happy new year!

Hey everyone!

I just want to wish everyone a happy new year! 2012 is old news... let's start off 2012 right!

I wish everyone the best of luck and good health this coming year... keep watching out on my blog as I talk about my new year's resolutions :)

keep sending in those questions, and I will make a resolution right here, right now:  I vow to be more on top of the JAAG blog this year!


Happy 2013 everyone! Make it good, make it count, live every moment up, because you never know when it will be taken away from you!


STAY OUT OF TROUBLE AND DON'T FORGET TO SMILE! :)



rachelrae xx

I'm Here for You.

So hello fellow blog readers! Life is strange, I think you would agree with me. My life has taken an emotional and strange and slightly awkward turn.

I know I suffer from depression. That is not a new fact for me, but it always gets me every time no matter how ready I am for it. I'm a strange person altogether, so I guess I will have to accept that.

To help reach out to other people with this same state of mind, I want people to know that I am here for you. I want to empower you. I want you to know that in times of trouble and need and the times when it feels like you have no one left to talk to, I can be there for you. I may not know you personally but I will try my very best to help you out, because no one deserves to suffer alone and in silence.

More information can be found on my Tumblr: I've created a link to a page that hopefully you will read and feel that you aren't alone. I want to make you feel as welcome as possible. No amount of words is too large or too small, too ordinary or too bizarre. I will take you the way you are. You don't need to worry about being judged.

Here it is, please check it out if you ever need help: http://mariachelle-annaclare.tumblr.com >> want to suicide?

Just like I answer all your questions, you tell me whether or not you would like them to be posted on the blog or not for other people to read and learn. I can tell you now that whatever you choose to tell me will forever stay confidential and I will not share it with anyone.

Along the lines of this subject, I got a couple questions concerning suicide and depression that people wanted publicized and answered...

Q: I know you always say that there is someone out there that thinks that I am worth it.. but so far I  haven't been able to find that person, so does that make me useless? - via Tumblr

JAAG: Absolutely not! There are people out there that love you for who you are, and even if you haven't found them yet, rest assured that they are out there. For a long time I have struggled with this as well: the people you thought actually cared for you turn out to be your worst nightmares and be very unsupportive. I want you to know that everyone has a purpose in life, and you have to find it. You may have a small part in this world, but without this part, our world wouldn't be complete :)\

Q: My friend wants to suicide. What can I do to stop him? - via Twitter

JAAG: Talk to him about it and see if you can offer him any words of encouragement and tell him that he is an amazing person. Tell him about his strengths and what you like best about him. Tell him that you will be there to listen if he ever needs someone to listen. If you feel that you won't be able to handle what he could tell you, tell an adult that you can trust. An adult can help you in finding help for your friend.
Also, tell him to read my "want to suicide?" page on my Tumblr which is listed at the top of this post. Hope that helps, and tell your friend that he is amazing!

Q: Is depression the same for everyone? - via Twitter

JAAG: Not really. There are two types of depression: clinical and situational. Clinical comes from an imbalance of chemicals in your brain. It's interesting to note that this is hereditary and if a person has a family history, it is not uncommon for it to be seen in future generations.
On the other hand, situational depression derives from, as the name implies, 'situations of your present and past'. Say for example you failed a test, you got bullied, you were denied a scholarship, a close family member passed away, your dog ran away... these are all things that can traumatize people and make them feel like their life is spiralling out of control or that they are 'worthless'. People have different levels of depression, some very mild and some very severe, and people have different ways of coping with it, so depression is different for everyone.

Q: How can I deal with my depression on my own? My family thinks that anyone who suffers from depression is 'weak' and 'useless' and there is no such thing as depression in their world. - via Tumblr

JAAG: I live in a world similar to you. While my parents don't share views quite as extreme as yours, my parents do feel that depression is just a head thing that you can grow out of and that it is not a serious disease. Unfortunately, it is, and it is sweeping our continent by storm. I would first suggest talking to an adult that you can trust, preferably someone that has no ties to your parents in case it accidentally slips. A school counsellor is a great choice. However, if depression becomes suicide and you are seen as 'at risk to yourself' chances are you may get 'ratted out' so to speak. When that happens, don't feel betrayed. It is for your good. That happened to me where my adult told the school guidance counsellor and I was in counselling for 5 weeks. At the time I felt super betrayed, but now looking back, I am so thankful that he did that for me <3

Q: I've been doing all these things that I don't usually do: I've been hanging out with different people, jaywalking during lunch, coming in late for classes and giving teachers attitude. I never used to do that, but now, I don't know what's happening to me. what should I do? - via Tumblr

JAAG: This may be a side effect to depression: breaking out and wanting more attention to yourself for all the wrong reasons. It happens, and for a little bit, it happened to me too. I actually made out with someone during my little rebellious streak! But looking back, it was a mistake. These things rush to your head, they make you feel superior and for a while you are on a power trip that is nothing but ecstasy and fake-ness. Good for you for noticing it, and now, try your best to do what you used to: get into class early. Cross the sidewalk instead of running across the street. Smile at teachers, and maybe keep your mouth closed for a bit. You can do this: it maybe all in your head, but you have the power to change.

So yeah, I hope that you can find some peace of mind in my blog. Like I said before, don't hesitate to message me or ask me a question or tell me what's going on or how you are feeling now. We are all different, unique, special and beautiful. YOU ARE WORTH IT.

This is a song for you, kinda depressing, but I love it all the same. "The A Team" by Ed Sheeran

"It's too cold outside for angels to fly, to fly, to fly."

STAY OUT OF TROUBLE AND DON'T FORGET TO SMILE! Remember that there is no one on this earth that is youer than you - Dr. Seuss. :)

love,

rachelrae xx

Freedom at last!

Finally, I am free from tedious studying and mindless staring at pages of words that I cannot fully comprehend! The wait is over and I can finally enjoy my summer without thoughts of an exam looming over head <3

STAY OUT OF TROUBLE AND DON'T FORGET TO SMILE! :) I know I am...

from the blogger who is now a lot happier and less stressed,

rachelrae xx

Studying in the Summertime ):

Well, I guess the bright side is that my exam is on Friday, and after that I won't have to study for another test until September rolls around. Fingers crossed that my exam will go smoothly, and that maybe, just maybe, my first major test for school will be in October?...

Three questions today:

Q: How can I tell my boyfriend to stop making fun of my friends? - via Twitter

JAAG: So here's the thing, this should be a signal to you that this boyfriend needs re-evaluating. At the same time, this signal should be LOUD and CLEAR. If this guy is dissing your friends and shows no signs of stopping his immature behaviour, you need to talk to him. Have a werious conversation with him, and tell him that not only do your friends not appreciate the words coming out of his mouth, but you don't either. Tell him that you aren't joking around and that this could be the end of the relationship should he choose to not listen to you. All in all, follow your instincts: if at first he does well but ends up reverting back to boyfriend 1.0, then you can kiss this relationship goodbye.

Q: I see on your Tumblr that you like both Niall Horan from 1D and Logan Henderson from BTR. Which one do you like the most? (my money is on Logan since you have a blog for him) - via Tumblr

JAAG: Well honestly, I like both of them equally. If you really want to get in deeper, I liked Logan more just because BTR came out before 1D did, but it really is difficult to choose. Also, check out my blog again and ask me again whether or not I can choose between Logan, Niall, or Vin Diesel. There is no competition there... :)

Q: What are some of the things that you look for in a boy?  - via Twitter

JAAG: I've stopped looking at solely appearances, because I learned that 1) that gets you nowhere and 2) sometimes it may get you in trouble. Now I look for someone who is respectful, responsible and funny. If I like a person who can't respect me, my family or my friends, then this relationship is clearly not going to work out. If you wnat to love me, you will have to love all of me, and that includes the people that are dear to me. Also, it would be a bonus if the guy is cute <3

Okay, well that was exhilirating.. thanks again everyone for bearing with me! I might have another post up next week depending on the time I have after work, but then after that, its adios amigos!  I'm off to Florida for two weeks, and then school is going to restart. Where did summer even go?...

"Summer should get a speeding ticket."

Okay, so before I go, how about you guys take a vote: Who is hotter?

 Logan Henderson ^^

Vin Diesel (sorry I couldn't find a GIF) ^^

Or Niall Horan? ^^

STAY OUT OF TROUBLE AND DON'T FORGET TO SMILE! Wish me luck on that exam, and I will surely think of you guys while I'm tanning away in Florida ;)

Have a good rest of the summer! A little bird told me that there are only 27 days left until we get back to metal lockers, classes changing every hour and cafeteria food.

cheers!

rachelrae xx

100 Truths

Hey everyone,

So to answer the question from the other day about the 100 truths, I will most definitely do so. I was going to yesterday but I was feeling kind of sick so I went to go take a nap. But here I am, back and ready to post the 100 truths that I promised. :)

Here we go!...


1. Real name: Maria Rachel Clare Wong
2. Nickname(s): Rae, Rach, Raychulchul
3. Zodiac Sign: Taurus
4. Male or female: FEMALE
5. Elementary School: OLGC
6. High School: HCRHS
7. College: not there yet ;)
8. Hair color: blackish brown, sometimes a little reddish under the  sun :)
9. tall or short: shortish
10: flats or sneaks: flats
11. Sweats or Jeans: jeans
12. Phone or Camera: camera
13. Health freak: meh.
14. Orange or Apple: apple
15. Do you have a crush on someone?: perhaps..
16. Eat or Drink: drink
17. Piercings: none whatsoever
18. Pepsi or Coke: coke.

HAVE YOU EVER

19. Been in an airplane: yes
20. Been in a relationship: yes
21. Been in a car accident: yes
22. Been in a fist fight: yes, surprisingly enough..

FIRST...

23. First piercing: Got none.
24. First best friend: Aaron Chan
25. First award: Speech Arts 2006
26. First crush: PS ;)
27. First word: mama

LAST...

29. Last person you talked in person: My mom
30. Last person you texted: i don't text..
31. Last person you went to the movie theaters with: Mateo and Eugene, Tower Heist
32. Last food you ate: eating seafood linguini right now..
33. Last movie you watched:
34. Last song you listen to: Sharkboy and Lavagirl with Rox and Mi :)
35. Last thing you bought: A NYC dark blue nail polish
36. Last person you hugged: Mia Peters :)

FAVE:

37. Food(s): sushi, lasagna, pizza, salad..
38. Drink(s): anything that i make myself in my cuisine art hand blender
39. Bottom(s): my jeans
40. Flower(s): ? a daisy  i guess..
41. Animal(s): turtles.
42. Color(s): black. okay, maybe that's a shade.. red
43. Movie(s): You Again, Letters to Juliet. RomCom junkie <3
44. Subject(s): Socials, English, Religion, Band :)

HAVE YOU EVER:(Put an X in the brackets if yes)

45. [x] fell in love with someone. - LIKE RIGHT NOW.
46. [x] celebrated Halloween.
47. [x] had your heart broken...
48. []went over the minutes or texts on your cell phone.
49. [] had someone question my sexual orientation.
51. [] got pregnant.
52. [] had an abortion.
53. [x] did something I regret.
54. [x] broke a promise.
55. [x] hid a secret.
56. [x] pretended to be happy.
57. [x] met someone who changed your life.
58. [] pretended to be sick.
59. [] left the country.
60. [x] tried something you normally wouldn't try and liked it.
61. [x] cried over the silliest thing.
62. [x] ran a mile.
63. []went to the beach with your best friend
64. [x] got into an argument with your friends.
65. [x] hated someone.
66. [x] stayed single for 2 years.

CURRENTLY:
67. Eating: LUNCH, seafood linguini + salad
68. Drinking : water
69. Listening: "Right Here With You" by David Cook
70. Sitting/Laying: sitting
71. Plans for today: study for science provincial
72. Waiting: for my dreams to come true with the boy that changed my life.

YOUR FUTURE:

73. Want kids? yeah
74. Want to get married? yeah
75. Career: high school teacher
76. Lips or eyes : eyes
77. Shorter or taller: meh, doesn't really matter as long as i don't shrink ;)
78. Romantic or spontaneous: definitely romantic
81. Hook-up or relationship: definitely a relationship
82. Looks or Personality: Personality

HAVE YOU EVER:

83. Lost glasses/contacts: nope
84. Snuck out of a house: nope
85. Held a gun/knife for self defense: nope
86. Killed somebody: the hell?.. definitely no
87. Broken someone's heart: yeah
88. Been in love: yeah
89. Cried when someone died: yeah

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

90. Yourself: YES.
91. Miracles: hate that song.. but yes
92. Love at first sight: yeah
93. Heaven: most definitely
94. Santa Clause: heeeheeeheee....
95. Kiss on the first date: no..

TRUTHFULLY:

96. Is there one person you want to be with right now: absolutely
97. Do you know who your real friends are: now I do
98. Do you believe in God: God's my one true love and saviour, so yes yes yes yes yes yes...
100. Post as 100 truths?: Yup, going right on my blog :)


Hope that answers somethings. Comment or throw an ask in my tumblr inbox or tweet me for more info ;) I put up a more precise (or not) bio of myself on tumblr, as well, i began a jounral page. go check it out on my sidebar, it's all there: www.rchlwngxx.tumblr.com

STAY OUT OF TROUBLE AND DON'T FORGET TO SMILE! Summer is so close I can taste it.. and there is only one more exam left! :)

rachelrae xx

"The End is in Sight"

So today I went on a walk with one of my favourite people in this whole world, my favourite teacher who isn't my teacher (yet), Mr. Palmarin. "The end is in sight."

AKA, I have three exams left to write (which btw, I took some time out of studying to write this!) and then summer will be here. Today was the closest to so called June weather ever - apparently its going to rain really really hard this weekend. Sad.

Anyhow, I'm sorry that I haven't been posting! Its been a busy few weeks trying to get things in on time and studying for my school finals. I have a little pocket of time before my next exam comes and now. Also, I've spent a lot of time modifying and remodifying my Tumblr and what I want to post, so check it out, I think I'm pretty much keeping this: www.rchlwngxx.tumblr.com

Here are some questions that I got between now and the last post, on relationships, love, and personal stuff...

Q: There is this boy that I really like, but I don't know how to apporach him and talk to him. I want to tell him how I feel but I don't want it to be awkward if he rejects me. What should I do? - Shy, via Tumblr

JAAG: The timeless question on how to tell the object of your affection how you feel. Girl, there is never an easy way to tell a guy how you feel. While everyone is different, you honestly will never know how he'll respond until you take the plunge and give it a try. My advice is to just be yourself. If you pretend to be other wise, he won't be falling for you, he will be falling for a second rate version of you. Be true to yourself, and talk to him. Tell him, hey, I just met you, and this crazy, but here's my number, so call me maybeeee~... or if you aren't Carly Rae Jepsen and you've known him for a while, just be honest and upfront. Tell him your feelings, and if he says that he's not really interested, then don't take it as defeat. Now, at least you don't have to go out of your mind and wonder if he likes you back... and you can find someone else to crush on :)

Q: There is a boy who I like that I think likes me, so I asked him to talk to me. We constantly talk on facebook, but when I asked him to talk to me outside of facebook (i wanted to meet him for starbucks), he totally ignored me. Now what? - It's only Starbucks, via Tumblr

JAAG: Its always so difficult to like such guys, the guys that only will talk to you online and never in person. That should always be one sign to be aware of if he doesn't show any interest in talking with you in person. Don't be so hard on yourself; if anything, this is all on him and definitely not on you. Take this as a sign that maybe he wasn't as serious as you thought.  Just move on and hey, next time you know, facetime is just as important as screen time.

Q: If you could date any celebrity, who would you date? - via Twitter

JAAG: Boo, I've answered something like this before! ;) Just kidding, I don't mind answering it. If you asked me this one week, then asked me a week later, I might flip flop... I would have to stay true to my Rusher boy, Logan Henderson.  He's so cute! :)

Q: Have you ever felt like you weren't skinny/pretty enough? - via Twitter

JAAG: I think every girl at some point in their life, even if it wasn't the two superlatives that you listed, feels insecure about something. So to answer your question, it would be a definite yes for me. When I was younger, I was tall but a little bigger than other girls. It was hell, because even if people don't point it out, I knew it. But when people did, I would want to punch them. Nowadays, now that I'm a littler taller and stretched out and lost a lot of weight from where I was before, people always say "Wow, you lost so much weight" or "You're so skinny now!" and I'm like, Yeah, I was an absolute giant before. Thanks so much. As for being pretty enough, it's all in the eyes of the beholder. I could very well say that I'm not pretty enough now, and sometimes I do, but I have to work with what God gave me. If He gives this to me, then I should flaunt it and be happy with what I have.

Q: Now that you are a single girl, looking back, is there any boyfriend that you had that you regret breaking up with? - via Twitter

JAAG: That is an interesting question, I never actually thought about that...
Well, what I always tell my friends whenever they ask if there are second chances possible, my standard reply would be "Well, if I wanted a second chance, then I would have worked harder to make it work up the strength to break up with the guy."
Looking back, I don't regret any of the 3 relationships that I have been in. The three guys were all different and shaped me into the person I am today in a unique way. I don't regret breaking up with them either, because I felt at the time that it just wasn't going to work out, or that I wasn't ready for where the relationship was going, but I never regretted breaking up with them. Like, are you referring to pining for the guy and going all "I'm so sad, I don't have him anymore?" like that? Well, I guess at the beginning, after one breaks up with another, you will feel a little unbalanced because you have been around that person, your 'other half' for so long that it's awkward now that you broke up with them. But like I said before, being single is probably the best time of your life until you do find the special person to share the rest of your life with... so enjoy it!

Q: What's the best thing about single? I always see you write about that here on your blog. My girlfriend just broke up with me, but I don't really see what's so great about being single. Help me! - Unhappily Single, via Email

JAAG: Awwwe, darling, singularity isn't a bad thing, I gurantee it! Now that you are single, you can firstly hang out with your guy friends a lot more. You can do the stuff that you want to do without sacrificing for her (ie you know all the guys nights that you give up because she wanted to go watch that new chick flick? Now you can go play video games with them instead of bailing!) Just try and be happy. I know that it sucks to be dumped - trust me, I've been there. But the bright side is that you don't have to be tied down anymore. Don't make this the reason why you can't live life to its full. Do all the things that you didn't do while you were in that relationship.. because you're worth it! :)

I just decided to add this because 1) I love this movie and 2) I put this on Tumblr yesterday... It's one of the final scenes in "Letters To Juliet" starring the beautiful Amanda Seyfried and the incredibly handsome and buff Aussie actor Christopher Egan.

STAY OUT OF TROUBLE AND DON'T FORGET TO SMILE! We're halfway through June, halfway through 2012! This is insane.. anyhow, since summer is around the corner, enjoy it while it lasts! :)

Take care,
rachelrae xx

Summer?

wow, where has the time gone?? this is total insanity, the school year is over in exactly one week.

Here are some questions that I got that should be answered...

Q: Me and this girl have been dating for a year or so and now i am really tired of being with her 24/7. what should i do? - via Tumblr

JAAG: This should be a warning sign about where your relationship with your girlfriend is going: aka, perhaps nowhere. This is not necessarily a bad thing, but maybe a time for you to wake up to the change that might be needed in your life. Try talking to her, in a non-confrontational way, that you might need some space from her for a while, and see how that goes. Perhaps you feel suffocated from spending all your free time with her and you never really get a chance to hang out with your friends. Suggest to her that you and her should each have a respective guys/girls night out with friends. Hopefully this will ease any tension between you two and make you guys last even stronger :)

Q: I liked this guy ever since i met him in grade 4 (i'm 15 now). i have a friend who i introduced to him a couple months ago and now they are inseparable. I've never gotten one solid coversation with him in the years that i had liked him. what gives? - via email

JAAG: ouch, this kind of situation sucks, and I would know because I have been there before and I currently have to see the ex object of my affection dating a girl that he had just met earlier this school year. This maybe a sign that this guy, (as harsh as it sounds, I'm sorry!) doesn't like you. This, of course, is his sorry loss. You are too good, too amazing, too beautiful to be held back by this guy from liking other guys. I say, let them be. You don't really know if they will really be a 'thing', so why waste your precious time feeling jealous over something that hasn't happened yet? Go out and explore, chica! The world is big, and time's a wasting!

Q: Where are the hottest guys in the world (in your opinion?) - via Twitter

JAAG: ooh, good question! a difficult one though ;) I would have to say that cute guys are everywhere...you just have to find them first. I personallly like Greek guys :)

Q: there is this girl that i like, and everytime i try to talk to her, i freeze up or do something that makes me look like a totally uncoordinated guy or an idiot. what should i do to tell her that i totally like her and that i'm not a total klutz? - weak at the knees , via Tumblr

 

JAAG: Take deep breaths. Tell yourself that you are a great guy, and this girl has nothing to lose if she is caught talking to you. Promote yourself with confidence and wear something that makes you feel happy. Ask something simple: If you have a class with her, ask her how her assignment is going or make a funny impression of a teacher. If you have done your reasearch (you know what i'm talking about if you did), ask her about her hockey team is doing. It's the simple things that can make her day and make her realize that you are a great guy to be with. Good luck!

 

So, if you are looking at the calendar like me, you would realize that, hey, it's summer break just around the corner.

 

OH SHOOT.

That means exams.

I should study.

 

STAY OUT OF TROUBLE AND DON'T FORGET TO SMILE! :) Remember, keep the questions coming! tumblr is an excellent way to, just saying :) Good luck to everyone with exams and stuff, and enjoy summer!

 

rachelrae xx

 

Don't know what went wrong, but I'll try again.

I have no idea what went wrong, everyone! I had posted at least two posts after the most recent one that is currently present on my blog... must be something wrong with the school server >.<

Anyways, here are the long awaited answers to the questions that you asked a long time ago..some relationship based, some just plain interesting. Thanks for everyone's patience!

Q: There is this girl who is constantly flirting with me and getting physical with me. The crazy thing is, I don't like her at all! How can I get her off my back, figuratively and literally? - Creeped Out, via Tumblr

JAAG: I think you better have a one to one talk with her, but before you do, make sure you make your reason known for why you want to have this talk with her. She may be under the impression that you want to be her boyfriend. Some girls tend to do that.
So, the talk. Tll her that you really aren't interested in dating anyone now, and that you would like it a lot better if you just stayed friends (or acquaintances, pick your preference). Let her off easy, and try not to bring in the fact that you feel harrassed. However, if after you talk to her and she still harrasses you, you may want to seek help from the administration at your school to see what can be done. Best of luck on talking to her. I know it will be a difficult and hella awkward conversation, but I think you would probably want to have her keep the harrassment to a minimum... right? ;)

Q: There is a guy that I always flirt with at the bus stop and when we ride the bus together, and he treats me like a princess. But then when  I see him in school he pretends like I don't exist and he never talks to me. What is the deal? - Invisible, via Tumblr

JAAG: Ahh, yes, the alter ego boy. For all we know, this boy may really like you and he is too shy to prove it to you, himself and the world that he does. Give him some time: when you see him in the hallways, give him a small smile to make yourself seem more approachable. Do you share any classes with him? Maybe bring up that nasty book report that you have to turn in next class for English, or maybe an inside joke from Bio. Whatever magic you seem to work on him at the bus stop, try it during lunch or something.
The alternate reason for his strange behaviour could be that he doesn't want to be associated with you in school, which would make him an absolute jerk. Whatever the reason is, ask him about it on the bus. Tell him, "hey, I don't get why we don't talk in school." Watch out for defenses like "We talk plenty" or "You just don't talk to me". If he brings those in, you may want to question whether or not this is a good friend to keep. If he apologizes and gives you what you feel is a valid reason... then maybe this could the beginning of a beautiful friendship.. and possibly more.

Q: There is this guy that I have been so close to for such a long time. His girlfriend broke up with him a couple months ago, and now my friends think that I should date him. I kind of like him too, because I know that he deserves someone a lot better than his ex, and I also know that I can be that better girl for him. The thing is, I know that his ex is out to get me. - The Better Choice for Him, via Tumblr

JAAG: Strange as this may be, I have been the 'ex that is out to get ________" very recently. I'd like to say, in the ex's defense, that it would be kind of frustrating to see an ex treat someone else the way they have never been treated.
To answer your question, ask yourself these questions: Do you really like this guy? What are the qualities that you see in this guy that you value? Is there anything that you dislike about this guy? Are you willing to look past his imperfections? Are you ready for a steady relationship? Is he ready? You should know the answers to these questions before you make an serious decisions, just to avoid future problems and regrets. Whether or not his ex is out to get you is besides the point, but the real question should be, are you out to get his ex? If you are, why are you trying to make her jealous and hate you more? Of course if this is totally way off from your intention, then fine. But make sure that you truly know what you want to date this boy so that you don't break his heart or have anyone after you.

Q: My girlfriend broke up with me because I was too 'clingy'. What does that mean, and do you think  I can get a second chance with her? - Clingy, via Twitter

JAAG: Your ex, like myself, must be an independent person. When a person is too clingy, it means that they are constantly in need of approval from the ones that they love and will constantly follow them around. There are a lot of people that are like that, so you don't need to feel like you are the only one. However, 'clingy' is sometimes the nicer way of saying that people are 'insecure' with themselves.
As for a second chance, I'm probably the wrong person to ask. You should probably ask your ex to see if she will give you one. Sometimes, though, it is better to take the lessons you have learned and turn it into something great so that next time, you know a little more.

Q: This isn't really a relationship question, but would you go lesbian for a really attractive girl? - Curious, via Tumblr

JAAG: First and foremost, let me put it out there that I am not a lesbian, nor do I intend on being one. I would also like to say that I am not against those who are gay and lesbian. I have a couple gay friends and a lesbian friend as well. Also, my ex is bi. So I am freely open to everyone.
To answer your question, I don't really know how to define an 'attractive' girl because I personally am attracted to guys, obviously. I could tell you "That girl is dressed very pretty today" or "She's cute" but I could never be attracted to one because that's just not me. So no, I don't think I'd become as lesbian for an attractive girl because I don't know the first thing about what makes one girl more attractive than another.

Q: Who are your celebrity crushes and why? - via Twitter

JAAG: How did you know that I had more than one?? ;) Well, I think my first and favourite crush would have to be Logan Henderson from Big Time Rush. I like the whole band and find all of them cute, but Logan is by far my favourite. He is really attractive and sensitive.
I also like Irish boy Niall Horan from One Direction! He is different looking from the other boys, and that's probably why I like him so much! Plus, the Irish accent is amazing!
Singer and piano player Josh Groban is yet another one of my celebrity crushes. He's just amazing - I'm always mesmerized by the way he plays, and his voice is like the voice of an angel. He's also funny and just cute. His curly hair just draws me in <3


Anyways, thanks again to everyone for their patience. STAY OUT OF TROUBLE AND DON'T FORGET TO SMILE. There are only about three weeks left of school, let's live it up, and best of luck the Grad 2012! :)

rachelrae xx

Hello, Technicolor Life.

Life is amazing. Life is also incredibly strange, and it can change in an instant.

I'm talking about life in general, here.

Over the weekend I had the greatest encounter with the one soul I should have saved myself for before even considering getting into any serious relationship, and that is one with my Lord and Saviour, Jesus.

I went to Youth Day 2012: Rejoice! (Philipians 4:4) with a couple friends where I learned more about my God and deepened my relationship further with him. As a conference we were so blessed to have musical guest Cooper Ray from Louisiana come and grace us with his wonderful singing talents, as well as bringing his wife Laura with him and his beautiful son Eli to share with us how to make a relationship strong, and that is through Jesus. We were also blessed with Judy Macdonald from California who came to talk to us about joy and what it means in it's truest form. Joy is not happiness; for happiness sometimes is temporary, but true joy lies in God and in God alone, and with God we should be forever joyful.

2 Timothy 4:7 ~ I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.

From here on out, that is my new life mantra. If you can be happy only with God and God alone, then to hell with everything else.

So back to the initial topic. Life really does change in an instant, for better or worse, no one can tell.

Even if bad things do happen, they happen for a purpose.

Here is an example.

Acts 20:24 ~ However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me--the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace.

I was talking to one of my best friends about relationships and when you should pursue one. I told her that honestly, there is always an opportunity to pursue one. You just have to decide whether or not it is the right opportunity to do so.

For me, that has always been my problem. I have a game plan set out, a timeline written out for myself so that I can accomplish what I can. In the end things end up happening and because of my own naivete I fall, faster than I ever have, and then end up screwing things up for myself.

I'm a teenage girl, it happens.

But I get it now. After making this mistake, twice, with one ending off better than another, I know now not to stick my head into the fire a third time. A third time with only make things worse and make me burn even more. I'm not fully healed yet from my last debacle, nor do I think I ever will. I see him every so often with the boys whom I used to call my friends. His parents even turned on me too.

After that relationship talk, it's all clear to me now. Make your intentions clear, and get it right.

Hence, I found this question in my inbox that I found exceptionally close to what I'm talking about..

JAAG, There is this guy who I liked forever that has finally asked me to be his girlfriend. What should I do now? - Fearing for His Love

JAAG: Honestly, I hear that a lot, and truthfully, I've been there. It's really awesome, I know: You're in love with this guy for _____ many years, wanting him to notice you. Then one day it happens: it turns out he returns the feelings that you have held deep in your heart for ______ many years. I get it: it's a magical feeling, like "yes, finally, you love me too!" sorta kinda.

What I have to pose to you is this: Is this relationship that you want to pursue really worth putting into your tangle of life? For me, it wasn't the right time at all, but I went for it anyways. You have to truly tell yourself that you really are ready for something like this. If you are going through a really hard time right now (ie divorce, passing of a family member, fight with a friend, school probs, etc), now would probably not be such a good time to put another thing into the mix. Things get out of hand and pretty soon you will be either fighting with him about sacrifice, or the fact that he won't leave you alone. Trust me, I've been there. I'm kind of regretting the fact that maybe, just maybe, if I had held a firmer ground and said, "No, now is not the right time", then maybe we'd still be able to carry a conversation as opposed to constant staring at each other, silently.

I really don't want that to happen to you. If you were in my shoes, you would understand that it is the worse feeling in the world, being consumed by the sadness of something you started, did and ended, as well as the anger against yourself for not staying true to yourself.

Please, really think it through before you jump into this relationship. It will save you a lot of trouble and time wasted when you do. Best of luck, though! :)

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Anyways, homework beckons. Thanks for listening though! I know I haven't been on for a while; I've been trying to sort out my Tumblr to make it the best it can possibly for the world wide web :) I'll be sure to tackle more questions though the next time I'm up. Also, a shout out to "Fearing for His Love" - I loved answering your question! It made really think long and hard about my life and my mistakes and helped me learn from them. Like I said above, best of luck to you!

Keep your questions coming in, I love answering them! You guys are the reason why I think and the reason why I learn so much. You all teach me so much!

STAY OUT OF TROUBLE AND DON'T FORGET TO SMILE! Remember, follow your heart, but take your brain with you :)

peace out from the bloggerverse,

rachelrae xx

Questions Revisited Again :)

So hey. Haven't written in a while. I guess life keeps you busy, and it just goes on, right? Raaaaiight..
Got some questions that I should answer, shouldn't I? Here we go.. thanks for being so patient! :)

Q: you're blog is so cute - i have a question though. my boyfriend and i have been dating for six months, and i think that i've had enough of him. honestly, its boring. what can i do? should i break up with him or try to make our love last? - via Tumblr

JAAG: Boring, hmm? Honestly, there is really nothing I can say that can make you change your mind, or change the fact that you aren't so in love with the guy like you used to be. My advice would be to go and talk to him, and tell him how you feel. Don't, however, make this one big guessing game for him. It's bad enough that he's a confused guy (face it, between us as girls, we know that boys can sometimes be just as confused about life as we are!) But yeah. You have to get the communication aspect out there. Like I said, no amount of preaching can change the fact that you may or may not be pulling away from the guy. Try to help yourself out by asking yourself how you feel about the whole situation as it stands. Then, talk to him like you've never talked to him before.

Q: I can't get over my girlfriend. what gives? - NOT OVER HER via Twitter

JAAG: Hey, everyone gets like that some days, and let me tell you, I hear you out there. Sometimes it does, especially since at this age, we think that love will last forever and we'll all be happy. Reality is, something is bound to happen, and we should be ready for when it is.
Now, as for how you can get over her, I would say block out everything that reminds you over her - letters, pictures, her number in her phone, a song you both like... ultimately, you'll have to move on some time. Granted, everyone needs time to heal. But this will help you in the long run, I promise. Tell yourself that you aren't going to let the fact that things didn't work out get you down. You got this. Go out somewhere alone, maybe talk a walk, and tell yourself that things are going to get better. And I know they will. :)

Q: I found a guy I like, but I don't know how to approach him and tell him. Thoughts? - via Twitter

JAAG: Hey, we're in the same boat! :P Hahaha, yes, I know how difficult it is to be in your shoes, for I have been there many, many times! I think you should just be genuine, just be yourself around this guy. Don't do anything out of the ordinary, get to know the kid, and don't stalk him, don't pressure him, don't try and cave him in. That might scare him, even if you have the best intentions. I think that it would be best for you to just feel your way around this first and talk to him about his life, his likes and dislikes before you make the dive into *I love you* land. Besides, it's fun having a crush. And I would know, because one time I told a guy flat out that I liked him. Let's just say that things were a tad awkward afterwards... :)

Q: Does it really hurt a girl if I go out with another girl right after we broke up? Some of my friends think I should just so that I can get over the fact that she dumped me, but others say that it's rebounding. What's your take? - via Email

JAAG: My humble opinion reading that: the word "Rebound" is bouncing around inside my brain. Depending on if this girl has a heart (which I'm frankly hoping that she does to some extent), she's going to feel the pinch that her ex is using other girls to rebound off of her. In a way, I would say don't cut yourself off from girls, because girls need guys and vice versa. We put a different spin on things for each other. That being said, don't become overly flirty with girls. I know this is bad on a female standpoint, but girls are overanalytical and we over think things about you guys, things that perhaps aren't true, but it's what we see.
So I would say, yeah, it would hurt her. In my personal experience, I've had guys rebounding off of me, even though we weren't dating. I just told the guy I couldn't date him because I wasn't interested in dating anyone, and he went off and began dating someone else. I never said I didn't like the guy in the way that I did; we were both crushing on each other, but the fact was that the time wasn't right, and he didn't want to wait.
Just watch your actions and how you interact with girls.. and you should be fine. Don't lead anyone on, and just be you.

Q: My boyfriend broke up with me a while ago because she said that there was nothing happening in our relationship. Now he wants to get back together. ??? - The Heck? via Email

JAAG: That is a tricky one. On one hand, you should be running further away because I sense that something is up. He shouldn't have broken up with you in the first place if he thought that, and he definitely shouldn't be so inconsistent. I would talk to him, and ask him exactly why he was being so inconsistent. This is not only somewhat confusing for you, but it could lead to eventually more problems in the future if things don't work out again, and your self-esteem is definitely worth far more than that. And if he gives the reason "Because I love you and I made a mistake", you really have to do your research to see if he really is genuine.. and truly does deserve a second chance at your heart.


For once, I finally cleared out my inbox! But I know that once this goes up I'll get a flood of more questions too, but that's okay, because I enjoy doing this. I'm also glad that you guys like reading it so much!

So yeah, as for life now, things are looking up. I'm finally healing from the wounds that I'll admit are self-inflicted, but everything is going well, thank goodness. And on top of that, I found a new inspiration. I wrote a new song, and I have to say it's one of the best songs I've written in a while. I've been stuck in a rut, and I finally found a new and exciting inspiration. It's called "Falling for Your Innocence", and no, I don't plan on posting it anytime soon. :)

STAY OUT OF TROUBLE AND DON'T FORGET TO SMILE! Report card in hand, now I know.. I should be working harder ;)

Peace and love, and hopefully the Tumblr World will cooperate with me another day,

rachelrae xx

Thank God it's [Good] Friday

Hello everyone! Today is Good Friday, the day my Lord, my Saviour, died on the cross for my salvation and for the salvation of mankind. He extended His arms on the cross so that we might live. I am so blessed to be raised in such a religion and to live in a country where you have freedom of religion. Praise the Lord!

Today will not be a question answer post today. Nope, today will be a recap of life.

So how is everyone this fine evening that God has granted for us today? After a month and a bit since "the incident of all incidents, in my humble opinion", things have begun to look up. Everything seems to be on the better side of things, and I seem to have a slightly better handle on things than I did before.

Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I didn't take the course of action that I did. Would things be different? Would I be a different person? Would we still be able to make the love last, even though in my eyes, we were coming to a close?

I guess there are no regrets. I should know better. I should know what I want, what not to do, and what I should be looking for before I stick my oar into the water. It saves you from a lot of trouble.

Love is forever, if it is with God.

Love is also blind, selfish, and deceitful. You don't realize that maybe, just maybe, the person that you are so in love with is actually the wrong type of person God wants you to be with. You don't realize that until you surrender yourself. It becomes selfish when you are only focussing on yourself and how perfect you want the love to be, by following your own agenda. It deceitful when you think you are doing the right thing, you think you are with the right person, you think that this really is true love, but you have already been deceived.

I hate to admit it, but that used to be me. I recognize that now. I understand that there really is no point in looking for something that does not exist. There is one match for me out there, and I know God has a plan for the two of us. I just can't see it yet.

Instead, focus more on what God wants you to do, instead of what you think God should do for you. It will save you more time to be happy.

This is a song that we were supposed to sing at the service. Unfortunately, too little time, many songs prepared. Oh well, have a listen....

"Above All" (from Youtube) - such a beautiful song. He was here for us, He made us, and He will always be here for us.

Questions next time, I promise you. STAY OUT OF TROUBLE AND DON'T FORGET TO SMILE!

Have a wonderful and blessed Easter everyone!

love,

rachelrae xx

Spring Break Continued...

Oh the joys of staying at home during spring break. Makes you wish you were back at school.. for me, anyways :)

Ever since I answered the last question, I am happy to say that I was bombarded with even more questions! I guess now would be an appropriate time to go back and answer them.. and I also adore the little names you give yourselves.. it makes me feel like a real advice columnist :) Here we go :

Q: So I met this girl at a party and we had a ton of fun, and she called the the day after to talk to me and ask if I wanted to hang out some time. When I met her at the place that she wanted us to meet at, she was not only late but she was with another guy. What gives? - One Night Stand? via email

JAAG: I guess now we know why our parents are so overprotective of us and talking to strangers...
But all joking aside, now you know not to pursue her, because it's just a waste of your time. These are what we like to note as "party hookups" which 95% of the time are just based on sheer highs of fiction and the so called love you thought you shared during that night. Sorry to burst your bubble, but even if you felt like she was the one, she only viewed you as a one night stand.
On the brighter side of things, now you know what you are looking for in a relationship, and what type of girls are worth your time. Obviously this one wasn't, so go find one that will love you back completely.

Q: There is a boy that works at Starbucks that I think is really cute, but I have absolutely no guts to go up and talk to him! Just giving him my order is traumatizing enough! I have a hunch that he is flirting with me too.. but I will never know for sure. What should I do? - Falling for Starbucks, via email

JAAG: I must admit, I laughed a little when I read this because it's so cute! I wish all Starbucks workers were cute, then us girls would all be happy :)
I think you should make an effort to conquer your fear of talking to this boy without stumbling. If what you suspect is true and he is flirting with you, be fearless! Comment on something small first, like the weather or maybe the Starbucks special for the week. Ask his opinion on what reccommends... and suddenly, you find yourself having a smooth conversation with the boy of your dreams.

Q: My girlfriend and I have been dating for only 2 months, but suddenly I feel like things are really boring. What can I do to make things better? - 2 months 2 soon, via Twitter

JAAG: Ask yourself this: Why does it feel like to you that things are "Boring"? If you can answer that, then ask yourself this: Do you really want to continue this relationship, or is this something that you feel that it should end? Would you work hard enough to make things work out for the two of you?
If you want to make things work, then try and do something special for not just you but for her as well: do something spontaneous. Instead of the standard movie and dinner date, set up a picnic in the park or moonlit walk on the beach. Do something daring and different that tells her, "Hey, you're special and I want to share these memories with you."
On the other hand, if you feel like this is too much for you and it's time to pull the plug, then I say sooner than later. Don't lead her on, but don't full out ignore her either to prove a point. Make it a point to talk to her privately to explain how you feel. Tell her that things aren't working out but try not to put the blame on her for this uneventful relationship. Either way, hopefully this works out for you and her!

Q: I broke up with this guy last year, and things have been pretty rocky between us. Now we are back on speaking terms, but I heard from a couple people that he likes me still and wants to get back together with me. The only thing I want from him is to stay friends now that normal has returned. I'm not interested in him anymore like that. What should I do to tell him how I feel? - Not Interested, via email

JAAG: Again I say, better sooner than later. He needs to know how you feel, and he needs to hear it from you and not your friend or his friend or through the rumour mill. Tell him the truth, but keep it concise and to the point. "I want to focus on being friends with you now" is better than "I'm not interested in dating you right now because I want to focus on other things." Obviously no one has the right to force you into liking this guy, but you want to make it known to him that the only thing holding you back from starting a relationship with him is not external influence, but something within you.

Q: I broke up with my girlfriend because I found that she was too clingy. Lately I have found that I'm missing her more. What gives? - Bipolar Dater, via Twitter

JAAG: In my eyes, I see two different types of break ups: the "It's not you, it's me" break up and the "You cheated on me, you selfish idiot" break up. Your break up is probably the first one, which is common.
Usually when a person breaks up with another for the first reason (it's not you, it's me), they will find that now that they are single, the person that they broke up with seems more attractive, and all of a sudden you miss the idea of being in a relationship in general. So maybe it's not really the fact that you miss her, its the idea of you being in a relationship that you miss. This is understandable, but it doesn't to happen to everyone. For example, one time I broke up with someone and I missed the idea of being in a relationship, and I missed the guy. Another time I broke up with someone and after the break up, I felt more liberated than ever before. Different people leave different impressions on their once significant others.
The other break up leads one to feel totally liberated that they aren't with the selfish person holding them down from living their life the way they want to. In that circumstance, no one is really missed. Well, maybe the one that cheated will realize how wrong they were in the end...
In conclusion, you broke up with her for a reason. That's totally understandable. Now your task is this: 1) don't get a rebound, because its not fair to that person; and 2) don't be inconsistent. Sure, you could still be friends with this girl, but if you find that you are flirting with her and sending her texts like you did in the past to lead her on, STOP. It's not fair to her. This isn't to say that maybe somewhere down the road you will both be given a second chance.. but I think you should both cool down from this relationship before either of you go find another potential soulmate.. or get back together with each other.

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oh, and one other question that I found totally random and totally unrelated to questions that I usually see in m inbox...

Q: JAAG, are you bi? - Just Curious, via Twitter

JAAG: *tries to stop laughing*
Ahem.
Well, no. I have friends that are both guys and girls. I am romantically attracted to guys, and I never really have been romantically attracted to girls. Of course, girls seem to act more bi than guys. I love hugs and yes, I tend to use the word "love" a lot.. but yeah. I have nothing against people with that orientation, but I don't personally feel that way for girls.
My question is, why the curiousity? :P

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Anyways, there are some questions for you to pore over. Enjoy the spring break while it lasts, its creeping up on us and its going to come to a close real soon unfortunately..

STAY OUTA TROUBLE AND DON'T FORGET TO SMILE! Here is some music for you to listen to...

I have a new found love for the British boy band One Direction. Enjoy, all you Directioners out there :)

love and such,

rachelrae xx

Questions, for me, about me?...

Good morning everyone~! I begin a four day weekend today, and after this weekend, I have four weeks of uninterrupted school. Yay...

So this was interesting.. I was checking my email and there were people asking me questions (seems normal enough..) but when I actually read through them one, two, three times, it turns out that they were asking quesitons about me and my life! I also got a couple from the Twitterverse as well.. let's see how this pans out :) of course this is all left anonymous.. to the rest of the world, that is :)

1. What do you look for in a guy.. or are you a girl looking for a girl? - via Twitter

JAAG: BAHAHAHAHA.. LOL I can tell you for sure that I gave my blog the domain name it currently has for a reason.. because I am a legit girl. What I look for in a guy are three things: Respect, Catholicism, and Responsibility. Being cute and funny is a total bonus, but I would prefer dating someone who was Catholic. Jesus is my number one, after all :)

2. Why did you come up with this blog? - via Twitter

JAAG: Honestly? This blog started out as an outlet for me to post my thoughts and post random music and bits for myself since all my friends were on Tumblr. I got a Tumblr too, but eventually it locked me out. I tried again but then I was like, "Whatever" and ditched it. Eventually some of my friends got hold of it and sent me questions about their relationship problems.. and then other people caught onto it.. and here we are in the present day. You guys are the reason for this blog.

3. What do you like to listen to in terms into music? - via Twitter

JAAG: Wow, that is probably a really difficult question for me to answer. I like a lot of different stuff. Here, I'll list some: Big Time Rush, Faber Drive, Marianas Trench, One Direction, Scouting for Girls, The Classic Crime, Simple Plan, Breaking Benjamin, Hedley, Red Jumpsuit Apparatus.. as you can tell I like boy bands. I also like Theo Tams, Michael Buble, Lady Antebellum, Katy Perry, Matthew Morrison, Rihanna, Taylor Swift.. There isn't a certain genre of music that I put myself under, I just like listening to stuff.

4. How would you describe your sense of style? - via BloggerMail

JAAG: When I was 11, 12 ish, I used to be obsessed with labels. Now being older, I know how stupid that kinda is, and I'm stuck with 1/3 of a wardrobe filled with stuff from various brand name stores. I really like shopping overseas or getting stuff from Richmond. Being Asian, I really like the idea of "Asian Influence" in my clothes, with a bit of North American pieces in my clothes. My favourite piece of clothing in my wardrobe right now would have to be my pink faux-leather jacket.

5. What do you like to do for fun? - via Twitter

JAAG: Contrary to Internet belief, I actually do enjoy blogging here for you guys. It's always interesting to answer your guys' questions. I also like to write songs and play the guitar and piano. When I'm not in a musical mood, I like to read magazines. Most of the time I end up doing homework :)

well that was quite interesting! keep those questions coming, and don't forget to stay out of trouble and don't forget to smile! cheers!

rachelrae xx

Sorry for the delay - now onto the Questions of the Day!

Well, first off, I believe this is the first post of the new year, is it not? HAPPY 2012 EVERYONE!

Sorry I haven't written in so long... coming back from Christmas vacation I was expecting a lot of catch up.. but opening up my email I never would have expected close to 4 whole pages of new questions!

So let's go through these, see how many we can go through, shall we? ;)
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1) How far is too far with my girlfriend? She wants to go all the way, and I want to too, but I don't want to regret anything. - via email

JAAG: Firstly, if you are asking that question with hesitation, this shows that even you yourself don't really know what you want out of this relationship. If you really loved her and you really did want to go all the way with her, then you wouldn't have second thoughts about doing something that you regret because you know she is the one. Of course, with us adolecents being at such a young age, it's hard to know whether or not we really did find true love. 8 times out of 10, the love you find in high school won't be the one you end up walking down the aisle with 10, 15 years into the future.
Secondly, if you are having doubts, I think you should talk to her about it. Please remember, though: what you are wanting to do is something permanent and cannot be erased. The best protection against a future that you may not be ready for is to not do anything at all and wait. That is my personal moral view on this. of course, I can't stop you from doing what you want, but seriously: if you have doubts, you might need to go back to the drawing board to see what's up. You could save yourself from a potential heartbreak if you find the source immediately.

2) JAAG, there is this guy that I have like forever, but he never liked me back. Now, there is this new girl in my grade, and two weeks in she is already making out with the guy of my dreams. Is he just a jerk or am I just too in love with him to see his flaws? - via email

JAAG: you do realize that both of your questions at the end of your email there both mean the same thing, right? ;) But that's not the point, I guess...
Well, let me be the first to tell you that I have also felt that jealousy too. This is a guy that you have dreamed of dating, the perfect prince to be part of your perfect fairytale. But maybe you have been so busy fantasizing the endless possibilities on how he could sweep you off yoru feet when you should be focussing on the fact that he likes to discriminate against people who are not on the basketball team. If you yourself are a strong believer of anti-bullying, then this should be a big warning sign telling you to drop the crush because he is a jerk. I don't want to make efalse accusations about the girl, either, but it seems to me like they are pretty happy with each other, maybe because they are both jerks themselves (too late :P) any how, MOVE ON. You'll be happier, I promise, when you find someone that likes you back for who you are.

3) I want to introduce my girlfriend to my parents, but everytime I have a free date, she comes up with an excuse. The first couple times, I got that she had a dentist appointment or had to go visit her grandmother in the hospital, but tutoring her sister? She doesn't have a sister! What does all this mean? - via email

JAAG: My mother gave me one important advice when I first told her about my first crush: "When things get really serious, bring him home. If he genuinely wants to meet us, then you can see how much he wants to be a part of your life. However, if he is avoiding the topic of family altogether, then that should be a red flag right there."
OKAY. So she is avoiding the topic of, 'hey, I want you to meet my family..' with absolutely terrible ninja skills. Here's the thing: maybe she is just nervous (that is the absolute weakest benefit of the doubt right there). So ask her. Ask her why she is avoiding this topic (you can start along the lines of, 'I know for a fact that you don't have a sister to tutor...) and gage her response. If you can tell that she is bluffing, maybe you should set up a time for the two of you to understand each other a little more. Ask her why she is doing this to you. Of course, this could lead to a) her telling you that she is sorry for lying, she's actually quite scared of meeting your parents, and you guys will go on saturday; or b) you find out that she has been cheating on you.
From one extreme to another, that's how it will play out. I must say though, unfortunately, option b) is the more likely one. Usually people coming up with lame excuses to avoid something usually means that something is up. Check out the situation, and best of luck!

4) there is this girl that is terribly desperate. she is constantly throwing herself at me and trying to draw all attention to herself. I don't really like her (correction: not at all). how can I politely decline her? - via email

JAAG: This is a tricky situation. How ironic though, for me to be listening to David Archuleta's 'Desperate' on my Windows Media Player while writing this answer out for this question... hmm...
Well, if you genuinely don't like her, I don't think that it is fair for either of you to be in an awkward situation. Go talk to her in private. Tell her, 'Hey, I think you're a nice girl and everything, but I think we would be better off friends.' That will tell her, somewhat indirectly, that you don't share the same feelings for her as she does. But please, don't do this in front of her friends. Catch her alone, make straight eye contact with her, and avoid anything like a hug of consolation or even touching her hand/shoulder, etc. Your words will hit her, but any unnecessary touch to her will lead her to believe that you are lying to her and that now, she should try harder. Make your intent clear, keep your hands in your pockets, and speak with a polite but firm voice. Good luck!

5) My mom doesn't understand my boyfriend. He is really into all the punk music and dresses in all black leather and studs. She thinks that he is a gangster, when really he is the type that wouldn't hurt a fly. How can I convince her to give him a chance? - via email

JAAG: The best way would be to convince both your mom and your boyfriend that you should all have dinner together. Invite him over, and tell your mom that he really wants to meet her. If this is all successful, then when the conversation starts, try to  steer clear of the topic of his clothes or taste of music off to the side for later when both your boyfriend and your mom are warmed up. If the topics ever do come up (which you should prep your boyfriend about), stay calm and don't start hallucinating. Let your boyfriend handle this and just watch from the sidelines. Hopefully your cutie will be able to help your mom see a different side of him!
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The snow has returned, somewhat. Life is also somewhat back to normal.

My @JAAG twitter got an @reply the other day: @JAAG how is everything doing with your beau?

And here is my response to that: Things are okay. They aren't the best, but things will get better. I learned this from listening to Matthew Morrison's "Still Got Tonight" : "It's gonna get much harder / before it gets better baby that's for sure.."
I think with anything, there has got to be a low point somewhere before you realize how special what you have is. Like anything, you don't realize what you got until it's gone.

So yeah.

Anyhoo, thisis me answering five more of your ever so complex questions. Keep sending them in and hopefully I'll get to them one day :) Also, Rest in Peace Tessa. You are greatly loved and will be missed.

STAY OUT OF TROUBLE AND DON'T FORGET TO SMILE. You are all the reason that I still can manage my sanity with all your crazy questions.. ;)

love etc,
rachelrae xx

three non-relationship related questions ! :D

hello fellow readers!

well, the Christmas season is drawing near, and we are only a couple days away from the big day!

When I opened my inbox the other day, I was surprised to find three questions that weren't related to relationships, surprisingly enough! LOL you guys are so cute :) Let's tackle them, shall we?

Q: My parents just got a divorce, and they are forcing me and my sister to choose sides. What should I do? I love them both equally, but I can't live like this! - via Email

JAAG: This is a sad situation, I must say, but not to worry. I think it will be beneficial for you and your sister to sit BOTH of your parents down and tell them that you love them both equally. Maybe make a compromise: you and your sister will stay over with each parent once every other week, (mom the first week of the month, the following week at dad's, and so on and so forth). See how this works out first, and hopefully this will make everything easier and less stressful.

Q: I want to apply for a job, but my parents both think that I am not responsible enough. I'm 16! What more do they need? - via Email

JAAG: Oh, the constant struggle of showing our parents how responsible we are. What you can start by doing is taking on extra chores (yes, extra chores), doing what you are told, and helping out your parents doing whatever they need help with. Maybe this will open their eyes to show them that 'Yes, I'm ready to take on more!' Also, keep on top of homework and maybe try to go for more leadership roles in school. That way, not only your parents but other people will see that you are ready for bigger things too!

Q: Recently I've been feeling really sad all the time. Is this normal? - via Twitter

JAAG: No, it's completely normal. Everyone has down days sometimes, some people more than others. Heck, even the girl giving you all advice has down days. I must admit though, I can relate to you. I think that you can combat this by surrounding yourself with people who make you feel good about yourself as opposed to people that bring you down. Distract yourself by doing things you love, and remember, never hold back your emotions. Talking to someone you trust will make you feel better, I promise you. Best of luck to you with this!

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And of course, I couldn't resist answering at least one more relationship question for you all!..

Q:  Hi JAAG! I have a big problem: I dated this guy for about 6 months and then he broke up with me. Then, a month after, I jumped into a new relationship with this other guy that I didn't know very well. I had no idea that my new boyfriend is total enemies with my ex! Now my ex is jealous and is trying to win me back. This is a huge love triangle that I want out of STAT. What should I do? - via Email

JAAG: Ahh, the Love Triangle.. this is a tricky one. Well, you can learn a couple things from this scenario called your life:
- your ex? he's a jerk. Thank goodness you broke up with him in the first place. If he is super jealous of you after he broke up with you? IMMATURE. you're too good for him.
- This just goes to show that it helps to get to know someone first before you begin to date someone.
- If your boyfriend now doesn't bash your ex, then we know that he is mature. If he does bash your ex, then we know that he is also mature.
So, I think that to salvage this situation, ignore your ex. Continue to have the relationship you wanted with your new boyfriend. If, however, your new boyfriend is trying to make this an all out competition with your ex, then honey, I'm terribly sorry, but you can't let either of them win. They have to both lose out, because someone as special as you shouldn't have to deal with crappy boyfriends like these. Also, get to know guys first before you date them! Good luck! :)


so yeah, these are quite the interesting questions. I have to say though, I won't be here for a while to answer your questions, but don't fret, I will be back soon in early January! Continue to send in your questions, and I will answer them ASAP. Best of luck to all of you in your unique and interesting lives, and also, have a MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!

STAY OUT OF TROUBLE AND DON'T FORGET TO SMILE! Here's to a new year of amazingness and being unique and ourselves!

love and et cetera,

rachelrae xx

You've all given me a ton to think about!

The end of the school year ended today :) quite exciting, it's already Christmas!

Also, even though I answered 5 more questions my last post, ever since then my email was flooded with even more questions! you people have very interesting lives, I must say. Also, it is interesting to read some of these: now you guys are moving on from strictly relationship to more complex things. Is this a full blown advice column or what? Let me know, and I can make changes accordingly in the new year :)

Here we go, let's tackle five more of these questions!

Q: There are two guys that I like. One I have known for pretty much ever but he doesn't seem to get the point that friendship means that we are there for each other. The other guy is a new guy at my school: I just met him but he strikes me as a really nice guy. plus, when I talk to him I feel as if I have known him forever. I'm in love with both of them... but who should I go for? - via Email

JAAG: This is a situation that hits home, not just because I have dealt with feelings like that before as well but also because I know friends who feel the same way you do, so don't worry, it's not an uncommon feeling. I guess you should stay true to yourself and what you believe that you want to see in a boyfriend in your future. You should stay away from people who don't keep their promises or can't help you back onto your feet when you are down. Look for people who believe in you and respect you for who YOU are. If you do, then you will find that you are much, much happier.

Q: There is this guy that I don't like AT ALL, but he makes fun of me all the time. He is constantly bullying me and I have no idea what to do about it. I am really really mad at him. -via Email

JAAG: Hey, I've dealt with jerks like that too, so I can definitely help you with this.
Firstly, don't contain your anger. Talk it out with people that you trust. Vent to them about how you feel. Then, I would suggest for you to go and talk to this guy. He needs to be put in his place, and you can do that by telling him how you feel and how he offends you. If you tell him and he shows no remorse and (worse) continues to bully you, go tell a trusted adult or administration. Bullying doesn't belong in any area and should never be directed to anyone. Make sure that you don't hold in your anger to yourself too long, or else you might face an emotional break down. With a strong suppport system, you will be able to weather this storm fine. Good luck!

Q: How can I ask a guy out? -via Twitter

JAAG: Unlike the above two questions, I have no expertise in this field because no one has ever asked me out nor have I ever asked anyone out. What I can offer, however, is to just be yourself and friendly. If you really like a guy and you want them to fall for the real you, be genuine. Don't be the girl that laughs at random football jokes that you don't understand just because he is the quarterback of the team. Show him that you are good at bio and that you love dissecting frogs, and don't settle for anything less!
As for asking him out, start it off as a group activity. Maybe you and a couple friends are going to watch that new action flick coming out. Casually mention it to him and leave it open, giving him a chance to back out or think about it before commiting. After a couple of these activities, it will really show if he is the one for you... and if you still like him that way.

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well, like I said above, Christmas is coming so so so so so soon!  I can't wait, can you??

STAY OUT OF TROUBLE AND DON;T FORGET TO SMILE! Merry Christmas and have a safe and happy New Year!

love,
rachelrae xx

Questions revisited :)

Hello everyone! December already, hmm?... can't believe how fast time flies.

Well last post I promised some questions to be answered right? let's tackle them now, shall we? ...

Q: JAAG, there is this guy that is constantly hitting on me. the thing is, i like him but i really don't want to return the romance. any thoughts on how to get this guy off my back? - via Email

JAAG: LOL, that happens to us all at one point in time or another, myself included. what I can give you is that you should let things be. Don't be overly harsh just to tell him that he isn't worth your time, but at the same time, monitor your behaviour around him. Yes, YOUR behaviour. are you touchy feely with him a lot or maybe laugh at jokes that really aren't that funny that he says? if you are, you could be potentially leading him on for no apparent reason and no intention of dating him. Just be yourself and be natural, and hopefully things will go a lot more smoothly for you.

Q: any tips on how to be a better flirt? - via Twitter

JAAG: okay there. i think that the question you meant to ask was, "any tips on how to be a better person that more people will appreciate?" being a flirt isn't all that difficult, but what makes it difficult is that you end up with less than you started out with. what i mean is, being a flirt may get you so far, but after that, there is no substance to what you say or your actions. by being a genuine person who is not superficial or fake and definitely NOT a flirt, you will see that more people, guys and girls alike, will accept you for who you are. it also makes it easier for people to fall for the real you and not a second rate, fake version of you.

Q: there is this guy in the drama club that constantly flirts with me, but when i see him outside of drama club, he acts all haughty and arrogant. why is that? - via email

JAAG: well, let me start off by saying that maybe, just maybe, but don't hold this to me... that maybe he likes you. i take it that maybe he doesn't have that many of his manly guy friends in drama club, and when he is around them, he wants to show them who is boss and who is in charge in this so called 'relationship'. if you think that nah, he doesn't like me, then this guy is a big jerk. call him out on it when you see him in drama club. ask him what the deal is. if he acts all innocent but his alter ego comes out when he leaves the drama club walls, then you know that this guy is definitely not worth your time, and you should move onto the tenor in the club who can't get enough of reading Macbeth. good luck!

Q: How do i tell my boyfriend of three months that it's over? - via Twitter

JAAG: that always hurts, especially if he is the one that still believes in the relationship. I can't tell you how to break up with him, but I can offer some guidelines:
1) Be honest and to the point. It's hard enough for you and for him, so don't beat around the bush with it by trying to soften the blow. tell him nicely, but don't drag it on for the whole lunch hour. make it concise and then leave him alone so that he can absorb the information.
2) Privacy is the best policy. Even though you may need one of your girls for moral support, really, it's showing diesrespect to him. Pull him away from the group gently, and tell him what you need to say. and never do it in front of his friends.
3) NEVER DO THIS OVER EMAIL, FACEBOOK, TWITTER, OR TEXT. as hard as it might be, face to face not only brings you more merit and is more honest, it shows the guy that you are no chicken and you aren't backing out of this the easy way. a phone call is okay but not the best or the most respectful.
I hope these points help. good luck to you with this!

Q: I broke up with my boyfriend a month ago. Now everytime I see him, I think back to when we were together. Sometimes when we talk together I feel myself flirting with him! do you think it was wrong of me to break up with him in the first place? should I get back together with him? - via BloggerMail

JAAG: wow, two questions in one! firstly, congratulations to you and your ex for making things not as awkward and being able to carry a conversation with him despite your past. I can't tell you whether or not it was necessarily wrong of you to break up with him, it's all up to you. Maybe you catch yourself flirting with him because you know him and it's a comfortable spot that you relaxed back into. ask yourself why you broke up with him in the first place, and see if what he does, etc, still bothers you.
secondly, talk to him and be honest with him and yourself. tell him how you feel. If you both think that maybe it was a mistake, then maybe there is a chance for a second romance. i must warn you though: if you break up again, third time usually is not a charm in this case. you may be better off moving on after that point.

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AIIGHTS. thanks again for all of your amazingly difficult but interesting questions! next post will definitely have more to be answered.

well, exam week has just ended. i have another exam tomorrow (sob sob sob!) but after that, it will be free fallling for me. as a matter of fact, I should be studying for that three hour test but NO, I'm answering your questions instead :) oh well. we have a music concert tonight! wish me luck, I have a jazz solo!

if i don't write back within the next couple weeks, I would like to personally wish you and yours a very happy holidays, a peaceful and relaxing Christmas and a prosperous New Year!

STAY OUT OF TROUBLE AND DON'T FORGET TO SMILE! Cheers to everyone in the New Year!

love,

rachelrae xx

what do you do when you can't answer some of the questions that you are asked?

that is the question that i asked myself when i was looking through my email inbox the other day. you all have such unique circumstances and interesting questions that sometimes, i feel like you should ask someone else and NOT ME!

of course, i really don't want to lose you guys. you are all cool and teach me new things about myself whenever i read your questions or comments :)

sometimes i think you guys have waaay too much on your mind. just breathe and you will be fine.

so anyways, why all the random banter? can it be because i haven't answered your questions yet?
yes, perhaps so :)

it's not like i don't want to, its because you people are crazy. and are quite random. but love you all the same!

also, today is Random Acts of Kindness day. go hug someonee for me, will ya? i already have ;)

STAY OUT OF TROUBLE AND DON'T FORGET TO SMILE! :)

love, and hopefully with some answers soon,

rachelrae xx

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

Hello universe. today's post will be a little different.. to be honest with all of you, I haven't checked my email or my Twitter for any questions. If you have a burning question, I'm sorry in advance... I have been so busy lately, but never fear... I promise, next post with be Q and A central :)

So, that is the classic childhood (and hey, maybe even now) question that most adults ask you when you just met them, you haven't seen them in a while or just to break the ice.

When I was three, I remember that my dream was to become a princess when I grew up.

Then, as I gained more knowledge, I realized that probably wasn't going to happen. At 7 I told people that I wanted to be a singer and sell millions of albums and do concerts worldwide.

I grew up and gained more knowledge. 12 years old: lawyer, hoping to get into Harvard.

Now I'm here. 15, and wanting to be a high school teacher. That, or be a successful journalist.

So why all the sudden thinking about this topic? Recently in my Planning 10 class I was given an assignment to investigate what schools offer a program that I could do to get my undergrad and possibly graduate degree in whatever profession/stream I chose.

One weekend, 10 hours, hundreds of webpages and thousands of Google searches later, I came up with two schools. And this is only for one profession (I had to investigate two professions... and btw, this project is worth 50 marks and heavily weighted... yikes.)

Basically, the question that everyone could answer without blinking when they were 5 is now the most difficult question to answer. This is our future we're talking about.

Another question would be what school you would like to go to. Harvard was my number one choice at 12 years old.

Now? It's looking more like Kwantlen or Langara for an undergrad degree. I would be laughing (and terribly lucky) if i got into UBC, SFU, or UVic or something like that.

I saw a really good school in Ottawa - Carleton University, that has an amazing journalism program. Now, there is a dream worth dreaming...

So yeah. This journey called 'life' has just gotten more complicated.

But I can't complain: life is good. My wonderful friend that is a boy who is more than what that reads is amazing. school is going well, family life is going well, and everything is splendid. Also, I have some of the best readers there are, so that's a bonus.

I was told today to value your childhood and teenage years. I think there is some important advice to heed :)

STAY OUT OF TROUBLE AND DON'T FORGET TO SMILE! Best of luck to my schools JV football team on their game tomorrow :)

Lots of love,

rachelrae xx

Thanks to all your awesome comments and ideas! :)

if you haven't noticed i seem to have a lot of time on my hands. this is probably why i am posting so regularly time and time again now (: but it's good! i get to reach out to all you lovely people.

so when i asked you all the question (that i posted, i believe, two posts ago?) i asked what you all thought about the whole situation. i got a lot of response, mostly through email etc.. some of it was pretty darn good, and i think that some of you could be better than me at this job. who wants to take over? :P

some of the stuff was quite insightful. also, for privacy, i will leave it all anonymous... but thank you, whoever you are, for all this new insight!

"Let time take it's course and see where you two end up. Who knows, you might end up marrying him... or marrying your current bf." - via Twitter

"I don't think that you should let him off the hook so easily. Don't bottle up the emotions inside! Tell him how you feel, but be impartial.. I have a feeling that the friendship you two share is too good to give away!" - via email

"Tell him off and tell him to get lost. He's not worth it!" - via email

"Is it okay if I smack him for you? You're too good of a blogger to let someone like him weigh you down!" - via email

"Who knows? Your paths might cross again." - via Twitter

"If he is too finicky then and now and can't make his mind up, watch out world: this guy is a player!" - via Twitter

"You should both set aside your feelings and try to mend your friendship. Right now, I'm getting the vibe that he really needs a friend."

"His friendship isn't worth your time. You can do so much better, and now, especially that you have a boyfriend... MAKE HIM SUFFER!!!!!" - via email


LOL, everyone. these are only a few of what i got from all of you. i posted these ones because they were insightful, my favourite or made me laugh. some of them were quite sweet, but you all are just like me: very, very undivided in terms of where to go with my friendship with him. the first one though was very very wise, however: "Let time take it's course". i think i found a winner, ladies and gentlemen. the JAAG will now let the universe take hold of the situation.

the last one that i put there, about the suffering, made me laugh the hardest. also, cheers to the person that said that my tweets to my boyfriend were 'cute'. ;)

this is a random song that i started listening to, entitled "Diary of Jane" by Breaking Benjamin. it's hard core rock and i like it very much :)

well that's it from me :)  STAY OUT OF TROUBLE AND DON'T FORGET TO SMILE! i pray that no one got any cavities from excessive candy snacking last night? ;)

love from the world wide web and beyond,
rachelrae xx