Wow, it sure has been a while since I came onto here. So let me be the first to wish you all a happy belated new year and the fact that I'm so so so sorry that I haven't posted or answered questions in so long!

So what is up with the world today? 2013 is already one month down. Can you believe how in credibly fast time flies? Because I can't.

Meanwhile, to make up for some lost time, here are some questions that I have pulled from my Tumblr/Twitter/email to answer today...

Q: So this guy and I have been dating for a really, really long time, and now recently he has been pressuring me to do things that I'm not comfortable with. It's never been a problem before but now he's just been pushing limits and taking advantage of me. Help! - via Tumblr

JAAG: Girl, you need to stand your ground! The reason why this guy and yourself have held on for so long is because you both understood the meaning of respect. Now this guy has supposedly "grown up" with you by his side and now he wants to test the waters. Talk to him and tell him taht you aren't comfortable with what he is asking of you, and if he truly loves you, he will respect you and wait until you are ready too. However, it should be an easy fix if he doesn't respect you. It would be a shame since he understood the idea at first and now he doesn't, but you don't need people like that in your life. Take this as an opportunity to do what you want and hang out with people that make you feel happy and comfortable.

Q: I don't know which guy to pick. There is one guy who is on the football team who is crazy smart but he's popular, but I have a couple classes with him and he's super nice and we talk all the time, online and offline. The other guy is this guy that I have been friends with since kindergarten and he has always been there for me. Sometimes I tell him about the football guy and I kinda feel like he is jealous of him, but I'm not sure. I love them both but I'm not sure of who to go for. Any advice? - via Tumblr

JAAG: There is a phrase that goes a little something like this: "With two crushes, if you really loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second one". Now, from experience, I know how hard it is to pick and choose who to go after and who to leave behind. I have fallen victim of multiple crushes also! But you want to make sure that you are being realistic with who you are crushing on and not wasting time on someone who isn't showing any interest in you. These two both sound like excellent guys, but let your heart decide. Don't have your mind set on the ideal boyfriend or compare the two against each other; rather, let your friendship take hold and see where it leads you. This might be frustrating at first, but only time will tell whether you choose the football player, the best friend, or someone else! There are so many guys out there to choose from...don't cut yourselves down to just those two.

Q: I haven't had my first kiss yet, and I'm scared of what will happen. - via Twitter

JAAG: I wish I could write up step by step instructions on how to have the perfect first kiss or tell you exactly what to do. The problem is, everyone is different. The media and pop culture isn't really reliable because all the kisses, the "perfect" kisses are all staged and honestly, quite fake and done by professional actors. A kiss done by ordinary humans is entirely up to you. Don't be scared! Just go with it, and if I can offer one piece of advice? Make sure you know where the other person's head is tilting, just to avoid any head injuries. :)

Q: Does it hurt to do it? - via Twitter

JAAG: While I get over the initial shock, I'll have to be honest with you: I haven't done it yet either. So I can't tell you if it hurts or stuff like that. You are better off checking with a doctor... I'm so sorry :( But remember: don't pressure yourself into doing anything you don't want to!
\
Q: There is this girl that is in my French class. She is really pretty, super talented, and all my friends think that I'm obessesed with her. How can I convince them, and my friends, that I'm not? - via Tumblr

JAAG: Here are a couple things to ask yourself to see if you are a) crushing b) majorly crushing or c) obsessing:
1. Do you know her entire schedule by heart?
2. Can you pretty much state three places that she could be at lunch, without fail?
3. Do you offer to do favours for her in terms of homework, helping out, etc.?
4. Do you go through all her social media streams more than once a day?
5. Have you had an actual conversation with her? (for this one, answering yes is the better answer)
6. Do you know all her likes and dislikes?
7. Do you have a tendency to watch from afar.. and then follow from a distance?
8. Do you know about every single ex boyfriend she had?
9. Have you questioned what she is like in bed?
10. Have you fantasized about her more than once?
The more often you answered yes (not including number 5) will show if you are crushing or obsessed. Sure, it's okay to know about a person's schedule, but don't use that to map out exactly how you are going to "accidentally" meet up with her and try to strike up random conversation. Instead, while this may sound cliche, just be yourself! If she doesn't like you for who you are, then even if both began dating, you would be a pushover in that relationship. Stay strong and divert your attention towards someone who will care about you.

OKAY WELL THAT"S A WRAP! <3 I hope you all find some sort of solace in this :)

STAY OUT OF TROUBLE AND DON'T FORGET TO SMILE! <3

rachelrae xx

Exams are Finally Over!

Thank goodness, exams are finally over! I can finally kick back, relax, and actually talk to you guys!

Okay, so just in case this is the last post before the end of the world (which btw, I think is totally bogus and not real, so don't you worry your little heads off), i just want to say: I LOVE YOU GUYS! <3 thanks for reading my wonderful blog <3

Alright, here were some outstanding questions that I never got around to answering... I'm so sorry for the delay, guys. I really didn't mean to take so long. It's just all that studying, and my gosh, getting those marks back today after the fact.... *stupid, stupid, stupid mistakes!*

Q: Do you believe in 'flirtationships'? - via Twitter

JAAG: I break it down this way:  a relationship is when you and another person are totally in love with each other and you guys make time for each other and your own things so much so that you aren't smothered by each other and you aren't following one another around. There is trust and love, but no obsession. A friendship is when you are just good friends with someone, no romantic interests, no strings attached. You genuinely love that person but not in a romantic way. A flirtationship? Somewhere in between. I find that sometimes I flirt with guys because honestly, even though its a bad thing, it's my autopilot. There are some guys that I will flirt with more than others because they are cute or maybe, they are flirting back too. I know its a bad habit because I may be leading someone on, but in the event that this person has made it clear that they are not ready to get into a relationship and I have told myself that I don't like this person, well, there you have a flirtationship :)

Q: How can I be sure that my boyfriend is the one? We've been dating for three years during high school and now we are still dating and its our first year of university. First term is over but we are still madly in love. Do you think he is the one? - via Tumblr

JAAG: You will have to answer that one yourself, my friend! I think that it's really awesome that you and your boyfriend have been able to hold a relationship this long even though you both are going through so many different changes in your lives. But one thing you will have to confront is whether or not this love will last. For your sake, I personally hope that you two last forever and get married and start a family together. But be warned, something could happen and you may find yourself a single chick. Remember that now that you are out of high school you aren't restricted to the bounds of the classroom. You are a woman now, a woman who is capable of dating anyone you want. It's great that you two are able to work it out. As long as you two still love each other and are willing to sacrifice anything for each other, I would say that you have found yourself a winner. Best of luck!

Q: My parents want me to stop dating this girl because she is affecting my school work. I don't think that she is the problem though. How can I prove to them that she isn't? - via Twitter

JAAG: Ask yourself this: Are you spending so much time with her outside of school, so much time Facebooking or texting her that you can't get your assignments done on time? If this is so, then maybe you may need to rethink your homework location. In order to show your parents that you aren't obsessed with this girl (which you may or may not), start by cleaning up your act. Get those assignments in on time and finish your homework. Hand in any outstanding projects that you haven't done yet. Know that the faster you get your work done, the faster you can have free time to talk to your girl. Hopefully you aren't too hung onto her; remember, girls need space and time to do their homework too! :)

Q: Is there anything you can suggest on how to break up with my boyfriend? he has been following me around a lot lately, after I told him that I need space. He is suffocating me and I can't stand it. Help! - via Tumblr

JAAG: I've been in your situation, so I think I can help you out. The only thing I can't do for you is breaking up with the guy. That is something that you will have to sort out on your own. What I can offer is this: maybe try talking to the guy one more time. Make clear your expectations on how much time you want to hang out and that sometimes, you want to chill with your girls too. Give him a week to settle into this  new ideal. If he still isn't getting it, you will have to kiss this boy good bye. Unfortunately, I realize that some boys (especially if it's their first relationship) can get really clingy. Communicate what you want to see at first, but if it doesn't happen, then talk to him. Make it clear and to the point that you want to break up with him; don't beat around the bush. And if there is one thing that I have learned after all this time, don't try and plan out what you are going to say. Chances are, you are only going to say 15% of what you meant to say, and the rest, well, it came out of nowhere. I hope that everything works out for you!

******And finally, this question that I found so amusing....*****
Q: Is it true that you have a new celebrity crush? I just realized that there are less and less of pictures of Logan Henderson on your Tumblr :$ - via Tumblr

JAAG: Well, "you got me"! (that's a Jimmy Fallon quote) :) Logan Henderson and the boys of Big Time Rush are never far away from my heart, I still watch their show and still love their music and sing along, but recently I have fallen for Jimmy Fallon, the best Late Night host EVER. If you have never watched his show, I suggest that you YouTube it or tune in (record it, of course! The show airs incredibly late!) He is just so funny, an amazing singer, and his jokes are really good. He is nice and loveable and really, really attractive. Just saying :) My Tumblr has now been invaded by him. #likeaboss

There you have it ! The first snowfall happened in my town today, and I'm not sure if I want a snow day tomorrow or not. Probably not, though.

Also, keep praying for the victims of the Newtown, Conneticut shooting. All the children in the town have returned to school but I'm sure that parents, teachers and students alike have a new sense of fear when going to school. I am so lucky that it hasn't happened here in my town, but I know that it could happen. I wish nothing but the best for all the residents of Newtown and all the families of the victims.

Christmas spirit for you guys! I just watched the NBC Michael Buble Christmas special. Here is an original song by him, "Cold December Night". It's gorgeous! <3

<3 <3 Enjoy!

STAY OUT OF TROUBLE AND DON'T FORGET TO SMILE! If I'm not on here again, I hope that everyone has a lovely Christmas and a wonderful New Year! And also that the world doesn't end... just yet... :)

love,

rachelrae xx

Just Haven't Blogged in 5Ever

So this is how it is? IT'S NOVEMBER.

I believe the last time I was here, I was raving about my one and only, the only person I can't have... Mr. Fallon Sir ;)

But yeah, I'm sorry for being so negligent. Tumblr URL has changed, and I'll be sure to change my sidebar :)

I already love the song "Your Body" by Christina Aguilera, but seeing this on LNJF was gold. Love it even more.. and the Roots are always amazing :)

So I was looking through my email, and now I feel even worse because I haven't been answering questions in so long! Feel so bad... but this Saturday, expect another update. I promise, promise, promise <3

HERE WE GO AGAIN:

Q: There is this guy that I really, really like, the problem is, he is totally in love with my BFF. I know because he told me, and wants me to help him get close to her. My best friend kinda likes him too. Help! - via Tumblr

JAAG: This is a tough one, because you love the guy and the girl who is your best friend. Who do you choose? Is the guy worth sabotaging your best friend's relationship with you? How far are you willing to go with this guy if he does choose you, and will you be able to make it through after the whole things blows over, especially if this relationship is just a fling? Is it worth that risk?
Ultimately, it comes down to familiarity and how much you are willing to sacrifice. If you don't know the girl really well, then it may not matter as much. Then again, you addressed this girl as 'your best friend', so you may want to think this one through a little more with much more thought just so that you don't make any rash decisions. Trust me, boys will come and go, but true friends are forever :)

Q: I can't choose between two girls, obviously, so what do you think? There is this girl in my English class who is a poet, and I love poetry. There is no other girl that I can talk to about Edgar Allan Poe and Robert Frost with other than her. The other girl is on the field hockey team, a sport that I play, and she is fierce at it. I'm kinda crushing on them both, but I can only choose one! Who should I go for? - Stuck in the Middle, via Email

JAAG: This one is all you, baby! :) It's your decision, not mine. You need to decide which girl is better for you, if either of them suffice. Most people go with the phrase "if you had loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second". This might hold true in your case: who DID you fall for first? Why did you fall for her first? Take some time to go over what you like about each girl, and talk to them more about your favourite things that they both share in common with you. See who you click more with, who you are more comfortable with. Maybe neither of them will be the one. Give yourself time and options before you make a decision, but don't fall for a third. It will just make things a lot more complicated than they already are.

Q: I'm falling behind in school, but I'm on the football team and honestly, I'm probably the best on the team. There is this girl that really likes me, but she says that she will only date me if I have really good marks like she does, and she is a straight A student. What now? - via Email

JAAG: Okay, is this girl really worth your time? Honestly. Ask yourself that. If she won't accept you for what you are good at, then maybe she isn't really a good person to have around as company. Good friends build each other up. They won't ask you to change (although, as a third party outsider to this situation, I would hope that you would try your best to bring your marks up!). Don't let her dictate your life, and better yet, see if you can bring those marks up. Surprise her. But until then, worry about getting your marks up and doing well in football... not impressing her :)

--- I believe that is enough for today! I realized that I haven't finished some homework yet... =.=" time to get back to work and not be distracted by the gorgeous Jimmy Fallon pictures on my Tumblr dashboard ;)

STAY OUT OF TROUBLE AND DON'T FORGET TO SMILE! Enjoy life :)

love,
rachelrae xx

When Will the Bullying Stop?

Does the title sound familiar? LOL I think I used the exact same wording but today I substituted 'Bullying' for 'Nightmares'.

It's a fact, though, that bullying will go on forever until we decide to do something about it!

 

 

So here is the video that I posted on my Youtube channel... okay, so currently there is nothing on it except for this video. I also have it on my facebook page. I think that it is important that we all reach out and be the bigger people in dangerous situations where people are threatened. No one deserves to be bullied, no matter who they are, what they have done, or where they are from (that sounded like a Backstreet Boys song...).

 

Does everyone agree?

 

Many people know about my struggles in the past with bullying, depression, low self-esteem and suicide. It's a path that no one wants to go down and a life that no one wants to live. I can understand why so many young people have committed suicide because of the bullies; I've been there and wanted the same thing myself.

 

Some people have asked me various questions about what it was like, what I did, and what made me change. One of the most common questions that I am asked is "How did you, in turn, beat the bully and not let them beat you?"

 

I can so answer that.

 

Bullying is something that no one deserves, as I had said earlier.

 

After being beat down so many times and over and over again, you get tired of it. You want something to change, and most of all, you don't want to let the bullies win. It's easier said than done, I agree.

 

But you know what? Reaching out for help is the number one way to get yourself out of a terrible situation like that. Getting help and asking for it is not a sign of weakness, it's a sign of character. It shows that you recognize that you are in trouble, and you can't fend it off alone.

 

I hope that you guys will make EVERY SINGLE DAY anti-bullying day.

 

I was able to post the actual video on my blog here. Enjoy and please share further <3

 

STAY OUT OF TROUBLE AND DON'T FORGET TO SMILE! Remember, you are all beautiful <3

 

rachelrae xx

The Nightmares Won't End!

So for some reason or another I'm having weird nightmares... anyone have any idea on how to stop them? I've tried many different things but I keep getting them every night. It's strange.

Here we go, I got a couple Tumblr questions.. let the Q and A begin :)

Q: Do you think it would be wrong for me to go out with my friend's ex of 6 months? I really like him, he really likes me, and my friend hates him because he despised her family. They borke up because of that. What do you think? - Stuck in the Middle, via Tumblr

JAAG: Hmmm, it seems to me that you truly are stuck in the middle as your nickname implies. Here's the thing: it's kind of unspoken rule that you don't date a friend's ex, no matter how long, no matter who hates whom or who broke up with whom. It kinda sucks for the other party. Plus, this girl hates this guy? And you want to date him? She may not be too jealous of the fact that you and her ex are a bit of a thing now, but she may get a little jealous when she wants to hang out with strictly you and you already have a date night planned... and let's just say that a date with both your new boyfriend and your best friend may be a little more than awkward. Ultimately it's your choice: how much do you value the friendship, and how much do you value the relationship that you have with this boy? How much are you willing to risk in this friendship for this boy that likes you back? Think about it, and talk to your friend about it too before you do anything that may split you two apart.

Q: Every time I get a new piece of clothing, my boyfriend harps on me for it and says it's ugly. He is always insisting that I go shopping with him so that he can tell me what looks good on me. He says that he is concerned for my image... and I'm starting to wonder if that's true. - Not Model Enough, via Tumblr

JAAG: You and I are on the same wavelength, so that's a good sign. It's good that you realize that this guy may be thinking more about his image than yours. If he really did care about you, this image thing would have never surfaced. You need to be straight with him: Ask him for a couple pointers and hear him out for a bit, but also be firm and tell him that you don't appreciate when he calls your new clothes 'ugly'. After you tell him so, give him some time to readjust his hateful mouth. If there is no change, you may need to reconsider this relationship and find someone that will love you for all of you and not just your clothes!

Q: There is this girl that I really like, but she is a year older than I am. I heard that she doesn't date younger guys, but she is really, really nice. I see her all the time in the library after school reading something like "War and Peace" or "Oliver Twist", books that I'm into (I'm a geek, I know). I'm afraid to approach her, but I want to talk to her and maybe get her to like me back. What should I do? - The Library boy, via Tumblr

JAAG: Just be yourself! That's all I can tell you to. Be brave, be bold and make a comment about the book that she is reading... then maybe you two can have a nice conversation over something you both enjoy!

Well that's a wrap for now, apparently I am strapped for time... stay out of trouble and don't forget to smile! happy thanksgiving everyone!

rachelrae xx

Simple, Easy, Straightforward

Firstly, I just would like to share this amazing British boyband that I have stumbled upon while listening to music on Youtube.... the amazing things you can find :') They were originally called The Grove but they have now changed their band name to Lawson. This is their new single, "Standing in the Dark" from their new album Chapman Squares. I was blown away by how good they sound together and the fact that they are all very cute <3

SO GOOD.

Anyhow, this week has been pretty easy and simple, which makes me happy. It gives me time to think and catch up with things that I may be behind on. You may have noticed that I began blogging regularly on the Saturday morning... hopefully that will continue. I can't promise that it will but I will try my best to do so and get to your questions ASAP :)

Here we go: I found some of these interesting. Where do you find the capacity to think up some of these questions? I guess we are all very curious beings... ;)

The first thing I would like to address is this Facebook status-y thing that has a bunch (I believe there are 50 of them) questions that was sent to be via email... some really, really random questions.....

Q: Please answer this as fully and extensively as possible. I feel like I don't really know you that well as a blogger. I know its a lot more questions from one person that you usually get, but this would mean a lot to me. My friend posted this on facebook and I would like to see how you do with this. - via Email.

JAAG: Um. Well, then, I will try my best. (my answers are in blue)
 Ever cheated on someone? How many times?:
I've never cheated on anyone because I've been cheated on myself. The feeling when you find out that you've been cheated on is the worst in the world, and I don't want anyone to feel that way.
 How old were you when you lost your virginity? Or if you are a virgin, what age do you think you’ll lose it at?:
 I'll lose it when I'm ready = after I'm married = currently do not know what age I will get married at.
Are you “in love” with somebody?
Currently, no,
 Have you ever done anything sexual on your parents bed?:
That would be disgusting, gross and down right strange. NO.
Ever been “the other person” in an affair?:
No. 
How many people do you have a crush on right now?:
At the present moment that I answer this, there is  no one. Honestly..
Ever had a one night stand?
no.
Ever gotten drunk and couldn’t remember the night?:
I don't even drink. I don't really like the taste onf any alcohol.
 Ever had a crush on your neighbor?:
Well, all the obys in my neighbourhood are really young, like, 4 years younger than me... and they are gross and immature.
 Ever snuck out of the house?:
Funny question, but no.
 If you’re underage, do you still drink and/or smoke cigarettes?:
I am underage, so no and no.
 Ever attempted suicide?:
Thought about, yes; tried, no.
 Ever been to therapy? What for?:
When I had Mollaret's, I had to go to therapy and rehabilitation because of the medicine.
 Have you ever been so upset that you stopped eating?:
For me it's the opposite: if I get upset I do eat. Not a lot, but I would still eat.
 Are you clinically depressed? Are you taking anything for it?
I suffer from situational depression. I'm not quite sure if it's clinical yet; there has been no set diagnosis.
 How old were you when you first got kissed?:
If we're talking pecks on the cheek, I would have to say 12. Sweet, innocent, pecks on the lips, 13. Total makeout, 16. It was last week.
 Ever been in a relationship and wanted to end it, but stuck with it for some reason?
If I was in a relationship that I was unhappy in, it didn't seem fair to stay in the relationship for the sake of being in a relationship and leading the other person on, especially when they still love you. I've been in situations like that twice, but  Inever stuck around just because. That would be unfair.
Did you ever run away? How long were you gone for and what happened?:
The childhood naiveness of running away and hoping that people will be sorry that they ever got angry at you or made fun of you in the first place... thought about it, never went through with it.
 Do you ever lie to yourself about things so much that you believe it?
As much as I can lie to people about being fine when they ask me 'how are you?', I know myself too well. I can't lie to myself because I'm too realistic with my goals and what I want for my life.
 Have you ever liked someone when you were dating someone else?
No, because to me, that's the step into the cheating territory, and cheating is bad.
. Ever dated a friend’s ex?:
No, because that is just wrong. I wouldn't want a best friend doing that to me, so likewise,  I shouldn't do that to them
 Ever done something with your friend’s significant other?:
No. that's wrong.
Did anyone ever confide in you about being gay/lesbian?:
Two people so far. My first ex told me while we were together that he was bisexual. I had a friend once that told me that she was a lesbian. I don't have anything against homosexual people, but it was strange to hear that she was in love with me.
Do you know of someone who has done a horrible crime but never got caught?
No
.Ever stole a large sum of money?:
No, my future is too important for me to have it tainted with a police record over money that isn't mine.
Ever got a piercing behind your parents’ back?:
I am scared of needles. I would want them to be with me when I get my first piercing.
 What’s your #1 biggest fear?:
SPIDERS
Have you ever faced that fear? What happened?:
I confront them on a day to day basis. I scream really loudly.

Q: Would you consider yourself and introvert or an extrovert? - via Twitter

JAAG: Good question. I think about that a lot. Sometimes I think of myself as an introvert, but other times I think of myself as an extrovert. I'm kind of an in between of some sorts; an introverted extrovert if that even makes any sense. Some days I can fair well in social situations, but some days I just really do not want to be talked to because it is awkward to me.

Q: Describe the best summer romance you ever had :) - via Tumblr

JAAG: Honestly, there have been a lot of flings that have happened that either the guy ended or I've ended, but each one was unforgettable. Now that I'm older, I have a little more freedom. This past summer I went on a cruise to the Bahamas and I met this guy.. he's my age and he's from the east coast. He is adorable <3 We spent a lot of time together and he took me dancing and we even pulled a Titanic on the front of the boat. Nevertheless, when the time came to say goodbye, we just held onto to each other and traded info. He did kiss me, and he looks amazing in a suit and tie <3

Q: You come across as a really literate person. What are you currently reading right now? - via Twitter

JAAG: Well gee, thanks for saying that I am smart and literate. I've been reading since age 3.
I currently am reading Leo Tolstoy's Anna Karenina. It is quite the love story. There are parts about Russian farming that I find dry so I skip those parts, but the actual love story complete with the affiars and the bitter betrayals keeps me up all night in anticipation, flipping through he book page by page. If you ever get the chance, I suggest reading it, and I'm not even done yet!

Q: Would you consider yourself a tea person or a coffee person? - via Tumblr

JAAG: I cannot call myself a coffee person because personally, the taste of regualr coffee (ie Americano, Colombian, etc) with cream and sugar is unappealing to me. I do however like lattes or mochas. I would call myself more of a tea person. I love tea, it keeps me awake and doesn't put me to sleep (coffee does, strangely enough.)

Q: What is the best part of your day? - via Twitter

JAAG: Being able to wake up alive. It's the best feeling in the world :)

So I thank you for all your questions... can you believe that September is basically over?? Where has the time gone, I feel so old... :')

Meanwhile, STAY OUT OF TROUBLE AND DON'T FORGET TO SMILE! Enjoy the last couple days of September, the sunshine, the Autumn breeze and the coloured leaves falling from the trees... I should be a poet. :P

love and such,

rachelrae xx

I'm Here for You.

So hello fellow blog readers! Life is strange, I think you would agree with me. My life has taken an emotional and strange and slightly awkward turn.

I know I suffer from depression. That is not a new fact for me, but it always gets me every time no matter how ready I am for it. I'm a strange person altogether, so I guess I will have to accept that.

To help reach out to other people with this same state of mind, I want people to know that I am here for you. I want to empower you. I want you to know that in times of trouble and need and the times when it feels like you have no one left to talk to, I can be there for you. I may not know you personally but I will try my very best to help you out, because no one deserves to suffer alone and in silence.

More information can be found on my Tumblr: I've created a link to a page that hopefully you will read and feel that you aren't alone. I want to make you feel as welcome as possible. No amount of words is too large or too small, too ordinary or too bizarre. I will take you the way you are. You don't need to worry about being judged.

Here it is, please check it out if you ever need help: http://mariachelle-annaclare.tumblr.com >> want to suicide?

Just like I answer all your questions, you tell me whether or not you would like them to be posted on the blog or not for other people to read and learn. I can tell you now that whatever you choose to tell me will forever stay confidential and I will not share it with anyone.

Along the lines of this subject, I got a couple questions concerning suicide and depression that people wanted publicized and answered...

Q: I know you always say that there is someone out there that thinks that I am worth it.. but so far I  haven't been able to find that person, so does that make me useless? - via Tumblr

JAAG: Absolutely not! There are people out there that love you for who you are, and even if you haven't found them yet, rest assured that they are out there. For a long time I have struggled with this as well: the people you thought actually cared for you turn out to be your worst nightmares and be very unsupportive. I want you to know that everyone has a purpose in life, and you have to find it. You may have a small part in this world, but without this part, our world wouldn't be complete :)\

Q: My friend wants to suicide. What can I do to stop him? - via Twitter

JAAG: Talk to him about it and see if you can offer him any words of encouragement and tell him that he is an amazing person. Tell him about his strengths and what you like best about him. Tell him that you will be there to listen if he ever needs someone to listen. If you feel that you won't be able to handle what he could tell you, tell an adult that you can trust. An adult can help you in finding help for your friend.
Also, tell him to read my "want to suicide?" page on my Tumblr which is listed at the top of this post. Hope that helps, and tell your friend that he is amazing!

Q: Is depression the same for everyone? - via Twitter

JAAG: Not really. There are two types of depression: clinical and situational. Clinical comes from an imbalance of chemicals in your brain. It's interesting to note that this is hereditary and if a person has a family history, it is not uncommon for it to be seen in future generations.
On the other hand, situational depression derives from, as the name implies, 'situations of your present and past'. Say for example you failed a test, you got bullied, you were denied a scholarship, a close family member passed away, your dog ran away... these are all things that can traumatize people and make them feel like their life is spiralling out of control or that they are 'worthless'. People have different levels of depression, some very mild and some very severe, and people have different ways of coping with it, so depression is different for everyone.

Q: How can I deal with my depression on my own? My family thinks that anyone who suffers from depression is 'weak' and 'useless' and there is no such thing as depression in their world. - via Tumblr

JAAG: I live in a world similar to you. While my parents don't share views quite as extreme as yours, my parents do feel that depression is just a head thing that you can grow out of and that it is not a serious disease. Unfortunately, it is, and it is sweeping our continent by storm. I would first suggest talking to an adult that you can trust, preferably someone that has no ties to your parents in case it accidentally slips. A school counsellor is a great choice. However, if depression becomes suicide and you are seen as 'at risk to yourself' chances are you may get 'ratted out' so to speak. When that happens, don't feel betrayed. It is for your good. That happened to me where my adult told the school guidance counsellor and I was in counselling for 5 weeks. At the time I felt super betrayed, but now looking back, I am so thankful that he did that for me <3

Q: I've been doing all these things that I don't usually do: I've been hanging out with different people, jaywalking during lunch, coming in late for classes and giving teachers attitude. I never used to do that, but now, I don't know what's happening to me. what should I do? - via Tumblr

JAAG: This may be a side effect to depression: breaking out and wanting more attention to yourself for all the wrong reasons. It happens, and for a little bit, it happened to me too. I actually made out with someone during my little rebellious streak! But looking back, it was a mistake. These things rush to your head, they make you feel superior and for a while you are on a power trip that is nothing but ecstasy and fake-ness. Good for you for noticing it, and now, try your best to do what you used to: get into class early. Cross the sidewalk instead of running across the street. Smile at teachers, and maybe keep your mouth closed for a bit. You can do this: it maybe all in your head, but you have the power to change.

So yeah, I hope that you can find some peace of mind in my blog. Like I said before, don't hesitate to message me or ask me a question or tell me what's going on or how you are feeling now. We are all different, unique, special and beautiful. YOU ARE WORTH IT.

This is a song for you, kinda depressing, but I love it all the same. "The A Team" by Ed Sheeran

"It's too cold outside for angels to fly, to fly, to fly."

STAY OUT OF TROUBLE AND DON'T FORGET TO SMILE! Remember that there is no one on this earth that is youer than you - Dr. Seuss. :)

love,

rachelrae xx

Back to Routine!

Wow, sorry for not posting in such a long time. I've been out of town getting probably the bestest tan I have ever got since going to Hawaii 6 years ago! :) I've also been spending a lot of time on Tumblr and stuff, my new found love <3 But nothing can compare to the base that I have created here on my original blog!

I've gotten a ton of questions - questions regarding summer loves. Questions about what my outlook was for school year 2012/2013. Questions on pursuing new boy/girlfriends this year. The most random questions you can ever imagine! I also got a ton of interesting mail that I would like to answer to :)

My saturdays are now free, so I can answer as many of them as  I can in the next little while... >:)

Q: It was probably the best summer ever, JAAG! My best guy friend and I of 11 years have finally fallen in love with each other.. how exciting is that? - via Tumblr

JAAG: I think that at any time, when someone finds out that their crush likes them back and they are in that stage of, "so cool, we both like each other!" and for a while, you are in the euphoria that most people mistaken for love, when really it isn't. Don't get me wrong though, I've been where you are and felt that I was in love when really it was all an illusion. In fact, I lived quite a parallel life to you last year. All I can say is, stay true to yourself. Don't let your best guy friend now turned boyfriend overrule you. The best thing about dating a close friend is that you can skip the awkward stage of getting to know each other and having the rumours fly that you are already planning out your wedding when in reality, you haven't even lifted off the ground yet. Don't let the guy pressure you into doing anything that you don't want to. Most of the time, people that we are closest to are the ones that want to push us out there further, but if you keep your ground, none of these bad things will happen to you. When you sense that something isn't right and you feel like mortal enemies from the best friends that you used to be, don't hesitate to pull the plug. Best of luck!

Q: How was your summer? - via Twitter

JAAG: My summer was an interesting one. The first 2/3 was all work and more work (although I did sneak in some time to blog to you guys!). I had a music history exam to take in the beginning of August, and I was doing some volunteer work and went in for a couple job interviews. I think there was one day where I actually did get to go out with two of my best friends and hang out in true summer fashion. After the exam I had one week to chill out, and I did. Then I went with my family on a two week vacay to Florida: Orlando & Miami and the Bahamas: Great Bahama Island, Nassau and the Norwegian Cruise Line's private island, Great Stirrup Cay. It was a fun trip, meeting up with my mom's family, going to DisneyWorld, experiencing NASA, cruising to exotic locations... it was all so much fun, and it went by really fast! So in essence, it was a good summer :)

Q: Did you learn anything about your personality/conquer anything that you needed to face this summer? - via Tumblr

JAAG: I'm not quite sure what you meant by this question, but I found it interesting and I interpreted it in a way that I hope is the way that you asked this question, but if it isn't, I'm terribly sorry for rambling and not answering your question!
I learned a lot in music history this summer. In terms of myself, I learned that this guy I liked? Probably not the smartest guy to like after all. If a guy is cute but has no content, there isn't much in him to date. Also, I learned that if  I see a cute guy and try to ignore it because there is no way in the universe that I will be his girlfriend.... well, let's just say that God works in mysterious ways ;)

Q: Are you going to date this school year, since you are single now? - via Tumblr

JAAG: I have realized that that is a bad attitude. I shouldn't have to be dependent on having a boyfriend to be happy, because look at where that got me last year. I have so many friends and people that care for me, that it's actually totally unnecessary to have a boyfriend to make me happy. I'm so blessed and lucky! To answer your question, anything can change. The moment I get a boyfriend will not because I want to make myself more happy to make up for what I am lacking, but because I have found someone that can love me wholly for who I am. So far I haven't found that person yet, but you gotta keep looking, because he is somewhere out there.

Q:  are you the girl at Guildford? - via Twitter

JAAG: Ah, a Surrey Native I see ;) if you are referring to the girl with the short hair and sans glasses.. then yes :)

Q: Summer loves ? - via Twitter

JAAG: I met this guy on the cruise... I noticed him right away when we were waiting to get onto the boat, but I tried to ignore the tugging at my heart, because he would never fall for me. And even if we became friends and such, maybe he lives halfway across the world! But he followed me, and eventually in the waiting area he was sitting right behind me. My hat was knocked off my head, and guess who picked it up?
Anyways, we became friends, hanging out and stuff. We went to a party together, we walked on the beach together, we had dinner with each other. Probably the cutest summer love I ever had :)

Q: I just want to say that when you were blogging through your difficult and cynical phase, I was following your blog. You are an inspiration to me and I appreciate all that you are able to put out there for random strangers to read. You gave me hope. I am happy to see that you are doing well now, and I want you to know that you helped me pull through, even though I don't know you and you don't know me. You showed me how to look past my imperfections because I am still perfect in God's eyes. Thank you so much <3 - via Tumblr

JAAG: It means so much to me that people actually read the random stuff that I post, but it is another thing to actually help someone through a difficult time just by blogging about mine. Thank you for reading, thank you for understanding, thank you for coping, and best of all, thank you for not harming yourself in anyway! You are BEAUTIFUL, no wait, BE-YOU-TIFUL. There is no one else like you on this Earth, and if you are gone, the world is lacking in someone like you. I'm so happy that we were both able to push past the hardships in our past! Here's to a bright and amazing future! :)

Q: Do you still get depressed even though you have been deemed 'safe' and 'non-suicidal'? - via Tumblr

JAAG: I think that is common for humans to get depressed, since we are human. Now that I am 'safe' and 'non-suicidal', I do sometimes get depressed. Just because one is deemed safe doesn't mean that they will be happy for the rest of their lives. Being depressed is like being sad but it is magnified almost 10 fold. It causes them to be paranoid, in pain, and wanting to get themselves out of a painful situation, usually through suicide. I've been there, and I would have to say that while I don't get depressed as much now, I still do. It will take a while before I can get to an even better place, but I don't think I will stop being depressed for certain reasons.

Q: What is the biggest goal that you have for yourself this school year? - via Twitter

JAAG: I think that it would be to end the year off strong, even though it's only the beginning. Apparently Grade 11 is a crucial and important year. Also to have fun and not to get tangled up in stupid drama that I don't have to be tangled up in.

Q: You were tweeting a fair bit about a story that you are writing. Care to explain?;) - via Tumblr

JAAG: Absolutely! I didn't even realize that so many of you follow me on twitter :P Well, basically, I've written two sort of memoirs of my own life, and I wanted to try my hand at writing a fiction novel. I've written a couple short stories for contests here and there, and every time I did try to write a fiction, I would stop at chapter 6 or so. No joke. This time around, I actually had an outline to follow, some basic points that I made sure that I would hit throughout the story. Whenever I felt an emotion, I let that lead my writing, and so far it's been going pretty well. I'm on chapter 13 :) More details to come!

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Well, first week in school and there isn't that much homework! :)

Listening to Big Time Rush to make up for the fact that they are in my city this weekend but I won't be going ): Oh well.

Thanks everyone for being so understanding and for knowing more about me than I do sometimes, you are all so amazing! :)

STAY OUT OF TROUBLE AND DON'T FORGET TO SMILE! Best of luck to everyone this school year, and keep those questions coming in! :) And any Rushers going to the vancity BTR concert this weekend, have so much fun, have double the fun for me! Haters are gonna hate, but Rushers are gonna elevate! <3

Your fellow Rusher,

rachelrae xx

Studying in the Summertime ):

Well, I guess the bright side is that my exam is on Friday, and after that I won't have to study for another test until September rolls around. Fingers crossed that my exam will go smoothly, and that maybe, just maybe, my first major test for school will be in October?...

Three questions today:

Q: How can I tell my boyfriend to stop making fun of my friends? - via Twitter

JAAG: So here's the thing, this should be a signal to you that this boyfriend needs re-evaluating. At the same time, this signal should be LOUD and CLEAR. If this guy is dissing your friends and shows no signs of stopping his immature behaviour, you need to talk to him. Have a werious conversation with him, and tell him that not only do your friends not appreciate the words coming out of his mouth, but you don't either. Tell him that you aren't joking around and that this could be the end of the relationship should he choose to not listen to you. All in all, follow your instincts: if at first he does well but ends up reverting back to boyfriend 1.0, then you can kiss this relationship goodbye.

Q: I see on your Tumblr that you like both Niall Horan from 1D and Logan Henderson from BTR. Which one do you like the most? (my money is on Logan since you have a blog for him) - via Tumblr

JAAG: Well honestly, I like both of them equally. If you really want to get in deeper, I liked Logan more just because BTR came out before 1D did, but it really is difficult to choose. Also, check out my blog again and ask me again whether or not I can choose between Logan, Niall, or Vin Diesel. There is no competition there... :)

Q: What are some of the things that you look for in a boy?  - via Twitter

JAAG: I've stopped looking at solely appearances, because I learned that 1) that gets you nowhere and 2) sometimes it may get you in trouble. Now I look for someone who is respectful, responsible and funny. If I like a person who can't respect me, my family or my friends, then this relationship is clearly not going to work out. If you wnat to love me, you will have to love all of me, and that includes the people that are dear to me. Also, it would be a bonus if the guy is cute <3

Okay, well that was exhilirating.. thanks again everyone for bearing with me! I might have another post up next week depending on the time I have after work, but then after that, its adios amigos!  I'm off to Florida for two weeks, and then school is going to restart. Where did summer even go?...

"Summer should get a speeding ticket."

Okay, so before I go, how about you guys take a vote: Who is hotter?

 Logan Henderson ^^

Vin Diesel (sorry I couldn't find a GIF) ^^

Or Niall Horan? ^^

STAY OUT OF TROUBLE AND DON'T FORGET TO SMILE! Wish me luck on that exam, and I will surely think of you guys while I'm tanning away in Florida ;)

Have a good rest of the summer! A little bird told me that there are only 27 days left until we get back to metal lockers, classes changing every hour and cafeteria food.

cheers!

rachelrae xx

Last day of July!

Whoa, there! July 31st already? Where did July go? Where did the time go??

This is insanity!

Anyways, I got a ton more questions from you guys. You are probably all the coolest blog followers ever!

I just finished another day of camp... excrutiating, but you get through it. Its really rewarding when the kids finally listen to you and understand things and learn new things. So fun but I think my voice is going.. my choir director isn't going to be too happy about that one >.<"

Oh well, here we go. Less talking, more writing, more answering!

Q: I love my girlfriend so, so much. We've been dating since 7th grade, and we just graduated from high school. We're both 18, and I can't wait another day for her to go on as just my girlfriend.. I want to marry her! Do you think its too early? - Don't Wanna Be A Bachelor Forever, via Tumblr

JAAG: Awwe, don't worry, I highly doubt that you will be a bachelor! But you know what, good for yo uand your girlfriend for committing to such a long lasting relationship, and showing to her how much you love and appreciate her! Honestly, it's totally up to you. You and her both have to sit down and discuss this. We aren't talking about a T-shirt that you can buy and return a couple days later because it doesn't fit or because you don't like it.. this is MARRIAGE! You have to decide, and she does also, if you both are ready for this long term commitment (If you ask me, you both seem really ready!) You also need to ask whether or not you are both ready to start a family. Do you both really want to put off school for the sake a your family, or will you finish school first before you have children? There are a lot of variables in place, as well as the financial aspect. Think through this, talk to your parents, and really really think long and hard before you get down on one knee and propose to her. Best of luck and congratulations to both of you for getting this far!!

Q: I think I'm lesbian. What do I do now? - via Twitter

JAAG: I'm the wrong person to ask, because I'm not. Good for you, though, for being true to yourself and realizing that you want to come through with such a big part of your life. I would say continue living your life and continue being the good friend you are. If you haven't told anyone yet, just be yourself. Tell someone that you can trust and that won't blow the whole thing out of proportion or leave you in your time of need. This is a big step in your life! Live it through day by day, and just be you. There is no one else like you.

Q: What are your thoughts on long distance relationships? Like, the ones where I'm here, and my boyfriend is going halfway across the world? - via Twitter

JAAG: This is interesting. I've actually been in a long distance relationship before. My boyfriend at the time didn't go as far as yours did; mine only went across the country away from me, so still fairly close but not close enough where we could both meet halfway and go grab a Starbucks or something. You could look at it as you won't be spending all your time with him, so there isn't the potential "getting bored" that some couples face because they spend all their time with each other. The thing is though, with his distance, even short visits maybe be difficult to coordinate because he is there, and you are here. On the other hand, you may have to take this as a sign of saying that this isn't meant to be. Some people can only tolerate long distance for so long, and sometimes people get antsy (not saying that you will, but its a possibility). You or your boyfriend might eventually fall for someone else, but then you won't be able to date them because technically, you are still in a relationship! It all comes down to how much you love him (okay, that sounds mean). You have to talk to him and communicate to him where you want this to go, so as to not let yourself or him miss out on a potential soulmate. If you do want to continue this relationship, not to worry! We are in the age of instant communcation: we have Skype, Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr... You have plenty of ways to talk to him on a regular basis!

Q: I heard that you were a singer/songwriter on your Tumblr. What do you write about? I want to write a song, but I don't know where to start.  - via Email

JAAG: Wow, something unrelated to relationships! :) That's true, I am a singer/songwriter and I absolutely adore writing songs in my spare time! My piano is my baby! Well, I usually write about songs that are true and relatable to my life. Usually there are three themes to the songs I write: 1) Songs about a boy that I wish was mine; 2) Songs about a boy who is mine and its about how much I love him; or 3) A break up song/I hate you type of song. Trust me, I've written a lot of those ;)
You really have to write about something that has happened to you. I once wrote a song about my Grandmother who passed away a couple years ago. That helped me cope and also helped me reminicse about all the times we spent together. Good luck on your songwriting!

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Alrighty, I guess I'm off. My exam is in a week or so.... take care. Another tiring yet interesting coupld days await me...

STAY OUT OF TROUBLE AND DON'T FORGET TO SMILE! The sun is shining, and if you're reading this... you're still alive. GO OUTSIDE AND PLAY!

love,

rachelrae  xx

Not really summer, but oh well.

Hey :) Just wanted to post, I know there are tons of questions that are waiting to be answered... So far, summer has been pretty good to me, except for the fact that I have a music history exam to take in about 2 weeks or so. Wish me luck, I'm going to need it!

So last post I told you that I was in need of more questions, and my oh my how well you all responded..

Q: Is it true that if you have sex with your boyfriend, you will feel closer to him? via Twitter


JAAG: I can't say from personal experience...

Errrms, well, I think it would really have to depend on you as a person and your boyfriend. Some people grow closer and make stronger bonds after sex, but that's the whole reason why married couples do it: not just to procreate, but to make a stronger and more loving bond between them. I would say that, unless you plan on marrying the guy within the next 6 months, sex may not be the best thing for you right now. Even if you "love" him and he "loves" you back, take a step back, Does he really? Do YOU really love him? Ask your self that before you make any sort of hasty decision, one that you may regret later on in life.

Q: You keep talking about how God has made one person for each of us, and how there is someone out there for us. I went through 9 different boyfriends, and I still haven't found the one. I'm 20 years old and single! Where is my Prince Charming?! -via Tumblr


JAAG: Let me clarify: God has set out people that He has meant for us in our lives, but sometimes, people are called to a single life. This isn't because God hates us, but it's what God has meant for us because He loves us. Now, to answer your question, perhaps all those boyfriends may have aroused something in your that you feel like he is the "one" and that's why you are so fed up with this whole "soulmate" thing because it's happened not once, not twice, but nine times. I feel for you, I haven't been there as much as you, but I've had three boyfriends now. I realize now that I want to follow what God has destined for me...as much as I would love to get married and start a family one day, I know that I will go nowhere if I'm not following God's Path. Keep the faith, and one day you may find that special someone to spend the rest of your life with.

Q: I've been secretly dating two girls, thinking that it would be okay. Now I just found out that they were best friends! They both think that its really funny and coincidental that both of their boyfriends have the same name, when in reality, its the same person. HELP! -via Tumblr


JAAG: My, my, my. This is quite a sticky situation that you have on your hands, but can I ask you a question in return? Why would you do that? I'm surprised that your girlfriends haven't begun to compare notes on how much their 'boyfriends' share in common, much beyond the first name! I say don't wait until they discover that their boyfriends have the same last name. Come clean, and be ready to face the wrath of two innocent girls that have been cheated and the fact that you will most likely go from two girlfriends to zero girlfriends. Right now the best thing you can offer is not your charm but your integrity and honesty. That way, hopefully after this blows over you can all still be friends.. just not in a romantic sense. And for future reference, never date two girls at one time, even if they are moral enemies. You'll just get into a lot of trouble.

Q: My boyfriend cheated on me while he was on vacation. I saw all the pictures on facebook of him and another beach blonde babe kissing while he was in Hawaii. I still love him, but this is unacceptable. What should I do? -via Email


JAAG: You're right, that is unacceptable. You deserve to have a boyfriend that is faithful and true to you, no matter if you are in the same city or not. I guess you should ask yourself a couple questions: is this a first time infraction of your trust? If it is, then ask yourself this: has he told you that he is sorry and wants you back? Talk to the guy and tell him how you felt when you saw those pictures on your newsfeed. Tell him how hurt you are. If he shows no signs of remorse or if he says its "just a fling", you may need to re-evaluate your relationship with him. But, if he is truly sorry, you can consider taking him back, on the condition that he never does something like that again. If he does, then things could end between the two of you. And while we're at it (although I am certain that you won't do this), but don't do that back to him just for revenge. Now that you know how it feels, take the high road and move on.

Q: My parents are constantly fighting all the time, and they are uttering divorce threats at each other. I'm scared because if they get a divorce, I don't know what will happen to me and my siblings...and our family. -via Email


JAAG: I'm truly sorry to hear that, from the bottom of my heart. It is never easy to hear parents fighting with each other, especially if it is a recurrent thing that happens at your house. Try talking to them, one on one (as in, one conversation with mom, a separate one with dad) and tell them how you feel. Don't try and play couples counsellor or pry into their issues, just tell them that you feel sad and scared when they fight. Hopefully if you bring to your parents' attention that you and your siblings feel uncomfortable when they fight, they will a) stop fighting or b) find somewhere else to fight where they cannot be heard or c) realize that this is a problem that they need to resolve for the good of the family.
Also, if you are scared of talking to your parents, talk to a trusted adult. Maybe your relatives, like your aunt or grandmother? Or even tell your fears to a guidance counsellor. That's what always helps me. I really hope that your parents can work something out! Keep asking questions if you ever need someone to talk to :)

Q: Ever since the divorce, my dad has been seeing a steady stream of women. Occasionally he will say that 'she's the one I want to marry', but really, I hate all of them. - via Tumblr


JAAG: I'm sorry to hear about your parents divorce. Now, concerning your dad, unfortuantely the type of people that you will be into may not be reflected on the type of people your dad are into. Ultimately he is the one that is dating them, but you are right, if he ends up marrying them, she will eventually be your new step mom. Remember this: no matter how ugly a divorce is, no one can replace your biological mother. Talk to your dad about these women, and tell him that you want someone that will not only treat you right, but him right as well, and be a good family person. You want someone that will not replace your mother, but be jsut as good as your real mother. You can't really stand in the way of who your dad wants to marry, but he should consider how you feel about someone before he proposes. I hope everything works out!

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Didn't I say there were a ton of great questions? You guys are the best! :)

Like I said before in the above questions, I'm always here. Of course I may not get to your question right away as I am receiving from a bunch of different places, but I will get to them eventually, and you all know that. However if you require immediate talking to (so toe speak) my Tumblr is constantly active, and I will be more than happy to answer your questions, check out and follow your own blogs! Just shoot me a question in my ask, anonymous or not. Just remember that if the question is left anonymous, it will be posted on my blog for everyone to see... just putting that out there. If you have a Tumblr you can ask me and I can answer it privately unless you tell me that its okay. Most of them time I take all the Tumblr questions and answer them here as you can clearly see, but occasionally I will answer them on Tumblr itself.

Oh my, would you look at the time. I should get back to studying. Keep those questions coming! My Tumblr is, of course, http://mariachelle-annaclare.tumblr.com

STAY OUT OF TROUBLE AND DON'T FORGET TO SMILE! Take care, and farewell for now. Thank you for all the outpouring of good luck wishes on Twitter by the way, I'm going to need all the luck I can get for this exam! After that, someone is going to sunny Florida for two weeks!.... #Ecstatic

love and praying for sunny weather and an easy exam,

rachelrae xx

Mentally Exhausted...

Listening to a song called "Drift Away" by Magnetic North. I've never heard of them, and literally, I was introduced to them a couple minutes ago by a really close friend of mine. I miss him so :( ...

So, how is everyone's summer going so far? I know we've only barely scratched the surface, since its only July, but still. I've already had such an adventurous week. Strenuous and annoying, but fun and rewarding altogether. Spent a week at a camp, helping out little children with performing arts. Greeeat...

LOL So I have some questions here, let's tackle them one by one. I can only get through three, so let's see who the lucky ones are...

Q: There is this girl that I have been friends with forever, and I'm starting to have feelings for her. I don't know what I should do... should I tell her how I feel, or should I keep my mouth shut just so that we can stay such good friends? - Don't Wanna Be FriendZoned, via Tumblr

JAAG: Oh my goodness, its like you have been stalking me :) Firstly, I've been in your situation before, so let me just say that it has its pros and cons. On one hand, you know everything about this girl, what she likes, dislikes, and stuff like that. On the other hand, you hit the nail on the head: if anything happens, what happens to your friendship? After going through something like that twice, I feel like anything can change and you can get back to where you were after waiting it out a bit.
I was exploring on Youtube before I began this post, and I found this song that can totally relate to your situation... and honestly, I'm falling in love with this guy, right here <3 Jason Chen, Chinese cutie <3 Enjoy, and good luck! It's called "Best Friend" by Jason Chen

Q: All my boyfriend can talk to me about is sex. He won't talk to me about anything else, but I'm not ready for sex. What can I do? - via Twitter

JAAG: Sweetheart, he is totally not worth your time. LEAVE HIM! LOL Okay, so I shouldn't tell you how to live your relationships... but at the same time, take this as a warning flag. The only reason he isn't leaving you yet is that he really really wants you to have sex with him. Turn the tables and take off on him first. This guy isn't worth your time.. find someone that will treaet you and your virginity as a gift.

Q: Gift ideas for my parents' 20th wedding anniversary?? - via Twitter

JAAG: Good for your parents, making it at 20 years already! And good for you for going to get them a gift! :) Honestly, you will probably know your parents way way better than I do... but a really good gift idea is a scrapboo/photo album to showcase all the wonderful memories that you as a family have shared. That's my personal favourite :) Good luck on finding a gift for them!

WOW. New boyfriend up there ^^ Jason Chen <3

LOL In my dreams.

Life is going pretty well, so it seems. Someone is going to Florida in August... someone named MEEEE <3 Also, love life seems t be going pretty spectacular, someone asked me about that the other day. It's going great! The best time is always to be in love with someone,  I guess, that time before you're in a relationship and just crushing on them :) Makes you dream more...

oh well. STAY OUT OF TROUBLE AND DON'T FORGET TO SMILE! Also, enjoy some randomness here... www.mariachelle-annaclare.tumblr.com :)

summer loving,

rachelrae xx

Summerlike Weather :)

Well, it's about time that we got some sunshine around this part of town. Enough with the doom and gloom of the rain... this is what we are talking about!

Although a radio station has it right...

"We are totally in love with the weather now, but next week, we will be wishing for the rain again."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA.

Anyways, I got my learner's license this morning. I'm pretty happy. I was really worried; I got there early with my mom and my sister and we were the first ones in line just so that we could make sure that we got it done and over with.

People were coming in after me and the people behind the desk were like, "Oh welcome back" or "here to try again?"

I was so scared... was it really that difficult? I didn't know. But I hoped that I could get it done in one shot. I mean, $15 a try? Seriously? Ouuuuch...

Cool, so I have some more questions. I was going to do a live video reply of this one just to try something new, but my camera didn't have enough space in minutes.. and at the same time, the playback had no sound so I have no idea how retarded I would sound :P Also, I would have to see how I would edit it as well... but here we go:

Q: I have been best friends with this guy (we're both guys, FYI) for a really long time, ever since kindergarten and stuff. Now we're both going to be seniors next year at the same school. This past year there was a girl that we both saw at the same time and we literally called dibs on her at the same time, like, word for word "She's mine." I don't want to fight him, but I really want to talk to her and possibly date her. Any advice? - via Tumblr

JAAG: Thanks for the clarification, sweetheart. It's good to know what gender I'm working with here ;)
Now, as girls, we have this thing called "sisters before misters" and another one, although I know that it's not very appropriate to say here... so surely, as guys, you guys have something similar? Like a bro code or something?
Look, if you two are as close as you say you are, then I hope you won't let a girl get in between you two because that would be very unfortunate to give up after so much history. I could say "Let the girl decided" but trust me, that never works because you both will be trying to outcompete each other. I would say forget about the girl, and try not to meet one girl at the same time, because that would lead you both to the current problem you guys are in. If he really is your best friend, then he would hear you out when you say that you don't want to fight over something that is so petty and so unsure! Hopefully you both will find respectable girls to date in the future :)

Q: My mom and my dad have been fighting a lot over my boyfriend. My dad hates him and thinks that he is being a bad influence on me, and my mom adores him and is already planning our wedding! What should I do to bring peace to my family? - via Tumblr

JAAG: This is a tricky situation, because it's not just you and your boyfriend but it's also inclusive of your parents as well, and your parents clearly don't see eye to eye on this situation. Sit down with your dad and your mom, and see if you can figure out what causes your dad to feel this way about your boyfriend. For example, is it because he doesn't like his tattoos, or his piercings (if any)? Well, unfortunately these things are almost close to irreversible, but you can manage how you cover up the tattoos or maybe your boyfriend can opt not to wear any piercings when he comes over for dinner. If you really love your boyfriend, that try and make a stand to you dad that you really love him and that you can't part with him. I hope that this doesn't bring anymore adversity to your family, but communication, communication, communication is all I can offer you.

Q: Is it possible that you are a guy doing all this blogging? - Questioning You, via Twitter

JAAG: Is it possible that you are a creep and are creeping me? LOLOLOL  I almost died laughing when I read this.. I can guarantee that I am 100% girl and nothing more than that. Don't believe me? www.mariachelle-annaclare.tumblr.com I'm sure you can find proof there :)

So yeah, you know what? Check out my tumblr. I made sure that there are tons of juicy links there to click and check out stuff, and made sure that they all work and that they can all bring you back here and to my twitter. Cheers!

STAY OUT OF TROUBLE AND DON'T FORGET TO SMILE! If you see me behind the wheel, don't hesitate to wave! ;)

Your lovely new driver,

rachelrae xx

Summer has finally begun...!

Well, it seems that the rain has finally ceased and the sun is shining through my window... about time, Mother Nature. It's July. Come on.

Meanwhile, how goes it? For me, its going pretty well. Aside from the fact that I have some more studying to do this summer, I just got the best news that I could ever ask for in my life.

The key word here is "remission".

I'm finally safe from any harm and danger, and I can go about living life the way a teenager should: carefree with tied down responsibility. I shouldn't have to think every night that this is my last night... I mean, no one does that. It's not normal.

So my doctor told me that, and god, I am so grateful for this news. Thank goodness.

Aside from that, I told everyone that I would answer questions today, and my oh my how you all have responded. This #100truthsaboutme thing that is trending on Twitter was definitely worth it, wasn't it? ;) Although don't let that refrain you from asking questions.. I'm totally open :) Also, I have some questions that I would like to answer as well!

HERE WE GO AGAIN...

Q: There is this guy who likes me, and I really, REALLY like him. The thing is, he goes to the school that my best friend goes to. She tells me how the guy I like has a reputation of being the 'bad guy' at that school and constantly gets in trouble and flirts with other girls. Should I still go for him? - Shocked, via Tumblr

JAAG: There are two ways at looking at this:
The first thing you should realize is that maybe you don't know this boy very well, and maybe, however unfortunate and blunt this may sound, you both are only falling for each other at a skin deep level and nothing more than that, as in, you are only falling for appearances. I would talk to him: try to score some one on one time with him, maybe have lunch or grab a Starbucks with him after school just to see what he is like, but keep in the back of your mind what you heard. I'm not saying that you should judge him, but if something goes horribly wrong, you know why.
The other way you can look at this is that maybe your best friend has a secret agenda. It could be possible that she likes this guy too, and she isn't too pleased that you are moving onto her territory, so she is throwing stuff at you to throw you off. Talk about it with her and see how she reacts. If she is defending her position on how horrible this guy is, you may want to inquire.
Of course, this is all speculation. Talk to these people and work something out, but if either or both of them are making you uncomfortable, you may want to consider new boys and new friends.

Q: My girlfriend always complains that she is ugly, fat or disgusting, even though I tell her all the time that she isn't and its starting to make us fight more and make things complicated. what should I do? - via Tumblr

JAAG: Let me just say that as a girl, we all do that, so know that your girlfriend isn't different ;) Take a deep breath, boy. Tell her in a different way that she is none of those things. This is just a sign of insecurity and she maybe feeling that she isn't good enough for you (and now you are probably thinking, what the hell, i'm your boyfriend! of course I love you!) but a girl's mind is twisted. I know that this is difficult, but bear with her. Show her in different kind gestures how she makes you feel and how much you love her. Spoil her a bit, and show her how much you care. Hopefully she will open her eyes and realize that she is good enough for you and you guys will be able to work something out :)

Q: Truth or dare?  - via Twitter

JAAG: I'm not much of a daredevil, so truth it is. Although sometimes, I end up kicking myself because I don't like the question :P

Q: How tall are you? - via Twitter

JAAG: Not very tall... I have been 5'2" for about three years now ):

Q: Where is the coolest place you have travelled to as of now? - Globetrotter, via Twitter

JAAG: To date, it would probably have to be New Orleans with the school band and choir this past april. New Orleans is one of those places where you wouldn't really go by yourself if you had no idea what you were doing, but the culture and music was so spectacular. I encourage you to go if you ever get the opportunity to! And the food = heaven <3

Q: I saw pictures of you on Tumblr and your body shape is perfect and I want it! How did you do it? - via Tumblr

JAAG: Um, thanks? hahaha.. honestly when I was younger I was a fat kid, so I guess growing up has its perks ;) I don't diet, I actually eat a lot <3 food is my love, you know? So I guess just love yourself, where what you love and what flatters you and just be comfortable in your own skin. There is nothing more attractive than self respect <3

Q: Single or taken? - via Twitter

JAAG: Physically I don't have someone currently to call my own or my boyfriend, but right now my heart is taken by someone. It's not official but you know what, that's cool too. I want things to turn out right this time, so I will let things happen with time :)

Q: What is the one thing you do when you are down? - via Twitter

JAAG: Anytime I am stressed out, angry, or just sad, I blog or write. Usually I write in my journal or sometimes if I am not lazy I will take out my laptop and blog on my journal on Tumblr (check it out: www.thediaryof-rachel.tumblr.com) Oh, and I enjoy writing songs as well. It helps me destress :)

Q: Three words to describe yourself... ready, set, GO! - via Tumblr

JAAG: You caught me off guard there, errrm..
1) Musical 2) Witty 3) Survivor

OKAY so I guess that just about wraps it up! STAY OUT OF TROUBLE AND DON'T FORGET TO SMILE! The rain has started up again; I guess I spoke too soon... thanks everyone for your questions, I promise there will be lots more where this came from!

Btw, I'm taking my road knowledge test sometime this week in hopes of getting my Learners license... wish me luck? ;)

Check out my twitter (@raerachelrae) and my Tumblr (www.mariachelle-annaclare.tumblr.com) for more stuff! <3

Cheers,

rachelrae xx

Bullet for My Valentine, Anyone?

Hello everyone, summer just started and its looking pretty optimistic as of now. I think that the weather is supposed to change, but hopefully the meteorologists in my area are wrong..

Anyhow, this is interesting. I didn't know that girls are so good at getting into fights over nothing and the big reason why is because of misunderstanding. I honestly don't get why we are so good at it, but I guess I should know, because recently I got tied into such a debacle... anyways, wish me luck while I try to sort this mess out... :P

Questions, here we go, let them roll...

Q: Hi JAAG, I was wondering, there is a guy that I really like, but I'm pretty sure he doesn't like me back. What can I do to get over him? - via Email

JAAG: Whoa girl, I don't like that negative attitude you have going on there. What do you mean "I'm pretty sure he doesn't like me back"? No one, not even you, know that until you a) have given it a try or b) he has made it public to you and everyone else that he doesn't like you. If he hasn't done that yet, I say, what have you got to lose? I currently am in the same boat as you, my dear, although I hope that your boy isn't graduated and leaving the school like mine...
Anyways, I say try your luck. The worst that can happen is that he doesn't like you back and that he is completely immature about it. I hope for you that this boy that you have fallen for is one that will take it as a sentiment and flattery as oppsed to getting scared and running in the opposite direction. Keep it light, keep it real. I know it will be difficult to tell him how you feel, but trust me, if you do it in person, you can make sure that you get what you want across, see his reaction, and he will definitely dig your honesty :) Best of Luck!

Q: I recently got a new boyfriend, and he is really into the partying scene. I'm scared that I might get drugged or something, and he isn't too thrilled. He keeps telling me that if I really did love him, I would say yes to the party. - via Tumblr

JAAG: And I say, if he really did love you, he wouldn't think twice about taking you to any party in the near future.
Just reading that made me sick, because honey, you deserve so much better. I'm not even joking. A guy who doesn't respect your morals and boundaries is just not grown up enough for you, and I'm sorry that this may seem blunt, but you have to move on from him. Get out of this relationship stat before things escalate and you find yourself in a situation that you don't want to be in. If he persists that you are breaking his heart, pulls the guilt trip card on you or pursues you after the break up with violence or bullying, tell your parents, teachers, administration, counsellors or a friend that you can trust. Build up a support network before, during, and post break up to prevent anything from happening to you. The last thing you want is to get hurt because you broke up with a guy for the betterment of your life.

Q: What is your biggest fear in life? -via Twitter

JAAG: That's a new one. Well, I'm afraid of bugs. Yes, I said it. I hate spiders and bugs and anything that has more than 4 legs. Its so undesirable.
Aside from that, I'm afraid of getting my heart broken again. Just like any other person, I've been there. The funny thing people tell me is, "oh, you have a relationship advice blog, you must be a relationship guru!" ... In reality, I'm totally not. I'm just an ordinary girl who is looking for her Prince Charming. The only thing I'm remotely close to being a guru on is listening. I enjoy talking with friends and listening if they feel like they have no one that they can talk to. That's why I'm here for you guys. But back to your question, that is probably the biggest thing that I fear, and that is a boy breaking my heart.

So, summer has finally begun! Things are starting to look up.

Someone recently asked me what type of music I listen to.. while I like the pop/Top 40 type of stuff, I;'m kinda leaning over to the metal/emo rock stuff too... :)

STAY OUT OF TROUBLE AND DON'T FORGET TO SMILE!! Summer 2012 only happens once in your life, so live it up! This is my mantra this summer, and I hope that you will make it yours too :)

Take care,

rachelrae xx

Summer?

wow, where has the time gone?? this is total insanity, the school year is over in exactly one week.

Here are some questions that I got that should be answered...

Q: Me and this girl have been dating for a year or so and now i am really tired of being with her 24/7. what should i do? - via Tumblr

JAAG: This should be a warning sign about where your relationship with your girlfriend is going: aka, perhaps nowhere. This is not necessarily a bad thing, but maybe a time for you to wake up to the change that might be needed in your life. Try talking to her, in a non-confrontational way, that you might need some space from her for a while, and see how that goes. Perhaps you feel suffocated from spending all your free time with her and you never really get a chance to hang out with your friends. Suggest to her that you and her should each have a respective guys/girls night out with friends. Hopefully this will ease any tension between you two and make you guys last even stronger :)

Q: I liked this guy ever since i met him in grade 4 (i'm 15 now). i have a friend who i introduced to him a couple months ago and now they are inseparable. I've never gotten one solid coversation with him in the years that i had liked him. what gives? - via email

JAAG: ouch, this kind of situation sucks, and I would know because I have been there before and I currently have to see the ex object of my affection dating a girl that he had just met earlier this school year. This maybe a sign that this guy, (as harsh as it sounds, I'm sorry!) doesn't like you. This, of course, is his sorry loss. You are too good, too amazing, too beautiful to be held back by this guy from liking other guys. I say, let them be. You don't really know if they will really be a 'thing', so why waste your precious time feeling jealous over something that hasn't happened yet? Go out and explore, chica! The world is big, and time's a wasting!

Q: Where are the hottest guys in the world (in your opinion?) - via Twitter

JAAG: ooh, good question! a difficult one though ;) I would have to say that cute guys are everywhere...you just have to find them first. I personallly like Greek guys :)

Q: there is this girl that i like, and everytime i try to talk to her, i freeze up or do something that makes me look like a totally uncoordinated guy or an idiot. what should i do to tell her that i totally like her and that i'm not a total klutz? - weak at the knees , via Tumblr

 

JAAG: Take deep breaths. Tell yourself that you are a great guy, and this girl has nothing to lose if she is caught talking to you. Promote yourself with confidence and wear something that makes you feel happy. Ask something simple: If you have a class with her, ask her how her assignment is going or make a funny impression of a teacher. If you have done your reasearch (you know what i'm talking about if you did), ask her about her hockey team is doing. It's the simple things that can make her day and make her realize that you are a great guy to be with. Good luck!

 

So, if you are looking at the calendar like me, you would realize that, hey, it's summer break just around the corner.

 

OH SHOOT.

That means exams.

I should study.

 

STAY OUT OF TROUBLE AND DON'T FORGET TO SMILE! :) Remember, keep the questions coming! tumblr is an excellent way to, just saying :) Good luck to everyone with exams and stuff, and enjoy summer!

 

rachelrae xx

 

Don't know what went wrong, but I'll try again.

I have no idea what went wrong, everyone! I had posted at least two posts after the most recent one that is currently present on my blog... must be something wrong with the school server >.<

Anyways, here are the long awaited answers to the questions that you asked a long time ago..some relationship based, some just plain interesting. Thanks for everyone's patience!

Q: There is this girl who is constantly flirting with me and getting physical with me. The crazy thing is, I don't like her at all! How can I get her off my back, figuratively and literally? - Creeped Out, via Tumblr

JAAG: I think you better have a one to one talk with her, but before you do, make sure you make your reason known for why you want to have this talk with her. She may be under the impression that you want to be her boyfriend. Some girls tend to do that.
So, the talk. Tll her that you really aren't interested in dating anyone now, and that you would like it a lot better if you just stayed friends (or acquaintances, pick your preference). Let her off easy, and try not to bring in the fact that you feel harrassed. However, if after you talk to her and she still harrasses you, you may want to seek help from the administration at your school to see what can be done. Best of luck on talking to her. I know it will be a difficult and hella awkward conversation, but I think you would probably want to have her keep the harrassment to a minimum... right? ;)

Q: There is a guy that I always flirt with at the bus stop and when we ride the bus together, and he treats me like a princess. But then when  I see him in school he pretends like I don't exist and he never talks to me. What is the deal? - Invisible, via Tumblr

JAAG: Ahh, yes, the alter ego boy. For all we know, this boy may really like you and he is too shy to prove it to you, himself and the world that he does. Give him some time: when you see him in the hallways, give him a small smile to make yourself seem more approachable. Do you share any classes with him? Maybe bring up that nasty book report that you have to turn in next class for English, or maybe an inside joke from Bio. Whatever magic you seem to work on him at the bus stop, try it during lunch or something.
The alternate reason for his strange behaviour could be that he doesn't want to be associated with you in school, which would make him an absolute jerk. Whatever the reason is, ask him about it on the bus. Tell him, "hey, I don't get why we don't talk in school." Watch out for defenses like "We talk plenty" or "You just don't talk to me". If he brings those in, you may want to question whether or not this is a good friend to keep. If he apologizes and gives you what you feel is a valid reason... then maybe this could the beginning of a beautiful friendship.. and possibly more.

Q: There is this guy that I have been so close to for such a long time. His girlfriend broke up with him a couple months ago, and now my friends think that I should date him. I kind of like him too, because I know that he deserves someone a lot better than his ex, and I also know that I can be that better girl for him. The thing is, I know that his ex is out to get me. - The Better Choice for Him, via Tumblr

JAAG: Strange as this may be, I have been the 'ex that is out to get ________" very recently. I'd like to say, in the ex's defense, that it would be kind of frustrating to see an ex treat someone else the way they have never been treated.
To answer your question, ask yourself these questions: Do you really like this guy? What are the qualities that you see in this guy that you value? Is there anything that you dislike about this guy? Are you willing to look past his imperfections? Are you ready for a steady relationship? Is he ready? You should know the answers to these questions before you make an serious decisions, just to avoid future problems and regrets. Whether or not his ex is out to get you is besides the point, but the real question should be, are you out to get his ex? If you are, why are you trying to make her jealous and hate you more? Of course if this is totally way off from your intention, then fine. But make sure that you truly know what you want to date this boy so that you don't break his heart or have anyone after you.

Q: My girlfriend broke up with me because I was too 'clingy'. What does that mean, and do you think  I can get a second chance with her? - Clingy, via Twitter

JAAG: Your ex, like myself, must be an independent person. When a person is too clingy, it means that they are constantly in need of approval from the ones that they love and will constantly follow them around. There are a lot of people that are like that, so you don't need to feel like you are the only one. However, 'clingy' is sometimes the nicer way of saying that people are 'insecure' with themselves.
As for a second chance, I'm probably the wrong person to ask. You should probably ask your ex to see if she will give you one. Sometimes, though, it is better to take the lessons you have learned and turn it into something great so that next time, you know a little more.

Q: This isn't really a relationship question, but would you go lesbian for a really attractive girl? - Curious, via Tumblr

JAAG: First and foremost, let me put it out there that I am not a lesbian, nor do I intend on being one. I would also like to say that I am not against those who are gay and lesbian. I have a couple gay friends and a lesbian friend as well. Also, my ex is bi. So I am freely open to everyone.
To answer your question, I don't really know how to define an 'attractive' girl because I personally am attracted to guys, obviously. I could tell you "That girl is dressed very pretty today" or "She's cute" but I could never be attracted to one because that's just not me. So no, I don't think I'd become as lesbian for an attractive girl because I don't know the first thing about what makes one girl more attractive than another.

Q: Who are your celebrity crushes and why? - via Twitter

JAAG: How did you know that I had more than one?? ;) Well, I think my first and favourite crush would have to be Logan Henderson from Big Time Rush. I like the whole band and find all of them cute, but Logan is by far my favourite. He is really attractive and sensitive.
I also like Irish boy Niall Horan from One Direction! He is different looking from the other boys, and that's probably why I like him so much! Plus, the Irish accent is amazing!
Singer and piano player Josh Groban is yet another one of my celebrity crushes. He's just amazing - I'm always mesmerized by the way he plays, and his voice is like the voice of an angel. He's also funny and just cute. His curly hair just draws me in <3


Anyways, thanks again to everyone for their patience. STAY OUT OF TROUBLE AND DON'T FORGET TO SMILE. There are only about three weeks left of school, let's live it up, and best of luck the Grad 2012! :)

rachelrae xx