple conversation.. stuff like that. don't be too fierce, and you'll see how far it gets you.
7. how do i get my summer fling to be my boyfriend when school restarts? we go to the same school and are in the same grade and stuff, but i don't know if things will change just because school is starting... and i really like him too! -via Twitter DM
JAAG: well, is it 'just a summer fling' or 'something more'? ask yourself this question. chances are, if he feels the same way you feel about him , you'll start seeing him a lot more often than you once did. he'll make his way to see you, especially if he likes you. if he hasn't done anything on the first day, shoot him a text with maybe an inside joke from the summer or tag him in a Facebook picture of you and him from the summer, or write on his wall. do something small to initiate to the two of you our feelings.
however, if he doesn't reply to your texts or do anything about your picture or even say a simple 'hi' by the time a week/month/couple months have gone by, chances are this was just a summer fling. while you are disappointed that this relationship didn't last, hey, you saved yourself a lot of trouble: guys like this tend to be known as 'the player' and they get around pretty quickly. if you had gotten together with him, (of course this is speculation) there could be a chance of him cheating on you or just using you to get another girl. for now, focus on the task at hand: getting good grades, making the volleyball team, singing lead in the school's annual musical, fundraising for a future trip... and worry about guys when the worthwhile ones come along. :)
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WOW~! these are just some of the many questions i have received ever since the last post... i didn't even know that i was capable of being a so-called 'love guru'! thanks for making this happen, and i definitely will answer more questions, but you got to send them in!
well, there are approximately two more weeks until school starts for me today. not counting the day of, there are 13 more days until school starts. feelings are mixed: happy, anxious, disappointed, overjoyed...
well, you know my motto: STAY OUTTA TROUBLE AND DON'T FORGET TO SMILE! here's a feel good song for you to enjoy while you anxiously await the coming of school..
"I Want You" by Fefe Dobson ..
Good luck to everyone in the coming school year! peace out and live it up, life only gets better...
rachelrae xx
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