The world is certainly changing, sometimes faster than I myself can keep up with.
It's sometimes scary to know that you thought you had everything thought out. You once had a decent plan for things, and for a while, the fantasy I lived in was a dream come true.
But eventually you wake up from the fantasy and realize things aren't always what they seem. It happens to us all the time, and as much as we wish that things won't change and that we will remain as innocent human beings with a thirst for adventure and imagination, we grow up. We mature. We move on.
Love is one of those things. Love is an illusion: one moment you are on top of the world. The next thing you know you have been knocked down by all your wants and dreams. The mirror which once stared back at you has been shattered, just like your heart, metaphorically.
Once upon a time, it was me and him, him and I. Nothing could stop us. He made my dreams come true a couple months ago, during a time when I knew that the last thing I needed was a relationship.
Things change, and people change. The things we do for love are so many.
So I fell. I fell faster than I ever fell before, maybe because I was hurting from the last time, maybe because I wanted something new, maybe because I was young and crazy. I still am by the way, but I'm older now that I have found the other side of him.
We had our whirlwind romance. He was my knight of shining armour. But eventually even the fabric began to fade, and all I am left with is a bunch of used-to-be's and a faded fabric. Life became confusing and saddening, all because I realized that this is not where I'm meant to be.
I don't regret anything, I said. I told him that maybe things were moving too fast and now, all I needed was to focus on getting better, to be a better friend, and to get things sorted out.
He said fine. I love you. Hopefully we can stay friends.
BUT YOU CHANGED AFTER THAT. You became different from what I remember you to be. You aren't the guy I fell for last summer. You are DIFFERENT.
Now all of a sudden, the friends I thought I knew have nothing to say to me. They want nothing to do with me. I haven't spoken to some of them in ages, and it's all too ironic considering the timeline of events.
Did you even think twice before clicking the 'X' in the top right hand corner of the conversation window when I asked you why? Did you realize how much it hurt me to see that you sign off everytime I sign on?
If this is what you want, if this is what you truly mean by "you loving me" and "wanting to remain friends", then you can keep it. I'm not one for toxic relationships. I can only deal with so much, I can only tolerate so far, so you can forget about keeping me as a friend.
If you didn't like me in the first place, all you had to do was say so. You didn't have to become the president of the hate club.
But you know what? Life is too short to live in the pretense that everyone hates you. You can't go around pleasing everyone. You can try, but it gets tiring after a while. Live your life honestly, live righteously, and you'll have a halo that no one can ignore. Just be the best you can be, and people will see that they should have listened to your side of the story in the first place.
That's my little soapbox right there.
So now, I'm going to move on. I don't need you to dictate how I live my life or how to enjoy it. I have better things to do.
Please pray with me for the little 2 year old girl from the Midwest in the States. The Midwest area recently suffered extensive tornado damage. This little girl was found very far away from her home in an empty field. She is currently in critical condition, but her parents, older brother and sister are all dead. She has no family in the area left to return to, so please pray for her so that she gets better soon and for the repose of her family's souls. May they, and all others who have died rest in peace.
Stay out of trouble and don't forget to smile. You only have one life, so live it up to its full worth and potential.
love and such,
rachelrae
Smile!
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Questions, for me, about me?...
Good morning everyone~! I begin a four day weekend today, and after this weekend, I have four weeks of uninterrupted school. Yay...
So this was interesting.. I was checking my email and there were people asking me questions (seems normal enough..) but when I actually read through them one, two, three times, it turns out that they were asking quesitons about me and my life! I also got a couple from the Twitterverse as well.. let's see how this pans out :) of course this is all left anonymous.. to the rest of the world, that is :)
1. What do you look for in a guy.. or are you a girl looking for a girl? - via Twitter
JAAG: BAHAHAHAHA.. LOL I can tell you for sure that I gave my blog the domain name it currently has for a reason.. because I am a legit girl. What I look for in a guy are three things: Respect, Catholicism, and Responsibility. Being cute and funny is a total bonus, but I would prefer dating someone who was Catholic. Jesus is my number one, after all :)
2. Why did you come up with this blog? - via Twitter
JAAG: Honestly? This blog started out as an outlet for me to post my thoughts and post random music and bits for myself since all my friends were on Tumblr. I got a Tumblr too, but eventually it locked me out. I tried again but then I was like, "Whatever" and ditched it. Eventually some of my friends got hold of it and sent me questions about their relationship problems.. and then other people caught onto it.. and here we are in the present day. You guys are the reason for this blog.
3. What do you like to listen to in terms into music? - via Twitter
JAAG: Wow, that is probably a really difficult question for me to answer. I like a lot of different stuff. Here, I'll list some: Big Time Rush, Faber Drive, Marianas Trench, One Direction, Scouting for Girls, The Classic Crime, Simple Plan, Breaking Benjamin, Hedley, Red Jumpsuit Apparatus.. as you can tell I like boy bands. I also like Theo Tams, Michael Buble, Lady Antebellum, Katy Perry, Matthew Morrison, Rihanna, Taylor Swift.. There isn't a certain genre of music that I put myself under, I just like listening to stuff.
4. How would you describe your sense of style? - via BloggerMail
JAAG: When I was 11, 12 ish, I used to be obsessed with labels. Now being older, I know how stupid that kinda is, and I'm stuck with 1/3 of a wardrobe filled with stuff from various brand name stores. I really like shopping overseas or getting stuff from Richmond. Being Asian, I really like the idea of "Asian Influence" in my clothes, with a bit of North American pieces in my clothes. My favourite piece of clothing in my wardrobe right now would have to be my pink faux-leather jacket.
5. What do you like to do for fun? - via Twitter
JAAG: Contrary to Internet belief, I actually do enjoy blogging here for you guys. It's always interesting to answer your guys' questions. I also like to write songs and play the guitar and piano. When I'm not in a musical mood, I like to read magazines. Most of the time I end up doing homework :)
well that was quite interesting! keep those questions coming, and don't forget to stay out of trouble and don't forget to smile! cheers!
rachelrae xx
So this was interesting.. I was checking my email and there were people asking me questions (seems normal enough..) but when I actually read through them one, two, three times, it turns out that they were asking quesitons about me and my life! I also got a couple from the Twitterverse as well.. let's see how this pans out :) of course this is all left anonymous.. to the rest of the world, that is :)
1. What do you look for in a guy.. or are you a girl looking for a girl? - via Twitter
JAAG: BAHAHAHAHA.. LOL I can tell you for sure that I gave my blog the domain name it currently has for a reason.. because I am a legit girl. What I look for in a guy are three things: Respect, Catholicism, and Responsibility. Being cute and funny is a total bonus, but I would prefer dating someone who was Catholic. Jesus is my number one, after all :)
2. Why did you come up with this blog? - via Twitter
JAAG: Honestly? This blog started out as an outlet for me to post my thoughts and post random music and bits for myself since all my friends were on Tumblr. I got a Tumblr too, but eventually it locked me out. I tried again but then I was like, "Whatever" and ditched it. Eventually some of my friends got hold of it and sent me questions about their relationship problems.. and then other people caught onto it.. and here we are in the present day. You guys are the reason for this blog.
3. What do you like to listen to in terms into music? - via Twitter
JAAG: Wow, that is probably a really difficult question for me to answer. I like a lot of different stuff. Here, I'll list some: Big Time Rush, Faber Drive, Marianas Trench, One Direction, Scouting for Girls, The Classic Crime, Simple Plan, Breaking Benjamin, Hedley, Red Jumpsuit Apparatus.. as you can tell I like boy bands. I also like Theo Tams, Michael Buble, Lady Antebellum, Katy Perry, Matthew Morrison, Rihanna, Taylor Swift.. There isn't a certain genre of music that I put myself under, I just like listening to stuff.
4. How would you describe your sense of style? - via BloggerMail
JAAG: When I was 11, 12 ish, I used to be obsessed with labels. Now being older, I know how stupid that kinda is, and I'm stuck with 1/3 of a wardrobe filled with stuff from various brand name stores. I really like shopping overseas or getting stuff from Richmond. Being Asian, I really like the idea of "Asian Influence" in my clothes, with a bit of North American pieces in my clothes. My favourite piece of clothing in my wardrobe right now would have to be my pink faux-leather jacket.
5. What do you like to do for fun? - via Twitter
JAAG: Contrary to Internet belief, I actually do enjoy blogging here for you guys. It's always interesting to answer your guys' questions. I also like to write songs and play the guitar and piano. When I'm not in a musical mood, I like to read magazines. Most of the time I end up doing homework :)
well that was quite interesting! keep those questions coming, and don't forget to stay out of trouble and don't forget to smile! cheers!
rachelrae xx
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Sorry for the delay - now onto the Questions of the Day!
Well, first off, I believe this is the first post of the new year, is it not? HAPPY 2012 EVERYONE!
Sorry I haven't written in so long... coming back from Christmas vacation I was expecting a lot of catch up.. but opening up my email I never would have expected close to 4 whole pages of new questions!
So let's go through these, see how many we can go through, shall we? ;)
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1) How far is too far with my girlfriend? She wants to go all the way, and I want to too, but I don't want to regret anything. - via email
JAAG: Firstly, if you are asking that question with hesitation, this shows that even you yourself don't really know what you want out of this relationship. If you really loved her and you really did want to go all the way with her, then you wouldn't have second thoughts about doing something that you regret because you know she is the one. Of course, with us adolecents being at such a young age, it's hard to know whether or not we really did find true love. 8 times out of 10, the love you find in high school won't be the one you end up walking down the aisle with 10, 15 years into the future.
Secondly, if you are having doubts, I think you should talk to her about it. Please remember, though: what you are wanting to do is something permanent and cannot be erased. The best protection against a future that you may not be ready for is to not do anything at all and wait. That is my personal moral view on this. of course, I can't stop you from doing what you want, but seriously: if you have doubts, you might need to go back to the drawing board to see what's up. You could save yourself from a potential heartbreak if you find the source immediately.
2) JAAG, there is this guy that I have like forever, but he never liked me back. Now, there is this new girl in my grade, and two weeks in she is already making out with the guy of my dreams. Is he just a jerk or am I just too in love with him to see his flaws? - via email
JAAG: you do realize that both of your questions at the end of your email there both mean the same thing, right? ;) But that's not the point, I guess...
Well, let me be the first to tell you that I have also felt that jealousy too. This is a guy that you have dreamed of dating, the perfect prince to be part of your perfect fairytale. But maybe you have been so busy fantasizing the endless possibilities on how he could sweep you off yoru feet when you should be focussing on the fact that he likes to discriminate against people who are not on the basketball team. If you yourself are a strong believer of anti-bullying, then this should be a big warning sign telling you to drop the crush because he is a jerk. I don't want to make efalse accusations about the girl, either, but it seems to me like they are pretty happy with each other, maybe because they are both jerks themselves (too late :P) any how, MOVE ON. You'll be happier, I promise, when you find someone that likes you back for who you are.
3) I want to introduce my girlfriend to my parents, but everytime I have a free date, she comes up with an excuse. The first couple times, I got that she had a dentist appointment or had to go visit her grandmother in the hospital, but tutoring her sister? She doesn't have a sister! What does all this mean? - via email
JAAG: My mother gave me one important advice when I first told her about my first crush: "When things get really serious, bring him home. If he genuinely wants to meet us, then you can see how much he wants to be a part of your life. However, if he is avoiding the topic of family altogether, then that should be a red flag right there."
OKAY. So she is avoiding the topic of, 'hey, I want you to meet my family..' with absolutely terrible ninja skills. Here's the thing: maybe she is just nervous (that is the absolute weakest benefit of the doubt right there). So ask her. Ask her why she is avoiding this topic (you can start along the lines of, 'I know for a fact that you don't have a sister to tutor...) and gage her response. If you can tell that she is bluffing, maybe you should set up a time for the two of you to understand each other a little more. Ask her why she is doing this to you. Of course, this could lead to a) her telling you that she is sorry for lying, she's actually quite scared of meeting your parents, and you guys will go on saturday; or b) you find out that she has been cheating on you.
From one extreme to another, that's how it will play out. I must say though, unfortunately, option b) is the more likely one. Usually people coming up with lame excuses to avoid something usually means that something is up. Check out the situation, and best of luck!
4) there is this girl that is terribly desperate. she is constantly throwing herself at me and trying to draw all attention to herself. I don't really like her (correction: not at all). how can I politely decline her? - via email
JAAG: This is a tricky situation. How ironic though, for me to be listening to David Archuleta's 'Desperate' on my Windows Media Player while writing this answer out for this question... hmm...
Well, if you genuinely don't like her, I don't think that it is fair for either of you to be in an awkward situation. Go talk to her in private. Tell her, 'Hey, I think you're a nice girl and everything, but I think we would be better off friends.' That will tell her, somewhat indirectly, that you don't share the same feelings for her as she does. But please, don't do this in front of her friends. Catch her alone, make straight eye contact with her, and avoid anything like a hug of consolation or even touching her hand/shoulder, etc. Your words will hit her, but any unnecessary touch to her will lead her to believe that you are lying to her and that now, she should try harder. Make your intent clear, keep your hands in your pockets, and speak with a polite but firm voice. Good luck!
5) My mom doesn't understand my boyfriend. He is really into all the punk music and dresses in all black leather and studs. She thinks that he is a gangster, when really he is the type that wouldn't hurt a fly. How can I convince her to give him a chance? - via email
JAAG: The best way would be to convince both your mom and your boyfriend that you should all have dinner together. Invite him over, and tell your mom that he really wants to meet her. If this is all successful, then when the conversation starts, try to steer clear of the topic of his clothes or taste of music off to the side for later when both your boyfriend and your mom are warmed up. If the topics ever do come up (which you should prep your boyfriend about), stay calm and don't start hallucinating. Let your boyfriend handle this and just watch from the sidelines. Hopefully your cutie will be able to help your mom see a different side of him!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The snow has returned, somewhat. Life is also somewhat back to normal.
My @JAAG twitter got an @reply the other day: @JAAG how is everything doing with your beau?
And here is my response to that: Things are okay. They aren't the best, but things will get better. I learned this from listening to Matthew Morrison's "Still Got Tonight" : "It's gonna get much harder / before it gets better baby that's for sure.."
I think with anything, there has got to be a low point somewhere before you realize how special what you have is. Like anything, you don't realize what you got until it's gone.
So yeah.
Anyhoo, thisis me answering five more of your ever so complex questions. Keep sending them in and hopefully I'll get to them one day :) Also, Rest in Peace Tessa. You are greatly loved and will be missed.
STAY OUT OF TROUBLE AND DON'T FORGET TO SMILE. You are all the reason that I still can manage my sanity with all your crazy questions.. ;)
love etc,
rachelrae xx
Sorry I haven't written in so long... coming back from Christmas vacation I was expecting a lot of catch up.. but opening up my email I never would have expected close to 4 whole pages of new questions!
So let's go through these, see how many we can go through, shall we? ;)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1) How far is too far with my girlfriend? She wants to go all the way, and I want to too, but I don't want to regret anything. - via email
JAAG: Firstly, if you are asking that question with hesitation, this shows that even you yourself don't really know what you want out of this relationship. If you really loved her and you really did want to go all the way with her, then you wouldn't have second thoughts about doing something that you regret because you know she is the one. Of course, with us adolecents being at such a young age, it's hard to know whether or not we really did find true love. 8 times out of 10, the love you find in high school won't be the one you end up walking down the aisle with 10, 15 years into the future.
Secondly, if you are having doubts, I think you should talk to her about it. Please remember, though: what you are wanting to do is something permanent and cannot be erased. The best protection against a future that you may not be ready for is to not do anything at all and wait. That is my personal moral view on this. of course, I can't stop you from doing what you want, but seriously: if you have doubts, you might need to go back to the drawing board to see what's up. You could save yourself from a potential heartbreak if you find the source immediately.
2) JAAG, there is this guy that I have like forever, but he never liked me back. Now, there is this new girl in my grade, and two weeks in she is already making out with the guy of my dreams. Is he just a jerk or am I just too in love with him to see his flaws? - via email
JAAG: you do realize that both of your questions at the end of your email there both mean the same thing, right? ;) But that's not the point, I guess...
Well, let me be the first to tell you that I have also felt that jealousy too. This is a guy that you have dreamed of dating, the perfect prince to be part of your perfect fairytale. But maybe you have been so busy fantasizing the endless possibilities on how he could sweep you off yoru feet when you should be focussing on the fact that he likes to discriminate against people who are not on the basketball team. If you yourself are a strong believer of anti-bullying, then this should be a big warning sign telling you to drop the crush because he is a jerk. I don't want to make efalse accusations about the girl, either, but it seems to me like they are pretty happy with each other, maybe because they are both jerks themselves (too late :P) any how, MOVE ON. You'll be happier, I promise, when you find someone that likes you back for who you are.
3) I want to introduce my girlfriend to my parents, but everytime I have a free date, she comes up with an excuse. The first couple times, I got that she had a dentist appointment or had to go visit her grandmother in the hospital, but tutoring her sister? She doesn't have a sister! What does all this mean? - via email
JAAG: My mother gave me one important advice when I first told her about my first crush: "When things get really serious, bring him home. If he genuinely wants to meet us, then you can see how much he wants to be a part of your life. However, if he is avoiding the topic of family altogether, then that should be a red flag right there."
OKAY. So she is avoiding the topic of, 'hey, I want you to meet my family..' with absolutely terrible ninja skills. Here's the thing: maybe she is just nervous (that is the absolute weakest benefit of the doubt right there). So ask her. Ask her why she is avoiding this topic (you can start along the lines of, 'I know for a fact that you don't have a sister to tutor...) and gage her response. If you can tell that she is bluffing, maybe you should set up a time for the two of you to understand each other a little more. Ask her why she is doing this to you. Of course, this could lead to a) her telling you that she is sorry for lying, she's actually quite scared of meeting your parents, and you guys will go on saturday; or b) you find out that she has been cheating on you.
From one extreme to another, that's how it will play out. I must say though, unfortunately, option b) is the more likely one. Usually people coming up with lame excuses to avoid something usually means that something is up. Check out the situation, and best of luck!
4) there is this girl that is terribly desperate. she is constantly throwing herself at me and trying to draw all attention to herself. I don't really like her (correction: not at all). how can I politely decline her? - via email
JAAG: This is a tricky situation. How ironic though, for me to be listening to David Archuleta's 'Desperate' on my Windows Media Player while writing this answer out for this question... hmm...
Well, if you genuinely don't like her, I don't think that it is fair for either of you to be in an awkward situation. Go talk to her in private. Tell her, 'Hey, I think you're a nice girl and everything, but I think we would be better off friends.' That will tell her, somewhat indirectly, that you don't share the same feelings for her as she does. But please, don't do this in front of her friends. Catch her alone, make straight eye contact with her, and avoid anything like a hug of consolation or even touching her hand/shoulder, etc. Your words will hit her, but any unnecessary touch to her will lead her to believe that you are lying to her and that now, she should try harder. Make your intent clear, keep your hands in your pockets, and speak with a polite but firm voice. Good luck!
5) My mom doesn't understand my boyfriend. He is really into all the punk music and dresses in all black leather and studs. She thinks that he is a gangster, when really he is the type that wouldn't hurt a fly. How can I convince her to give him a chance? - via email
JAAG: The best way would be to convince both your mom and your boyfriend that you should all have dinner together. Invite him over, and tell your mom that he really wants to meet her. If this is all successful, then when the conversation starts, try to steer clear of the topic of his clothes or taste of music off to the side for later when both your boyfriend and your mom are warmed up. If the topics ever do come up (which you should prep your boyfriend about), stay calm and don't start hallucinating. Let your boyfriend handle this and just watch from the sidelines. Hopefully your cutie will be able to help your mom see a different side of him!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The snow has returned, somewhat. Life is also somewhat back to normal.
My @JAAG twitter got an @reply the other day: @JAAG how is everything doing with your beau?
And here is my response to that: Things are okay. They aren't the best, but things will get better. I learned this from listening to Matthew Morrison's "Still Got Tonight" : "It's gonna get much harder / before it gets better baby that's for sure.."
I think with anything, there has got to be a low point somewhere before you realize how special what you have is. Like anything, you don't realize what you got until it's gone.
So yeah.
Anyhoo, thisis me answering five more of your ever so complex questions. Keep sending them in and hopefully I'll get to them one day :) Also, Rest in Peace Tessa. You are greatly loved and will be missed.
STAY OUT OF TROUBLE AND DON'T FORGET TO SMILE. You are all the reason that I still can manage my sanity with all your crazy questions.. ;)
love etc,
rachelrae xx
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Merry Christmas!
Dear all JAAG readers,
Well, this is it! I wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! Thank you to all of you for being such faithful readers, you make me all feel so happy and thank you all for letting me into your worlds and helping you out! May you and yours have a wonderful Christmas and enjoy time together!
Love,
rachelrae xx
Well, this is it! I wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! Thank you to all of you for being such faithful readers, you make me all feel so happy and thank you all for letting me into your worlds and helping you out! May you and yours have a wonderful Christmas and enjoy time together!
Love,
rachelrae xx
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
three non-relationship related questions ! :D
hello fellow readers!
well, the Christmas season is drawing near, and we are only a couple days away from the big day!
When I opened my inbox the other day, I was surprised to find three questions that weren't related to relationships, surprisingly enough! LOL you guys are so cute :) Let's tackle them, shall we?
Q: My parents just got a divorce, and they are forcing me and my sister to choose sides. What should I do? I love them both equally, but I can't live like this! - via Email
JAAG: This is a sad situation, I must say, but not to worry. I think it will be beneficial for you and your sister to sit BOTH of your parents down and tell them that you love them both equally. Maybe make a compromise: you and your sister will stay over with each parent once every other week, (mom the first week of the month, the following week at dad's, and so on and so forth). See how this works out first, and hopefully this will make everything easier and less stressful.
Q: I want to apply for a job, but my parents both think that I am not responsible enough. I'm 16! What more do they need? - via Email
JAAG: Oh, the constant struggle of showing our parents how responsible we are. What you can start by doing is taking on extra chores (yes, extra chores), doing what you are told, and helping out your parents doing whatever they need help with. Maybe this will open their eyes to show them that 'Yes, I'm ready to take on more!' Also, keep on top of homework and maybe try to go for more leadership roles in school. That way, not only your parents but other people will see that you are ready for bigger things too!
Q: Recently I've been feeling really sad all the time. Is this normal? - via Twitter
JAAG: No, it's completely normal. Everyone has down days sometimes, some people more than others. Heck, even the girl giving you all advice has down days. I must admit though, I can relate to you. I think that you can combat this by surrounding yourself with people who make you feel good about yourself as opposed to people that bring you down. Distract yourself by doing things you love, and remember, never hold back your emotions. Talking to someone you trust will make you feel better, I promise you. Best of luck to you with this!
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And of course, I couldn't resist answering at least one more relationship question for you all!..
Q: Hi JAAG! I have a big problem: I dated this guy for about 6 months and then he broke up with me. Then, a month after, I jumped into a new relationship with this other guy that I didn't know very well. I had no idea that my new boyfriend is total enemies with my ex! Now my ex is jealous and is trying to win me back. This is a huge love triangle that I want out of STAT. What should I do? - via Email
JAAG: Ahh, the Love Triangle.. this is a tricky one. Well, you can learn a couple things from this scenario called your life:
- your ex? he's a jerk. Thank goodness you broke up with him in the first place. If he is super jealous of you after he broke up with you? IMMATURE. you're too good for him.
- This just goes to show that it helps to get to know someone first before you begin to date someone.
- If your boyfriend now doesn't bash your ex, then we know that he is mature. If he does bash your ex, then we know that he is also mature.
So, I think that to salvage this situation, ignore your ex. Continue to have the relationship you wanted with your new boyfriend. If, however, your new boyfriend is trying to make this an all out competition with your ex, then honey, I'm terribly sorry, but you can't let either of them win. They have to both lose out, because someone as special as you shouldn't have to deal with crappy boyfriends like these. Also, get to know guys first before you date them! Good luck! :)
so yeah, these are quite the interesting questions. I have to say though, I won't be here for a while to answer your questions, but don't fret, I will be back soon in early January! Continue to send in your questions, and I will answer them ASAP. Best of luck to all of you in your unique and interesting lives, and also, have a MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!
STAY OUT OF TROUBLE AND DON'T FORGET TO SMILE! Here's to a new year of amazingness and being unique and ourselves!
love and et cetera,
rachelrae xx
well, the Christmas season is drawing near, and we are only a couple days away from the big day!
When I opened my inbox the other day, I was surprised to find three questions that weren't related to relationships, surprisingly enough! LOL you guys are so cute :) Let's tackle them, shall we?
Q: My parents just got a divorce, and they are forcing me and my sister to choose sides. What should I do? I love them both equally, but I can't live like this! - via Email
JAAG: This is a sad situation, I must say, but not to worry. I think it will be beneficial for you and your sister to sit BOTH of your parents down and tell them that you love them both equally. Maybe make a compromise: you and your sister will stay over with each parent once every other week, (mom the first week of the month, the following week at dad's, and so on and so forth). See how this works out first, and hopefully this will make everything easier and less stressful.
Q: I want to apply for a job, but my parents both think that I am not responsible enough. I'm 16! What more do they need? - via Email
JAAG: Oh, the constant struggle of showing our parents how responsible we are. What you can start by doing is taking on extra chores (yes, extra chores), doing what you are told, and helping out your parents doing whatever they need help with. Maybe this will open their eyes to show them that 'Yes, I'm ready to take on more!' Also, keep on top of homework and maybe try to go for more leadership roles in school. That way, not only your parents but other people will see that you are ready for bigger things too!
Q: Recently I've been feeling really sad all the time. Is this normal? - via Twitter
JAAG: No, it's completely normal. Everyone has down days sometimes, some people more than others. Heck, even the girl giving you all advice has down days. I must admit though, I can relate to you. I think that you can combat this by surrounding yourself with people who make you feel good about yourself as opposed to people that bring you down. Distract yourself by doing things you love, and remember, never hold back your emotions. Talking to someone you trust will make you feel better, I promise you. Best of luck to you with this!
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And of course, I couldn't resist answering at least one more relationship question for you all!..
Q: Hi JAAG! I have a big problem: I dated this guy for about 6 months and then he broke up with me. Then, a month after, I jumped into a new relationship with this other guy that I didn't know very well. I had no idea that my new boyfriend is total enemies with my ex! Now my ex is jealous and is trying to win me back. This is a huge love triangle that I want out of STAT. What should I do? - via Email
JAAG: Ahh, the Love Triangle.. this is a tricky one. Well, you can learn a couple things from this scenario called your life:
- your ex? he's a jerk. Thank goodness you broke up with him in the first place. If he is super jealous of you after he broke up with you? IMMATURE. you're too good for him.
- This just goes to show that it helps to get to know someone first before you begin to date someone.
- If your boyfriend now doesn't bash your ex, then we know that he is mature. If he does bash your ex, then we know that he is also mature.
So, I think that to salvage this situation, ignore your ex. Continue to have the relationship you wanted with your new boyfriend. If, however, your new boyfriend is trying to make this an all out competition with your ex, then honey, I'm terribly sorry, but you can't let either of them win. They have to both lose out, because someone as special as you shouldn't have to deal with crappy boyfriends like these. Also, get to know guys first before you date them! Good luck! :)
so yeah, these are quite the interesting questions. I have to say though, I won't be here for a while to answer your questions, but don't fret, I will be back soon in early January! Continue to send in your questions, and I will answer them ASAP. Best of luck to all of you in your unique and interesting lives, and also, have a MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!
STAY OUT OF TROUBLE AND DON'T FORGET TO SMILE! Here's to a new year of amazingness and being unique and ourselves!
love and et cetera,
rachelrae xx
Thursday, December 15, 2011
You've all given me a ton to think about!
The end of the school year ended today :) quite exciting, it's already Christmas!
Also, even though I answered 5 more questions my last post, ever since then my email was flooded with even more questions! you people have very interesting lives, I must say. Also, it is interesting to read some of these: now you guys are moving on from strictly relationship to more complex things. Is this a full blown advice column or what? Let me know, and I can make changes accordingly in the new year :)
Here we go, let's tackle five more of these questions!
Q: There are two guys that I like. One I have known for pretty much ever but he doesn't seem to get the point that friendship means that we are there for each other. The other guy is a new guy at my school: I just met him but he strikes me as a really nice guy. plus, when I talk to him I feel as if I have known him forever. I'm in love with both of them... but who should I go for? - via Email
JAAG: This is a situation that hits home, not just because I have dealt with feelings like that before as well but also because I know friends who feel the same way you do, so don't worry, it's not an uncommon feeling. I guess you should stay true to yourself and what you believe that you want to see in a boyfriend in your future. You should stay away from people who don't keep their promises or can't help you back onto your feet when you are down. Look for people who believe in you and respect you for who YOU are. If you do, then you will find that you are much, much happier.
Q: There is this guy that I don't like AT ALL, but he makes fun of me all the time. He is constantly bullying me and I have no idea what to do about it. I am really really mad at him. -via Email
JAAG: Hey, I've dealt with jerks like that too, so I can definitely help you with this.
Firstly, don't contain your anger. Talk it out with people that you trust. Vent to them about how you feel. Then, I would suggest for you to go and talk to this guy. He needs to be put in his place, and you can do that by telling him how you feel and how he offends you. If you tell him and he shows no remorse and (worse) continues to bully you, go tell a trusted adult or administration. Bullying doesn't belong in any area and should never be directed to anyone. Make sure that you don't hold in your anger to yourself too long, or else you might face an emotional break down. With a strong suppport system, you will be able to weather this storm fine. Good luck!
Q: How can I ask a guy out? -via Twitter
JAAG: Unlike the above two questions, I have no expertise in this field because no one has ever asked me out nor have I ever asked anyone out. What I can offer, however, is to just be yourself and friendly. If you really like a guy and you want them to fall for the real you, be genuine. Don't be the girl that laughs at random football jokes that you don't understand just because he is the quarterback of the team. Show him that you are good at bio and that you love dissecting frogs, and don't settle for anything less!
As for asking him out, start it off as a group activity. Maybe you and a couple friends are going to watch that new action flick coming out. Casually mention it to him and leave it open, giving him a chance to back out or think about it before commiting. After a couple of these activities, it will really show if he is the one for you... and if you still like him that way.
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well, like I said above, Christmas is coming so so so so so soon! I can't wait, can you??
STAY OUT OF TROUBLE AND DON;T FORGET TO SMILE! Merry Christmas and have a safe and happy New Year!
love,
rachelrae xx
Also, even though I answered 5 more questions my last post, ever since then my email was flooded with even more questions! you people have very interesting lives, I must say. Also, it is interesting to read some of these: now you guys are moving on from strictly relationship to more complex things. Is this a full blown advice column or what? Let me know, and I can make changes accordingly in the new year :)
Here we go, let's tackle five more of these questions!
Q: There are two guys that I like. One I have known for pretty much ever but he doesn't seem to get the point that friendship means that we are there for each other. The other guy is a new guy at my school: I just met him but he strikes me as a really nice guy. plus, when I talk to him I feel as if I have known him forever. I'm in love with both of them... but who should I go for? - via Email
JAAG: This is a situation that hits home, not just because I have dealt with feelings like that before as well but also because I know friends who feel the same way you do, so don't worry, it's not an uncommon feeling. I guess you should stay true to yourself and what you believe that you want to see in a boyfriend in your future. You should stay away from people who don't keep their promises or can't help you back onto your feet when you are down. Look for people who believe in you and respect you for who YOU are. If you do, then you will find that you are much, much happier.
Q: There is this guy that I don't like AT ALL, but he makes fun of me all the time. He is constantly bullying me and I have no idea what to do about it. I am really really mad at him. -via Email
JAAG: Hey, I've dealt with jerks like that too, so I can definitely help you with this.
Firstly, don't contain your anger. Talk it out with people that you trust. Vent to them about how you feel. Then, I would suggest for you to go and talk to this guy. He needs to be put in his place, and you can do that by telling him how you feel and how he offends you. If you tell him and he shows no remorse and (worse) continues to bully you, go tell a trusted adult or administration. Bullying doesn't belong in any area and should never be directed to anyone. Make sure that you don't hold in your anger to yourself too long, or else you might face an emotional break down. With a strong suppport system, you will be able to weather this storm fine. Good luck!
Q: How can I ask a guy out? -via Twitter
JAAG: Unlike the above two questions, I have no expertise in this field because no one has ever asked me out nor have I ever asked anyone out. What I can offer, however, is to just be yourself and friendly. If you really like a guy and you want them to fall for the real you, be genuine. Don't be the girl that laughs at random football jokes that you don't understand just because he is the quarterback of the team. Show him that you are good at bio and that you love dissecting frogs, and don't settle for anything less!
As for asking him out, start it off as a group activity. Maybe you and a couple friends are going to watch that new action flick coming out. Casually mention it to him and leave it open, giving him a chance to back out or think about it before commiting. After a couple of these activities, it will really show if he is the one for you... and if you still like him that way.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
well, like I said above, Christmas is coming so so so so so soon! I can't wait, can you??
STAY OUT OF TROUBLE AND DON;T FORGET TO SMILE! Merry Christmas and have a safe and happy New Year!
love,
rachelrae xx
Friday, December 9, 2011
Questions revisited :)
Hello everyone! December already, hmm?... can't believe how fast time flies.
Well last post I promised some questions to be answered right? let's tackle them now, shall we? ...
Q: JAAG, there is this guy that is constantly hitting on me. the thing is, i like him but i really don't want to return the romance. any thoughts on how to get this guy off my back? - via Email
JAAG: LOL, that happens to us all at one point in time or another, myself included. what I can give you is that you should let things be. Don't be overly harsh just to tell him that he isn't worth your time, but at the same time, monitor your behaviour around him. Yes, YOUR behaviour. are you touchy feely with him a lot or maybe laugh at jokes that really aren't that funny that he says? if you are, you could be potentially leading him on for no apparent reason and no intention of dating him. Just be yourself and be natural, and hopefully things will go a lot more smoothly for you.
Q: any tips on how to be a better flirt? - via Twitter
JAAG: okay there. i think that the question you meant to ask was, "any tips on how to be a better person that more people will appreciate?" being a flirt isn't all that difficult, but what makes it difficult is that you end up with less than you started out with. what i mean is, being a flirt may get you so far, but after that, there is no substance to what you say or your actions. by being a genuine person who is not superficial or fake and definitely NOT a flirt, you will see that more people, guys and girls alike, will accept you for who you are. it also makes it easier for people to fall for the real you and not a second rate, fake version of you.
Q: there is this guy in the drama club that constantly flirts with me, but when i see him outside of drama club, he acts all haughty and arrogant. why is that? - via email
JAAG: well, let me start off by saying that maybe, just maybe, but don't hold this to me... that maybe he likes you. i take it that maybe he doesn't have that many of his manly guy friends in drama club, and when he is around them, he wants to show them who is boss and who is in charge in this so called 'relationship'. if you think that nah, he doesn't like me, then this guy is a big jerk. call him out on it when you see him in drama club. ask him what the deal is. if he acts all innocent but his alter ego comes out when he leaves the drama club walls, then you know that this guy is definitely not worth your time, and you should move onto the tenor in the club who can't get enough of reading Macbeth. good luck!
Q: How do i tell my boyfriend of three months that it's over? - via Twitter
JAAG: that always hurts, especially if he is the one that still believes in the relationship. I can't tell you how to break up with him, but I can offer some guidelines:
1) Be honest and to the point. It's hard enough for you and for him, so don't beat around the bush with it by trying to soften the blow. tell him nicely, but don't drag it on for the whole lunch hour. make it concise and then leave him alone so that he can absorb the information.
2) Privacy is the best policy. Even though you may need one of your girls for moral support, really, it's showing diesrespect to him. Pull him away from the group gently, and tell him what you need to say. and never do it in front of his friends.
3) NEVER DO THIS OVER EMAIL, FACEBOOK, TWITTER, OR TEXT. as hard as it might be, face to face not only brings you more merit and is more honest, it shows the guy that you are no chicken and you aren't backing out of this the easy way. a phone call is okay but not the best or the most respectful.
I hope these points help. good luck to you with this!
Q: I broke up with my boyfriend a month ago. Now everytime I see him, I think back to when we were together. Sometimes when we talk together I feel myself flirting with him! do you think it was wrong of me to break up with him in the first place? should I get back together with him? - via BloggerMail
JAAG: wow, two questions in one! firstly, congratulations to you and your ex for making things not as awkward and being able to carry a conversation with him despite your past. I can't tell you whether or not it was necessarily wrong of you to break up with him, it's all up to you. Maybe you catch yourself flirting with him because you know him and it's a comfortable spot that you relaxed back into. ask yourself why you broke up with him in the first place, and see if what he does, etc, still bothers you.
secondly, talk to him and be honest with him and yourself. tell him how you feel. If you both think that maybe it was a mistake, then maybe there is a chance for a second romance. i must warn you though: if you break up again, third time usually is not a charm in this case. you may be better off moving on after that point.
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AIIGHTS. thanks again for all of your amazingly difficult but interesting questions! next post will definitely have more to be answered.
well, exam week has just ended. i have another exam tomorrow (sob sob sob!) but after that, it will be free fallling for me. as a matter of fact, I should be studying for that three hour test but NO, I'm answering your questions instead :) oh well. we have a music concert tonight! wish me luck, I have a jazz solo!
if i don't write back within the next couple weeks, I would like to personally wish you and yours a very happy holidays, a peaceful and relaxing Christmas and a prosperous New Year!
STAY OUT OF TROUBLE AND DON'T FORGET TO SMILE! Cheers to everyone in the New Year!
love,
rachelrae xx
Well last post I promised some questions to be answered right? let's tackle them now, shall we? ...
Q: JAAG, there is this guy that is constantly hitting on me. the thing is, i like him but i really don't want to return the romance. any thoughts on how to get this guy off my back? - via Email
JAAG: LOL, that happens to us all at one point in time or another, myself included. what I can give you is that you should let things be. Don't be overly harsh just to tell him that he isn't worth your time, but at the same time, monitor your behaviour around him. Yes, YOUR behaviour. are you touchy feely with him a lot or maybe laugh at jokes that really aren't that funny that he says? if you are, you could be potentially leading him on for no apparent reason and no intention of dating him. Just be yourself and be natural, and hopefully things will go a lot more smoothly for you.
Q: any tips on how to be a better flirt? - via Twitter
JAAG: okay there. i think that the question you meant to ask was, "any tips on how to be a better person that more people will appreciate?" being a flirt isn't all that difficult, but what makes it difficult is that you end up with less than you started out with. what i mean is, being a flirt may get you so far, but after that, there is no substance to what you say or your actions. by being a genuine person who is not superficial or fake and definitely NOT a flirt, you will see that more people, guys and girls alike, will accept you for who you are. it also makes it easier for people to fall for the real you and not a second rate, fake version of you.
Q: there is this guy in the drama club that constantly flirts with me, but when i see him outside of drama club, he acts all haughty and arrogant. why is that? - via email
JAAG: well, let me start off by saying that maybe, just maybe, but don't hold this to me... that maybe he likes you. i take it that maybe he doesn't have that many of his manly guy friends in drama club, and when he is around them, he wants to show them who is boss and who is in charge in this so called 'relationship'. if you think that nah, he doesn't like me, then this guy is a big jerk. call him out on it when you see him in drama club. ask him what the deal is. if he acts all innocent but his alter ego comes out when he leaves the drama club walls, then you know that this guy is definitely not worth your time, and you should move onto the tenor in the club who can't get enough of reading Macbeth. good luck!
Q: How do i tell my boyfriend of three months that it's over? - via Twitter
JAAG: that always hurts, especially if he is the one that still believes in the relationship. I can't tell you how to break up with him, but I can offer some guidelines:
1) Be honest and to the point. It's hard enough for you and for him, so don't beat around the bush with it by trying to soften the blow. tell him nicely, but don't drag it on for the whole lunch hour. make it concise and then leave him alone so that he can absorb the information.
2) Privacy is the best policy. Even though you may need one of your girls for moral support, really, it's showing diesrespect to him. Pull him away from the group gently, and tell him what you need to say. and never do it in front of his friends.
3) NEVER DO THIS OVER EMAIL, FACEBOOK, TWITTER, OR TEXT. as hard as it might be, face to face not only brings you more merit and is more honest, it shows the guy that you are no chicken and you aren't backing out of this the easy way. a phone call is okay but not the best or the most respectful.
I hope these points help. good luck to you with this!
Q: I broke up with my boyfriend a month ago. Now everytime I see him, I think back to when we were together. Sometimes when we talk together I feel myself flirting with him! do you think it was wrong of me to break up with him in the first place? should I get back together with him? - via BloggerMail
JAAG: wow, two questions in one! firstly, congratulations to you and your ex for making things not as awkward and being able to carry a conversation with him despite your past. I can't tell you whether or not it was necessarily wrong of you to break up with him, it's all up to you. Maybe you catch yourself flirting with him because you know him and it's a comfortable spot that you relaxed back into. ask yourself why you broke up with him in the first place, and see if what he does, etc, still bothers you.
secondly, talk to him and be honest with him and yourself. tell him how you feel. If you both think that maybe it was a mistake, then maybe there is a chance for a second romance. i must warn you though: if you break up again, third time usually is not a charm in this case. you may be better off moving on after that point.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
AIIGHTS. thanks again for all of your amazingly difficult but interesting questions! next post will definitely have more to be answered.
well, exam week has just ended. i have another exam tomorrow (sob sob sob!) but after that, it will be free fallling for me. as a matter of fact, I should be studying for that three hour test but NO, I'm answering your questions instead :) oh well. we have a music concert tonight! wish me luck, I have a jazz solo!
if i don't write back within the next couple weeks, I would like to personally wish you and yours a very happy holidays, a peaceful and relaxing Christmas and a prosperous New Year!
STAY OUT OF TROUBLE AND DON'T FORGET TO SMILE! Cheers to everyone in the New Year!
love,
rachelrae xx
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