Wow, sorry for not posting in such a long time. I've been out of town getting probably the bestest tan I have ever got since going to Hawaii 6 years ago! :) I've also been spending a lot of time on Tumblr and stuff, my new found love <3 But nothing can compare to the base that I have created here on my original blog!
I've gotten a ton of questions - questions regarding summer loves. Questions about what my outlook was for school year 2012/2013. Questions on pursuing new boy/girlfriends this year. The most random questions you can ever imagine! I also got a ton of interesting mail that I would like to answer to :)
My saturdays are now free, so I can answer as many of them as I can in the next little while... >:)
Q: It was probably the best summer ever, JAAG! My best guy friend and I of 11 years have finally fallen in love with each other.. how exciting is that? - via Tumblr
JAAG: I think that at any time, when someone finds out that their crush likes them back and they are in that stage of, "so cool, we both like each other!" and for a while, you are in the euphoria that most people mistaken for love, when really it isn't. Don't get me wrong though, I've been where you are and felt that I was in love when really it was all an illusion. In fact, I lived quite a parallel life to you last year. All I can say is, stay true to yourself. Don't let your best guy friend now turned boyfriend overrule you. The best thing about dating a close friend is that you can skip the awkward stage of getting to know each other and having the rumours fly that you are already planning out your wedding when in reality, you haven't even lifted off the ground yet. Don't let the guy pressure you into doing anything that you don't want to. Most of the time, people that we are closest to are the ones that want to push us out there further, but if you keep your ground, none of these bad things will happen to you. When you sense that something isn't right and you feel like mortal enemies from the best friends that you used to be, don't hesitate to pull the plug. Best of luck!
Q: How was your summer? - via Twitter
JAAG: My summer was an interesting one. The first 2/3 was all work and more work (although I did sneak in some time to blog to you guys!). I had a music history exam to take in the beginning of August, and I was doing some volunteer work and went in for a couple job interviews. I think there was one day where I actually did get to go out with two of my best friends and hang out in true summer fashion. After the exam I had one week to chill out, and I did. Then I went with my family on a two week vacay to Florida: Orlando & Miami and the Bahamas: Great Bahama Island, Nassau and the Norwegian Cruise Line's private island, Great Stirrup Cay. It was a fun trip, meeting up with my mom's family, going to DisneyWorld, experiencing NASA, cruising to exotic locations... it was all so much fun, and it went by really fast! So in essence, it was a good summer :)
Q: Did you learn anything about your personality/conquer anything that you needed to face this summer? - via Tumblr
JAAG: I'm not quite sure what you meant by this question, but I found it interesting and I interpreted it in a way that I hope is the way that you asked this question, but if it isn't, I'm terribly sorry for rambling and not answering your question!
I learned a lot in music history this summer. In terms of myself, I learned that this guy I liked? Probably not the smartest guy to like after all. If a guy is cute but has no content, there isn't much in him to date. Also, I learned that if I see a cute guy and try to ignore it because there is no way in the universe that I will be his girlfriend.... well, let's just say that God works in mysterious ways ;)
Q: Are you going to date this school year, since you are single now? - via Tumblr
JAAG: I have realized that that is a bad attitude. I shouldn't have to be dependent on having a boyfriend to be happy, because look at where that got me last year. I have so many friends and people that care for me, that it's actually totally unnecessary to have a boyfriend to make me happy. I'm so blessed and lucky! To answer your question, anything can change. The moment I get a boyfriend will not because I want to make myself more happy to make up for what I am lacking, but because I have found someone that can love me wholly for who I am. So far I haven't found that person yet, but you gotta keep looking, because he is somewhere out there.
Q: are you the girl at Guildford? - via Twitter
JAAG: Ah, a Surrey Native I see ;) if you are referring to the girl with the short hair and sans glasses.. then yes :)
Q: Summer loves ? - via Twitter
JAAG: I met this guy on the cruise... I noticed him right away when we were waiting to get onto the boat, but I tried to ignore the tugging at my heart, because he would never fall for me. And even if we became friends and such, maybe he lives halfway across the world! But he followed me, and eventually in the waiting area he was sitting right behind me. My hat was knocked off my head, and guess who picked it up?
Anyways, we became friends, hanging out and stuff. We went to a party together, we walked on the beach together, we had dinner with each other. Probably the cutest summer love I ever had :)
Q: I just want to say that when you were blogging through your difficult and cynical phase, I was following your blog. You are an inspiration to me and I appreciate all that you are able to put out there for random strangers to read. You gave me hope. I am happy to see that you are doing well now, and I want you to know that you helped me pull through, even though I don't know you and you don't know me. You showed me how to look past my imperfections because I am still perfect in God's eyes. Thank you so much <3 - via Tumblr
JAAG: It means so much to me that people actually read the random stuff that I post, but it is another thing to actually help someone through a difficult time just by blogging about mine. Thank you for reading, thank you for understanding, thank you for coping, and best of all, thank you for not harming yourself in anyway! You are BEAUTIFUL, no wait, BE-YOU-TIFUL. There is no one else like you on this Earth, and if you are gone, the world is lacking in someone like you. I'm so happy that we were both able to push past the hardships in our past! Here's to a bright and amazing future! :)
Q: Do you still get depressed even though you have been deemed 'safe' and 'non-suicidal'? - via Tumblr
JAAG: I think that is common for humans to get depressed, since we are human. Now that I am 'safe' and 'non-suicidal', I do sometimes get depressed. Just because one is deemed safe doesn't mean that they will be happy for the rest of their lives. Being depressed is like being sad but it is magnified almost 10 fold. It causes them to be paranoid, in pain, and wanting to get themselves out of a painful situation, usually through suicide. I've been there, and I would have to say that while I don't get depressed as much now, I still do. It will take a while before I can get to an even better place, but I don't think I will stop being depressed for certain reasons.
Q: What is the biggest goal that you have for yourself this school year? - via Twitter
JAAG: I think that it would be to end the year off strong, even though it's only the beginning. Apparently Grade 11 is a crucial and important year. Also to have fun and not to get tangled up in stupid drama that I don't have to be tangled up in.
Q: You were tweeting a fair bit about a story that you are writing. Care to explain?;) - via Tumblr
JAAG: Absolutely! I didn't even realize that so many of you follow me on twitter :P Well, basically, I've written two sort of memoirs of my own life, and I wanted to try my hand at writing a fiction novel. I've written a couple short stories for contests here and there, and every time I did try to write a fiction, I would stop at chapter 6 or so. No joke. This time around, I actually had an outline to follow, some basic points that I made sure that I would hit throughout the story. Whenever I felt an emotion, I let that lead my writing, and so far it's been going pretty well. I'm on chapter 13 :) More details to come!
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Well, first week in school and there isn't that much homework! :)
Listening to Big Time Rush to make up for the fact that they are in my city this weekend but I won't be going ): Oh well.
Thanks everyone for being so understanding and for knowing more about me than I do sometimes, you are all so amazing! :)
STAY OUT OF TROUBLE AND DON'T FORGET TO SMILE! Best of luck to everyone this school year, and keep those questions coming in! :) And any Rushers going to the vancity BTR concert this weekend, have so much fun, have double the fun for me! Haters are gonna hate, but Rushers are gonna elevate! <3
Your fellow Rusher,
rachelrae xx
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