Questions Revisited Again :)

So hey. Haven't written in a while. I guess life keeps you busy, and it just goes on, right? Raaaaiight..
Got some questions that I should answer, shouldn't I? Here we go.. thanks for being so patient! :)

Q: you're blog is so cute - i have a question though. my boyfriend and i have been dating for six months, and i think that i've had enough of him. honestly, its boring. what can i do? should i break up with him or try to make our love last? - via Tumblr

JAAG: Boring, hmm? Honestly, there is really nothing I can say that can make you change your mind, or change the fact that you aren't so in love with the guy like you used to be. My advice would be to go and talk to him, and tell him how you feel. Don't, however, make this one big guessing game for him. It's bad enough that he's a confused guy (face it, between us as girls, we know that boys can sometimes be just as confused about life as we are!) But yeah. You have to get the communication aspect out there. Like I said, no amount of preaching can change the fact that you may or may not be pulling away from the guy. Try to help yourself out by asking yourself how you feel about the whole situation as it stands. Then, talk to him like you've never talked to him before.

Q: I can't get over my girlfriend. what gives? - NOT OVER HER via Twitter

JAAG: Hey, everyone gets like that some days, and let me tell you, I hear you out there. Sometimes it does, especially since at this age, we think that love will last forever and we'll all be happy. Reality is, something is bound to happen, and we should be ready for when it is.
Now, as for how you can get over her, I would say block out everything that reminds you over her - letters, pictures, her number in her phone, a song you both like... ultimately, you'll have to move on some time. Granted, everyone needs time to heal. But this will help you in the long run, I promise. Tell yourself that you aren't going to let the fact that things didn't work out get you down. You got this. Go out somewhere alone, maybe talk a walk, and tell yourself that things are going to get better. And I know they will. :)

Q: I found a guy I like, but I don't know how to approach him and tell him. Thoughts? - via Twitter

JAAG: Hey, we're in the same boat! :P Hahaha, yes, I know how difficult it is to be in your shoes, for I have been there many, many times! I think you should just be genuine, just be yourself around this guy. Don't do anything out of the ordinary, get to know the kid, and don't stalk him, don't pressure him, don't try and cave him in. That might scare him, even if you have the best intentions. I think that it would be best for you to just feel your way around this first and talk to him about his life, his likes and dislikes before you make the dive into *I love you* land. Besides, it's fun having a crush. And I would know, because one time I told a guy flat out that I liked him. Let's just say that things were a tad awkward afterwards... :)

Q: Does it really hurt a girl if I go out with another girl right after we broke up? Some of my friends think I should just so that I can get over the fact that she dumped me, but others say that it's rebounding. What's your take? - via Email

JAAG: My humble opinion reading that: the word "Rebound" is bouncing around inside my brain. Depending on if this girl has a heart (which I'm frankly hoping that she does to some extent), she's going to feel the pinch that her ex is using other girls to rebound off of her. In a way, I would say don't cut yourself off from girls, because girls need guys and vice versa. We put a different spin on things for each other. That being said, don't become overly flirty with girls. I know this is bad on a female standpoint, but girls are overanalytical and we over think things about you guys, things that perhaps aren't true, but it's what we see.
So I would say, yeah, it would hurt her. In my personal experience, I've had guys rebounding off of me, even though we weren't dating. I just told the guy I couldn't date him because I wasn't interested in dating anyone, and he went off and began dating someone else. I never said I didn't like the guy in the way that I did; we were both crushing on each other, but the fact was that the time wasn't right, and he didn't want to wait.
Just watch your actions and how you interact with girls.. and you should be fine. Don't lead anyone on, and just be you.

Q: My boyfriend broke up with me a while ago because she said that there was nothing happening in our relationship. Now he wants to get back together. ??? - The Heck? via Email

JAAG: That is a tricky one. On one hand, you should be running further away because I sense that something is up. He shouldn't have broken up with you in the first place if he thought that, and he definitely shouldn't be so inconsistent. I would talk to him, and ask him exactly why he was being so inconsistent. This is not only somewhat confusing for you, but it could lead to eventually more problems in the future if things don't work out again, and your self-esteem is definitely worth far more than that. And if he gives the reason "Because I love you and I made a mistake", you really have to do your research to see if he really is genuine.. and truly does deserve a second chance at your heart.


For once, I finally cleared out my inbox! But I know that once this goes up I'll get a flood of more questions too, but that's okay, because I enjoy doing this. I'm also glad that you guys like reading it so much!

So yeah, as for life now, things are looking up. I'm finally healing from the wounds that I'll admit are self-inflicted, but everything is going well, thank goodness. And on top of that, I found a new inspiration. I wrote a new song, and I have to say it's one of the best songs I've written in a while. I've been stuck in a rut, and I finally found a new and exciting inspiration. It's called "Falling for Your Innocence", and no, I don't plan on posting it anytime soon. :)

STAY OUT OF TROUBLE AND DON'T FORGET TO SMILE! Report card in hand, now I know.. I should be working harder ;)

Peace and love, and hopefully the Tumblr World will cooperate with me another day,

rachelrae xx

tumblr, back and ready :)

hi everyone! so the news is, i'm back on tumblr. i have set up an ask box so that you can even ask your questions there, and from there i will answer them here! you don't need to be a member of tumblr to ask these questions, and it will be all anonymous. you can leave a cute "nickname" if you want to! :)

http://rchlwngxx.tumblr.com

click the 'Ask' box and that should get you to the part where you ask the questions. Enjoy! There is a lot of BTR, 1D, and other random stuff up there. And I promise, once i get the new questions, i'll tackle them. I look forward to seeing your tumblr stuff! :)


STAY OUT OF TROUBLE AND DON'T FORGET TO SMILE! cheers, and happy Easter\!

rachelrae xx

Thank God it's [Good] Friday

Hello everyone! Today is Good Friday, the day my Lord, my Saviour, died on the cross for my salvation and for the salvation of mankind. He extended His arms on the cross so that we might live. I am so blessed to be raised in such a religion and to live in a country where you have freedom of religion. Praise the Lord!

Today will not be a question answer post today. Nope, today will be a recap of life.

So how is everyone this fine evening that God has granted for us today? After a month and a bit since "the incident of all incidents, in my humble opinion", things have begun to look up. Everything seems to be on the better side of things, and I seem to have a slightly better handle on things than I did before.

Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I didn't take the course of action that I did. Would things be different? Would I be a different person? Would we still be able to make the love last, even though in my eyes, we were coming to a close?

I guess there are no regrets. I should know better. I should know what I want, what not to do, and what I should be looking for before I stick my oar into the water. It saves you from a lot of trouble.

Love is forever, if it is with God.

Love is also blind, selfish, and deceitful. You don't realize that maybe, just maybe, the person that you are so in love with is actually the wrong type of person God wants you to be with. You don't realize that until you surrender yourself. It becomes selfish when you are only focussing on yourself and how perfect you want the love to be, by following your own agenda. It deceitful when you think you are doing the right thing, you think you are with the right person, you think that this really is true love, but you have already been deceived.

I hate to admit it, but that used to be me. I recognize that now. I understand that there really is no point in looking for something that does not exist. There is one match for me out there, and I know God has a plan for the two of us. I just can't see it yet.

Instead, focus more on what God wants you to do, instead of what you think God should do for you. It will save you more time to be happy.

This is a song that we were supposed to sing at the service. Unfortunately, too little time, many songs prepared. Oh well, have a listen....

"Above All" (from Youtube) - such a beautiful song. He was here for us, He made us, and He will always be here for us.

Questions next time, I promise you. STAY OUT OF TROUBLE AND DON'T FORGET TO SMILE!

Have a wonderful and blessed Easter everyone!

love,

rachelrae xx

Happy Saturday!

Wow, I woke up this morning to the sound of birds chirping and sun streaming through my window. What a beautiful day! :)

I have a couple Twitter questions from my lovely blog readers. Here we go, I promised I would answer them, didn't I?

Q: How do i get a guy that i don't like AT ALL to stop following me around? - Stalker Trouble, via Twitter

JAAG: You should talk to him, but don't make it too personal but also, don't do this in front of his friends either to hurt his ego. Pull him aside and tell him exactly how you feel about him and your friendship with him (if there is any friendship in existence). But no flirty moves! Just be yourself and make it simple. Good luck!

Q: There is this guy that showed interest in me, but after one date, he disappeared. What happened? - Disappearing Date, via Twitter

JAAG: There are two scenarios that I can think up after reading this: 1) He is a total player, and he was just stringing you along as another "score". This is unfortunate, but the truth is, some guys do that for the thrill and to show off to their guy friends. The other scenario might be just as valid, 2) He really is interested in you, but now he feels like he is too vulnerable and too far in. He wants to take things slow, and is scared about how you feel. What I can suggest is to Facebook the guy or call him, and see what he says. If there is no response, then you know what to expect, which isn't much. If he seems a little interested, then keep talking about things that got you both interested in each other in the first place.

Q: Do you believe in fate and soulmates? - Starry Eyed, via Twitter

JAAG: hahaha, this is a cute one. Honestly, what I do believe in is that there is a right person for everyone, because we all have a plan for us from God. I've been hurt enough to learn that there really aren't such things as fairy tales and Prince Charmings. The only way I will believe in stuff like that is when there really is one that asks me to a first date and ends up marrying me... so I guess, in a twisted way I do, but I wouldn't call it soulmates and fate, I would call it God's plan. :)

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Anyways, Thanks for all the Twitter questions! Keep them coming, guys! Don't forget, you can get your questions me through email or through my personal Twitter, @raerachelrae, or the blog twitter, @JAAG143.

Enjoy the rest of the spring break weekend, its all we got until we're back in school! :)

STAY OUT OF TROUBLE AND DON'T FORGET TO SMILE! I'd like to dedicate this song to all the spring break-ers out there: enjoy the sunshine, we finally have some!

This makes me think of summery days, even though its still spring. Big Time Rush - "City is Ours"

Own the weekend, and enjoy!

Love,
rachelrae xx

Spring Break Continued...

Oh the joys of staying at home during spring break. Makes you wish you were back at school.. for me, anyways :)

Ever since I answered the last question, I am happy to say that I was bombarded with even more questions! I guess now would be an appropriate time to go back and answer them.. and I also adore the little names you give yourselves.. it makes me feel like a real advice columnist :) Here we go :

Q: So I met this girl at a party and we had a ton of fun, and she called the the day after to talk to me and ask if I wanted to hang out some time. When I met her at the place that she wanted us to meet at, she was not only late but she was with another guy. What gives? - One Night Stand? via email

JAAG: I guess now we know why our parents are so overprotective of us and talking to strangers...
But all joking aside, now you know not to pursue her, because it's just a waste of your time. These are what we like to note as "party hookups" which 95% of the time are just based on sheer highs of fiction and the so called love you thought you shared during that night. Sorry to burst your bubble, but even if you felt like she was the one, she only viewed you as a one night stand.
On the brighter side of things, now you know what you are looking for in a relationship, and what type of girls are worth your time. Obviously this one wasn't, so go find one that will love you back completely.

Q: There is a boy that works at Starbucks that I think is really cute, but I have absolutely no guts to go up and talk to him! Just giving him my order is traumatizing enough! I have a hunch that he is flirting with me too.. but I will never know for sure. What should I do? - Falling for Starbucks, via email

JAAG: I must admit, I laughed a little when I read this because it's so cute! I wish all Starbucks workers were cute, then us girls would all be happy :)
I think you should make an effort to conquer your fear of talking to this boy without stumbling. If what you suspect is true and he is flirting with you, be fearless! Comment on something small first, like the weather or maybe the Starbucks special for the week. Ask his opinion on what reccommends... and suddenly, you find yourself having a smooth conversation with the boy of your dreams.

Q: My girlfriend and I have been dating for only 2 months, but suddenly I feel like things are really boring. What can I do to make things better? - 2 months 2 soon, via Twitter

JAAG: Ask yourself this: Why does it feel like to you that things are "Boring"? If you can answer that, then ask yourself this: Do you really want to continue this relationship, or is this something that you feel that it should end? Would you work hard enough to make things work out for the two of you?
If you want to make things work, then try and do something special for not just you but for her as well: do something spontaneous. Instead of the standard movie and dinner date, set up a picnic in the park or moonlit walk on the beach. Do something daring and different that tells her, "Hey, you're special and I want to share these memories with you."
On the other hand, if you feel like this is too much for you and it's time to pull the plug, then I say sooner than later. Don't lead her on, but don't full out ignore her either to prove a point. Make it a point to talk to her privately to explain how you feel. Tell her that things aren't working out but try not to put the blame on her for this uneventful relationship. Either way, hopefully this works out for you and her!

Q: I broke up with this guy last year, and things have been pretty rocky between us. Now we are back on speaking terms, but I heard from a couple people that he likes me still and wants to get back together with me. The only thing I want from him is to stay friends now that normal has returned. I'm not interested in him anymore like that. What should I do to tell him how I feel? - Not Interested, via email

JAAG: Again I say, better sooner than later. He needs to know how you feel, and he needs to hear it from you and not your friend or his friend or through the rumour mill. Tell him the truth, but keep it concise and to the point. "I want to focus on being friends with you now" is better than "I'm not interested in dating you right now because I want to focus on other things." Obviously no one has the right to force you into liking this guy, but you want to make it known to him that the only thing holding you back from starting a relationship with him is not external influence, but something within you.

Q: I broke up with my girlfriend because I found that she was too clingy. Lately I have found that I'm missing her more. What gives? - Bipolar Dater, via Twitter

JAAG: In my eyes, I see two different types of break ups: the "It's not you, it's me" break up and the "You cheated on me, you selfish idiot" break up. Your break up is probably the first one, which is common.
Usually when a person breaks up with another for the first reason (it's not you, it's me), they will find that now that they are single, the person that they broke up with seems more attractive, and all of a sudden you miss the idea of being in a relationship in general. So maybe it's not really the fact that you miss her, its the idea of you being in a relationship that you miss. This is understandable, but it doesn't to happen to everyone. For example, one time I broke up with someone and I missed the idea of being in a relationship, and I missed the guy. Another time I broke up with someone and after the break up, I felt more liberated than ever before. Different people leave different impressions on their once significant others.
The other break up leads one to feel totally liberated that they aren't with the selfish person holding them down from living their life the way they want to. In that circumstance, no one is really missed. Well, maybe the one that cheated will realize how wrong they were in the end...
In conclusion, you broke up with her for a reason. That's totally understandable. Now your task is this: 1) don't get a rebound, because its not fair to that person; and 2) don't be inconsistent. Sure, you could still be friends with this girl, but if you find that you are flirting with her and sending her texts like you did in the past to lead her on, STOP. It's not fair to her. This isn't to say that maybe somewhere down the road you will both be given a second chance.. but I think you should both cool down from this relationship before either of you go find another potential soulmate.. or get back together with each other.

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oh, and one other question that I found totally random and totally unrelated to questions that I usually see in m inbox...

Q: JAAG, are you bi? - Just Curious, via Twitter

JAAG: *tries to stop laughing*
Ahem.
Well, no. I have friends that are both guys and girls. I am romantically attracted to guys, and I never really have been romantically attracted to girls. Of course, girls seem to act more bi than guys. I love hugs and yes, I tend to use the word "love" a lot.. but yeah. I have nothing against people with that orientation, but I don't personally feel that way for girls.
My question is, why the curiousity? :P

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Anyways, there are some questions for you to pore over. Enjoy the spring break while it lasts, its creeping up on us and its going to come to a close real soon unfortunately..

STAY OUTA TROUBLE AND DON'T FORGET TO SMILE! Here is some music for you to listen to...

I have a new found love for the British boy band One Direction. Enjoy, all you Directioners out there :)

love and such,

rachelrae xx

Spring Break Commence...

Sorry for not writing for a while... things have been hectic! But now spring break has finally started and now we can all chill out for once. Especially me, who finds that living life at school is sometimes very confusing and difficult and weird. Nevertheless I try, very hard, to be a regular person.

One question struck me, very deeply I must say, so I thought that I should answer it the next time I got the opportunity to blog...

..Which would be now :)

Q: JAAG, my boyfriend and I have been going out for almost a year now. I don't know what changed, but everytime he sees me he walks the other way, or is very secretive about his plans, or doesn't even let me help him with math, a class he is failing in and has always come to me for help! A couple of my friends said that they saw him kissing another girl (a senior at our school, no less!) and at first I didn't believe him. But then today I was at the mall with my sister and I saw him walking hand in hand with the girl that my friends said he was kissing before. I didn't confront him, and he called me a couple hours ago like everything was normal. What should I do??? - via email

JAAG: Firstly, I am so, so sorry to hear that this guy, whom you call the love of your life, would do something to you like that after being with you for that long of a time period! I think that it's time to face the facts: this guy isn't worthy enough. If he was the one for you, he wouldn't be getting all antsy after a year of dating. If he was into you, he would be trying to make it work and make you realize that he is the one for you so that you could date for a longer time and then eventually get married when the time is right!

Sadly, most high school relationships don't end very well. I would know, I've been there myself. You have to ask yourself if this relationship is making you happy. Why is it that he turns and walks the other way when he sees you? Why is it that he is all secretive about his weekend plans? Why doesn't he let you help him? Take these as signs of warning, babe.

Talk to your boy about this. Tell him how you make him feel, and also tell him that you caught him with another girl that isn't you. Tell him that he should make himself known, whether he wants in or out of the relationship, and be prepared for any answer he throws your way. If he says, "Yeah, I want out," then don't be sad. Feel LIBERATED. You are an independent woman who doesn't need a guy like that to hold her down.

However, if he says that he still wants to make this work, you are going to have to think about whether or not you are ready to make it work after everything he has done to you. IF you feel like you can help the situation, then I say go for it. Sadly, most people after seeing what their significant other has messed up can only feel like its time to move on, myself included. Does he make you happy? Does the idea of you being with him in a romantic relationship make you happy? If the answer is no, then I think you should take a step back and reassess. Trust me, when the time is right, you'll know. As for now, do what you need to do, and best of luck! ;) 

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As I said, it's SPRING BREAK! at first, I didn't really have any concrete plans- my younger sister has a better social life than I do ;) After becoming an independent woman who doesn't really act much as a socialite, it would appear that I am a loner.

Guilty.

I was pleasantly surprised Sunday night by my best friend Aaron. He goes to school in Toronto and is on the other side of the country. He told me that there was no chance of him visiting this year because he had aa seminar and retreat to attend, so I hung my head and said, "Fine, I'll see you some other time."

I was out with my friend the other day at the mall doing some intense shopping. "Girl time," my friend Roxanna called it. "Since you are a new, fabulous, single girl."

When I let myself into the what I thought was an empty house, I walked into the family room and saw that there was Josh Groban on the TV screen. It was the DVD menu to his "Awake" tour, filmed in Salt Lake City. I love Josh groban so much, he has an amazing voice. I told Aaron before that I would love to see him in concert.. if he ever came to Vancouver again. Sitting on the couch was my friend Aaron. "Now you can seem Josh Groban in concert," he said.

Apparently my family, his family, and my friends had been in on this the whole time. He surprised me.

After the shock wore off, I asked him about his seminar and retreat. Pulling me into a hug he simply said that "he made that part up."

We watched it together, from start to finish, and I enjoyed every minute of it with him. Not just that, but he is staying the rest of the spring break with me. Finally, I have plans! :)
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Oh well, here we go again. After this week, the next check point would be New Orleans. More on that later :)

Enjoy your spring break, don't get too rowdy. Stay safe, stay out of trouble, and don't forget to smile!

Love from your online so-called 'relationhip counsellor who is totally under certified but learns from life experience..'

rachelrae xx

meh.

The pounding headache doesn't let up. It just doesn't go away.

Other than that, life is fine. To some extent.

Do you ever wonder why some people do the things they do? People can be so irrational sometimes, and sometimes I feel like I have to go change them. To be the one that changes the world.

Unfortunately, that will never happen because I will never be able to do that. That, and stand some irrational people.

Now you just sit and wait and think to yourself, hopefully, that this world will be a better place.